Amateur Administration

What a tool this guy (Geithner) is. Fuck it, I called it wrong. I did not think the market would cascade “on the news.” It was too anticipated and so cliche.

Anyway, we are in very dangerous territory now, with the S&P below 830. I am sure the chartists on iBC will confirm my fears of a possible total collapse.

So what the fuck am I doing long stocks?

I don’t really know.

Let’s take a looksy at my longs-

CHL -3.57%
YZC -7.26%
FXI -4.92%
MT -11.65%
BUCY -6.96%
ACM -flat
JRJC +4.47%
LNN -5.61%

On the short side, the only meaningful positions (25% of assets) worth mentioning are DUG +8.27% and ERY +13.08%.

All in all, it was a pretty horrid day; but it could have been worse. For one, I could have been “all in” long. Additionally, I have more than 25% in cash.

So, despite wanting to punch the fucking chest hairs off Geithner and all of the transvestites on CNBC, I will live to fight another day.

On a serious note: this country is rudderless. Obama is a joke and the democratic leadership are so green and so not ready for the limelight, it’s fucking embarrassing.

Tomorrow is another day.

Off to drink myself stupid.

UPDATE: The most frustrating aspect of not banking coin during today’s sell off is missing out on having the moral authority to make fun of Cramer and his stupid bullish thesis, or Kudlow and his fucking mustards seeds, or Leisman and Cabruso “fucking” Cabrera and their idiotic bullish pandering. Plus, I know it would have been cool to make fun of “Chivas” and other career bulls on iBankCoin.

Fuck!

Sure, all of you little bastards are shooting at “The Fly” today, despite not having the luxury of being short this decline. It’s easy to just sit there, all unemployed and shit, like the little punk that you are, talking shit from the discomfort of the third class lifestyle that you are so accustomed to.

Unlike many of you idiots, I am not a day trader. I am more of a swing trader, looking for 5-20 day moves, while exhibiting the utmost patience and discipline when investing. Understand the difference between you and I and never forget it.

I move in big convoys, heavily guarded, armed to the teeth, while you walk. Comparing “The Fly” to your own trading is sort of like comparing Barry Bonds’ head, pre and post steroids.

Boo-Hoo, I am losing money today. Hey pal, go fuck yourself. This isn’t the first and it won’t be the last time losing some coin in the market. The point of what I do here: when the dust settles and the clouds of cocaine subside, I win.

My victories are grande [sic], some might call them decadent. However, when they occur, you will know why they call me HORATIO CLAWHAMMER.

Into the close, I will add to my DUG positions and leave all longs intact.

NOTE: The PPT is registering its lowest ranking ever, at 2.19. The only silver lining: each time it hit the 2.20’s the market bottomed, temporarily at least. Do or die here, else we get “Tim’d” again.

UPDATE: I bought 3,000 ERY @ $34.85.

Once again, the motherfuckers from the Fed and Treasury are clown raping the market. To make matters worse, I have a net long book now, into the teeth of a steroid induced collapse.

All of our leaders are ball-less. One way or another, the market will be worth less than a package of napkins, inside of 6 months.

BEHOLD: I have long positions.

Once again, in true circus master form, I might be forced to trim down some of my longs and add to shorts.

Why?

Well, for one, it makes little sense to ride these bastards down. And two, I need to lower the volume on the volatility.

The market is always out to kill me. If I were to get all emo and shit, holding positions just because I thought they were cool, I would have been wiped out a long time ago. Without a doubt, the time to sell short KIM, MAC, ESS, FRT and SLG was yesterday. By chasing them lower now, after the fact, would be utterly fucktarded and plain ol’ vanilla gay.

My goal here is to not get net short and make a gazillion bucks. Instead, I will calm the fuck down, raise some cash, hedge up a little, then go eat a few sandwiches.

After all, every time we get these sharp moves lower, miraculously, the market seems to go up, shortly thereafter.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_m7fyGQ_DpQ 450 300]

I’m not selling because I am already crazy. If I had a modicum of sanity about me, I would have went to cash, prior to the Geithner “fuck you, you’re dead” speech.

His speech was a whole lot of nothing. Again, the Obama administration reminds me of small children manning a fake boat, with silly hats on.

Lucky for me, I still own large amounts of DUG/ERY, mainly because I hate oil and the people who drill for it. But, on the other hand, I am getting my eyebrows punched off in MT, FXI, CHL, BUCY and YZC, just to name a few.

Just to recap my market experience:

Never trust people who are bullish on stocks, for they are mentally impaired. Whenever you think the market will break out, run away from stocks. And, by all means, always assume the Government will fuck you in the end.

FAZ and SRS are ripping higher here. I suppose it makes sense to own these two little fuckers, considering the market is giving longs the black death. But, once again, I can’t keep switching long to short, short to long. It really is driving me crazy.

For now, I will take my lumps for being long, during a depression. And, if anything, add to my oil shorts.

Last weekend I had dinner at my favorite Chinese restaurant in the world. It’s not a fancy place. As a matter of fact, it’s a hole in the wall dump. It’s an open kitchen with like 15 line cooks, all going crazy on one giant stove, with 3 foot flames coming from the grill and people spraying the floors with cold water, just to keep the kitchen clean—at all times. It looks as if those fuckers are cooking on top of some sort of psychopath fire breathing dragon. Plus, aside from all that, the head Chef aka “slave runner” keeps me entertained with his microphone antics, constantly yelling at his cooks.

I speak of this wonderful place to distract you from the markets, for it is trying to trick you into doing something stupid. I will not elaborate, as to what I actually mean by all this. However, just know, “The Fly” speaks the truth all the time, even when he appears to be lying blatantly.

Speaking of which, Geithner is going to fuck us all, isn’t he?

On a very personal level, I’m into buying stocks again, until I get burned or maimed. I like JRJC, ACM, LNN, BUCY and even FXI. Fuck, I even like GE here for a trade. I done lost my mind!

See folks, “The Fly” is all about assisting those who are in wheeled chairs into idle manholes or elevator shafts. If I could, I’d assist them into air ducts or sewer pipes too. However, I am far too busy, banking coin, blogging like the wind on this here internets, than to fuck around stuffing people into idle air ducts and shit.

Besides, there is much work to be done on iBankCoin. Some of you wake up in the morning and look forward to slapping your co workers in the face with a hot mop. I, on the other hand, am burdened with the gift of making ridiculously accurate market calls, then transmitting such said ideas to third parties.

The burden is too great.

I insist, focus less on the intraday trades and more on what the market will do over a 5 day span. You shall and will thank me later, for this sage and wisdom filled advice.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5u553a_zLAE&feature=subscription 450 300]

Go fuck yourselves.

None of you other bloggers can hold a candle to me. Your grammar is weak and your swagger is lame. If given the chance, I’d have a jelly doughnut punched into your mustache. You spend all day, fixing up your bullshit charts, while combing through a thesaurus, all for nothing. No one visits your bullshit blog, mainly because you are irrelevant and bring nothing to the table.

Sure, you’re a great guy. Your fucking neighbors say “hi”, whenever you go for a walk. I got news for you buddy: you’re an asshole with small knuckles and a big mouth.

I view life as one big explosion waiting to happen. When I die, it’s Nagasaki for me, regardless of how many beta blockers I guzzle down, trying to live forever.

Top pick: short you.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypYXHoqck_w&feature=channel_page 450 300]

GE is going up. Bank stocks don’t want to go down. Chinese stocks are bullet proof. And, our government is willing to margin out the fucking economy, in order to make us feel better about ourselves. God forbid we get a margin call.

Everyone I know is saying “fade the Geithner speech.” However, I believe it makes sense to go double negative on those fuckers, effectively fading the faders, which in turn would initiate a bullish position.

Good Lord, the market needs a little open field running here. Again, I would not be surprised to see many of you bearish/ideologue assholes kicked off cliffs, into alligator pits, until March. As you know, Senor Tropicana is all about doing that.

Unfortunately, I missed the sell point on my JRJC position, while on the phone with some fucking asshole—who was wasting my time. I will add to the position at $10 and again at $9, if needed.

Right now, if a shotgun was pressed to my head, in order to extract one stock pick, I’d say: “shoot me Sir if you must, but before you do, get long LNN.”

My gut says the market goes higher, despite us weakening here—late in the day. However, there is a disturbing thought, in the back in my mind, that Geithner will fuck up big time, effectively sending the market spiraling into the ocean. Plus, Obama and his democrat cohorts have no fucking idea what they are doing. Franky, they remind of children trying to operate a fake boat.

With my money, I’ve held firm, keeping both long and shorts. At the present, my only meaningful shorts are in the oil/gas field. Early this morning, Goldman Sachs slapped a downgrade on CVX, while upgrading lesser names, like CHK and MUR. Basically, they are trying to time a rotation, out of “safe” oil plays, into more risky.

I could not disagree more.

The reason why I am bullish, short term, has nothing to do with the economy, but seasonality. It is very common for the market to rally, going into spring, then seemingly fall off a cliff into summer.

Right now, I have rich gains, being on top of my game since day 1 of 2009. The goal now is to push the envelope a little, into a possible short squeeze for the ages.

Remember, the market is overvalued, but still at a very low point, numerically, if that makes any sense. In layman’s terms, we could shoot higher 1,000 points from here and no one would bitch about valuations.

“The Fly” conforms to the wind gusts and wins much more than you could ever imagine.

NOTE: I initiated two new positions today: LNN and ACM, both flagged by PPT.