During Bear Markets Losers Lose

Anyone can make coin in a roaring bull market. All one has to do is pick up the IBD or gloss over the 52 week high list and throw a few million dollars at a name—then wait.

I’m talking about our prized asset managers, the fucktards who manage billions for pension funds and 401k plans. Most of these guys can’t handle bear markets. They get all frazzled and shit, perpetually buying stocks like a habit—not too much different than a Brooklyn crack fiend.

Take a look at the mutual fund performance sheets. If a certain fund is greatly underperforming the S&P, odds are that fund will suffer cataclysmic redemptions. Most people have no loyalty when it comes to asset management. All they give a fuck about is returns.

With that in mind, here are a few losers to shoot at (sell short):

Do your own research, lazy internet leeches. Go find out which funds have the worst performance stats, then get back to me.

Not only is NYC jacking its water/sewer rates up by 14.5%, they’re also going to break your fucking concrete and cut your pipes, in order to terminate your service—providing you’re late and shit.

This is grande news for “The Fly,” as less water for the poor, means more for my lawn and shrubs.

Also, as an aside, NYC will no longer accept delinquent accounts. In the past, if your account was past due $1,000+ for one year or longer, assholes with jackhammers would come to your house and break through your pavers, in order to seal the water pipes to your house.

Now, under the direction of the gayest man to rock Gracie mansion since Koch, Bloomberg will have those same assholes with jackhammers bust through your new slate for just $500 in the hole and 6 months delinquent.

Speaking to someone in the business, the city is getting “clown fucked” by lots of deadbeats, unable to pay for basic service.

As a result, thinking about the people who need to drink water to survive and shit, Bloomberg and his fairy friends decided to hike rates and send out the “water nazi’s” to bust through stone and hardened tar, with the intentions of turning off good ol’ fashioned H2O to desperate family’s who need it.

Fuck poor people, God willing of course.

“The Fly” is transcendental!

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgj1MgmX3iI 450 300]

The quarter ends on Monday. Most “smart people” that I know are buying here, anticipating a bump next week.

I, on the other hand, have decided to take the opposite position.

The morons who manage billions of dollars will blow out of their non-energy positions, and load up on stocks like [[RIG]], come Monday.

Trading on this theme allows me to hold firm here, refusing to cover my shorts, denying the bulls respite.

As always, I offer them the “black flag.”

During this weekend, I intend to enjoy myself, poolside, sipping (not guzzling), on some “rich man’s whiskey.”

My top picks going into next week are as follows:

Long RIG, [[FTK]], [[ARD]], [[PCZ]], [[REW]] and [[TWM]].

Short [[FMBI]], [[WFSL]], [[PACW]], [[HRB]], [[LFC]] and [[TCB]].

Stay tuned for more egregious “Fly” wins.

Before I dive into the banks, it’s worth noting how incredible the energy trusts have been, namely [[BPT]], [[SJT]] and [[FDG]]. For the most part, these fuckers have been spitting out fat divi’s, while appreciating in price.

In other news, are you ready for some financial dilution?

All of these envelope fuckers are busy setting up more dilutive financing. When I say “envelope fuckers,” I mean bankers. They’re all in one big “deathspin,” with “Stuntman Mike” driving the car.

Looking into my bag of tricks and honor, I like [[WFSL]], [[FMBI]], [[TCB]] and [[HRB]] on the short side. Meaning: bid those fuckers lower.

Also, “The Fly” is knee-deep into oil. I’m just rolling on you oil bears with spiked wheels and shit. While I write this Godly post, I see Vince “the old asshat” Farrell is calling the market “bear.”

Whoop-di-fucking-doo!

Finally, I hate tech. I want it dead, in the back of a ’68 Chevy, then driven into a lake.

Top picks: REW, short FMBI, short WFSL

NOTE II: Does [[GM]] at 11 bucks worry anyone? Anyone? Remember, once the big industrials go, due to major cuts in municipal contracts, then we will really get the ol’ knife to the gut treatment. Don’t forget to short [[CAT]] when that happens.

I bought 2,000 [[REW]] @ $63.70.

Disclaimer: If you buy [[REW]] because of this post, your only son will grow up to be “Southern Dumb.” And, you may lose money.

That’s what you dumb fuckers want now, right?

You’re all a bunch of spoiled brats. Everything has to be given to you right away, or else you throw a tantrum and start selling your stocks.

Seriously, Americans have morphed from hardcore cigar smoking, stoned cold nazi killers to viagra popping, latte drinking stock market faggots.

We’re doomed. Don’t take my word for it. Go to your local mall and start screaming profanities, then watch everyone scatter like roaches. Then, hop in your local time machine and try that same shit in the year 1955. Ten bucks says you end up in a full body cast.

Regarding the market:

This shit is just ugly. However, I might go long, by the end of today’s session. Typically, after a spastically retarded trading week, the market snaps back. My only reservation is the prospect of some calamitous event occurring, causing the market to crater like 1987. However, after taking a deep breath and chewing on my mental medicine, I realized that such events are extremely rare and do not happen at the lows.

At the present, my investment thesis is to be long energy/short everything else. With my money, today, I will buy more [[RIG]], [[PCZ]] and [[ARD]], while adding to my tech shorts, via [[REW]].

Top pick: REW

Help?!!*

Hank Paulson, U.S. Bankruptcy Department, Goldman Sachs

“The Fly” was out all day, attending the most egregious event known to mankind. I didn’t even get to laugh at you fucktards, who are long equities.

Did you notice my wins?

I bet you did.

A special thanks to Option Addict for filling in. Aside from me, he is an excellent blogger and investor. All of you should all visit his site daily.

I noticed the iBC server was down today. From what I discerned, Vincenzo had nothing to do with today’s outage. He is no longer permitted to have gravy in the cold room. From what I could tell, the internet itself was protesting “The Fly’s” unannounced absence and decided to throw iBC the fuck offline.

Plus anyway, the internet does not like Woodshedder.

I haven’t had a chance to review today’s tape. However, my initial opinion is grim.

We’re hitting new mother fucking lows, despite the famous Vince “Asshat” Farrell bottom call, sponsored by CNBC and Thestreet.com.

More later.