Rally Ho!

Personally, I think tomorrow’s rally should be faded. However, I’ve been known to change my mind, within seconds of making a strong stand. I’m fucked up like that.

NO MORE POLITICS, by the way. The previous post was intended to let out the pent up frustration. Now, we must all attend to the “The Fly’s” desires to bank more stock market coin.

At any rate, I still say short the shit out of Petrohawk Energy Corporation [[HK]] , as if you were playing with your neighbors 401k. And, get long some [[DUG]] . However, in the event that I am wrong and we rally up, getting our tax hike party on, here are some top rated stocks, courtesy of The PPT:

Overall Top Rated Hybrid:

1 Applied Signal Technology, Inc. (APSG: 17.92 -0.55%) 4.15 4.7 4.4
2 Aceto Corporation (ACET: 8.76 +3.18%) 3.85 4.7 4.24
3 PetMed Express, Inc. (PETS: 17.90 -1.92%) 4.35 4 4.19
4 Boardwalk Pipeline Partners, LP (BWP: 25.50 +0.08%) 4.3 3.95 4.15
5 Odyssey HealthCare, Inc. (ODSY: 10.16 -1.65%) 4.1 4.2 4.15
6 Spartan Stores, Inc. (SPTN: 27.41 +1.67%) 4.15 4.15 4.15
7 Black Box Corporation (BBOX: 31.66 -1.06%) 3.65 4.6 4.08
8 Consolidated Edison, Inc. (ED: 44.53 +2.11%) 3.45 4.8 4.06
9 Oriental Financial Group Inc. (OFG: 16.67 +2.77%) 3.2 5.1 4.06
10 Ka0man Corporation (KAMN: 26.53 +0.11%) 3.5 4.7 4.05

Overall Top Rated Technical

1 Questcor Pharmaceuticals, Inc. (QCOR: 8.86 +6.24%) 4.45 3 3.8
2 SI International, Inc. (SINT: 29.25 +0.93%) 4.4 3 3.77
3 PetMed Express, Inc. (PETS: 17.90 -1.92%) 4.35 4 4.19
4 Boardwalk Pipeline Partners, LP (BWP: 25.50 +0.08%) 4.3 3.95 4.15
5 Applied Signal Technology, Inc. (APSG: 17.92 -0.55%) 4.15 4.7 4.4
6 Emergency Medical Services Corporation (EMS: 36.09 +8.97%) 4.15 3.6 3.9
7 Spartan Stores, Inc. (SPTN: 27.41 +1.67%) 4.15 4.15 4.15
8 (USQ: 8.01 0.00%) 4.15 2.6 3.45
9 Genoptix, Inc. (GXDX: 35.61 +0.94%) 4.1 2.8 3.52
10 Odyssey HealthCare, Inc. (ODSY: 10.16 -1.65%) 4.1 4.2 4.15

Top Ranked ETF’s

1 (IEI: 0.00 N/A) 4.35
2 (CYB: 25.23 +0.48%) 3.8
3 (IEF: 88.76 +1.20%) 3.8
4 (SEA: 12.85 +3.88%) 3.67
5 (SDY: 45.90 +2.46%) 3.6
6 (PLW: 26.85 +1.51%) 3.5
7 (PWND: 11.9199 +11.64%) 3.4
8 (IWR: 66.46 +3.46%) 3.15
9 (MGC: 34.99 +3.95%) 3.15
10 (PPA: 14.69 +3.23%) 3.15

Overall Top Ranked Fundamental

1 Teck Cominco Limited (USA) (TCK: 12.54 +14.63%) 2.55 5.3 3.79
2 Yanzhou Coal Mining Co. (ADR) (YZC: 6.58 +6.99%) 2.5 5.3 3.77
3 Capstead Mortgage Corporation (CMO: 10.43 +4.30%) 2.05 5.2 3.47
4 Companhia Paranaense de Energia (ADR) (ELP: 12.15 +3.93%) 2.05 5.2 3.47
5 Tidewater Inc. (TDW: 45.87 +10.05%) 1.95 5.2 3.41
6 Euroseas Ltd. [[ESEA]] 2.4 5.15 3.64
7 Garmin Ltd. (GRMN: 22.14 +0.41%) 1.7 5.15 3.26
8 McGrath RentCorp (MGRC: 23.50 -0.09%) 2.35 5.15 3.61
9 Turkcell Iletisim Hizmetleri A.S. (ADR) [[TKC]] 2.3 5.15 3.59
10 Arch Capital Group Ltd. (ACGL: 68.35 +0.65%) 2.45 5.1 3.65

The republicans are fucking horse faced asshats. Boy did they blow an opportunity of a lifetime, over the last 8 years. Tonight, I voted against all republicans, in order to punish them for their stupidity.

God willing, within 10 years, there will be no more republicans left in office. I’d like to see every single one of those “horse faced egg fuckers” voted out, then witness their automobiles fall victim to random molotov cocktails.

Why, you ask?

Why the fuck not?

These pricks presided over the biggest financial fuck up, since the Romans sold short gunpowder stocks and went long catapults, in size.

Plus anyway, Obama is the messiah. He will take our taxes and make gold castles with them. He will invade China and force them to wear red turbans, in order to placate our new allies in the Steppes.

Life will be “Obamaesque,” once Obama sits at the head of all tables.

He will kill Wall Street bankers and use their tennis courts to manufacture government cheese and powdered milk. The liberals will have their way, via a filibuster proof Senate, with all sorts of egregious shit. Just in case you are worried and “bible-esque,” fear not. The good Lord is on Obama’s side and will make sure that he (Obama) is able to tax the rich (anyone making more than 20 grand) at an outrageous 70% clip—without debate.

All of you doctor motherfuckers will enjoy 90% pay cuts, under a new egregious healthcare plan.

Howsofuckingever, I look forward to bankrupting doctors and nurses, along with hospitals, in order to teach them a lesson in life. Money is NOT to be made off of other peoples ailments. The Lord will spite those who do so and tax them at very high rates.

Finally, “The Fly” is very much interested in seeing taxes raised and tobacco/oil companies bankrupted, for they do not employ anyone. All they do is employ evil, blood thirsty cancer dealers, who preside from the darkest corners of the Earth, and whose goal in life is to “horsefuck” America into a very bad homeless/dead situation.

God Bless America, sort of.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuTiTfbfy7Q 450 300]

Obama already won. There is no need for you to vote. With his win, gallantly, he will take your “excess savings,” and send it to homeless people in the streets of Philly. Also, he will take your 401k plans and use it to grease the tracks of his “Obama tanks.”

Do not fight the trend of outright socialism. It is in vogue; everyone is doing it.

Regarding the market:

I am betting the oil sector trades down tomorrow. I bought some [[DUG]] . And, I took down a small short position in that son of a bitch of a whore Petrohawk Energy Corporation [[HK]] . I realize that last sentence is offensive to many of you bible lovers. Too bad.

“The Fly” thou shou [sic] use profuse amounts of cursible [sic] jargon, with great vigor. Blesseth be thy horse cows and may the force be with you.

Amen.

Fly

I sold short 10,000 Petrohawk Energy Corporation [[HK]] @ $18.25. And, I bought 10,000 [[DUG]] @ $35.80.

UPDATE: I bought 1,000 [[EEV]] @ $78.16 and 1,000 [[SDS]] @ $80.25.

So sorry. I could not help myself,

Disclaimer: If you follow the above trades because of this post, the elections will go direly wrong. And, you may lose money.

Let’s just put it on the table, shall we?

“The Fly” nailed the bottom and is smarter than you and your Dad combined. Can we agree on that?

Thanks.

LIBOR is no longer an issue. Now, all we have to worry about are silly fundamentals. However, there is no need to worry about that either, considering earnings season is just about over. Nonetheless, I am holding nearly 65% cash, just in case we get a post election debacle.

If not, one must suck the marrow out of the bones from this market, via egregious commodity plays or beaten down tech. My preference, as you already know, is in Ag—via CNH Global N.V. (ADR) [[CNH]] , American Vanguard Corp. [[AVD]] or Potash Corp./Saskatchewan (USA) [[POT]] .

Let it be known, my fucking traders are the most incompetent imbeciles on Wall Street. These assholes are completely devoid of reason and would bring down any brokerage firm, if given the chance, through their idiotic decision making skills.

And, let it be known, the universe of inverse etf’s are feeling the knife of certain death on their scrawny necks. Indeed, those who are short equities shall feel the wind of my robe and the point of my sword, as the “Imperial Wizard of Equities,” aka “The Fly” mushroom clouds his way up the totem pole (it does not matter that this sentence makes no sense. Be gone!).

“The Fly” is enjoying glorious glory, via outrageous stock market wins. Even my IT guy, Jeremy, is rather perturbed and quite jealous of my victories, for they are without warning or reason. They just happen and it vexes men, who look at fractals in their spare time, to no end.

In closing, I will not buy any inverse etf’s today. Instead, I shall purchase the finest bottle of aged port around and guzzle it down, as if my liver was made from sponges.

Top picks: BE Aerospace, Inc. [[BEAV]] , American Vanguard Corp. [[AVD]] , [[UYG]] , [[M]]

There I was, acting all clever and shit, selling 90% of my National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] position yesterday, trying to avoid a dip. Lo and behold, here I am today, mind you, throwing the office silverware around, infuriated for missing out on today’s run. I knew the stock was cheap. But I wanted to be “clever.” BAM: 4 points in my face.

On the bright side, my BE Aerospace, Inc. [[BEAV]] position is running hard. It appears the elections have released the animal spirits of the markets.

Again, I want to sell into this rally and buy cheaper. I might even do a little short selling. Petrohawk Energy Corporation [[HK]] looks like a piece of shit, dying to trade down.

I still own a nice chunk of [[UYG]] . There she blows!

And, my starter position in American Vanguard Corp. [[AVD]] is doing exactly what “The Fly” wants it to do: go higher.

In short, life is incredibly grand, aside from the random forks and knives on my office floor. Missing out on National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] hurts; but it’s part of the game.

For a trade, I like all ag stocks, specifically CNH Global N.V. (ADR) [[CNH]] , American Vanguard Corp. [[AVD]] , Potash Corp./Saskatchewan (USA) [[POT]] and Agrium Inc. (USA) [[AGU]] . I still own a meaningless amount of The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] . But that fucker is up way too much here.

More on this later.

UPDATE: I bought 8,000 [[AVD]] @$15.

UPDATE II: I bought 1,000 [[BEAV]] @ $13.99

UPDATE III: I sold 2,000 [[NOV]] @ $33.50

God forbid the Tin man and Dog sledder capsize the Obama boat, you green fuckers will be eating your shoes come Wednesday. I said, you liberal cocksuckers (pun intended) will be eating your shoes.

I know the classic lib plays: Calgon Carbon Corporation [[CCC]] , First Solar, Inc. [[FSLR]] , Yingli Green Energy Hold. Co. Ltd. (ADR) [[YGE]] etc. All of the water filtration and “green stocks” need to be sold now, every which way but loose.

I don’t think McCain will win. However, I do think a lot of idiots are leaning one way, for a long time. In other words, investing in stocks, based upon one election result is entirely stupid. If you have profits in any “Obama plays,” sell them tomorrow, else prepare to eat your rubber shoes.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lfqraa2hUlg 450 300]

I am running away from this market, like a little bitch, ahead of the “historic elections.” I blew out of 90% of my National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] , despite loving the valuations, due to a capital preservation move on “The Fly’s” behalf. Right now, my cash position stands at a staggering, yet pussified, 70%.

Let it be known, “The Fly” is winning on a continuous basis, in all facets of life and the internet. He has been banking coin in this devil of a bitch of a whore of a market, even since he was old enough to tell people to go fuck themselves.

I bought a little more BE Aerospace, Inc. [[BEAV]] , towards the end of the day, mainly because I have money burning a hole in my pocket. It must go somewhere, why not “The Beaver”?

As an aside, I am all for “bankrupting the coal industry.” Fuck those bastards, with their canary killing ways. I say, let’s SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT, via dumping all available coal into the Atlantic Ocean.

With all of my Godly 10,000 dollar bank notes, I intend to invest them unwisely, then wisely, if you get my drift. My next move, without a doubt, will be wrong. It’s the law of averages—so sorry. However, I am aware of such likelihoods and plan on “tricking the trickers,” who are trying to get me, if you catch my drift.

My paranoia, by the way, is deep rooted in the fact that “The Fly” was a very poor man, in his past life. During that blue collared life,  I am sure I was killed, via falling air conditioner on my head, somewhere in the housing tenements, just south of the Bronx.

With that in mind, I employ the bloggers on this site for less than the ancient Roman minimum wage and have zero interest in giving them a raise. At the end of the day, all of the worlds money is mine; you’re just borrowing it from me, on a temporary basis.

Top pick: BE Aerospace, Inc. [[BEAV]]

UPDATE: Via The PPT, top 10 ranked etf’s:

1 [[DTO]] 4.4
2 [[DGZ]] 4.35
3 [[DEE]] 4.2
4 [[DRR]] 4
5 [[UUP]] 3.75
6 [[DZZ]] 3.65
7 [[BBH]] 3.65
8 [[ITE]] 3.55
9 [[RKH]] 3.4
10 [[PJB]] 3.4