ATTENTION BEARSHITTERS: Prepare For Elysium

You don’t really know what’s going on; but you pretend that you do on the internets. Does that make any sense to you? See, to me, you are all just a bunch of ham and eggers, throwing chocolate egg creams at one another. You are persistent in your fucktardedness; I’ll give you that. However, always remember, better men than you tried betting against “Le Fly;” look where it got them.

Exactly.

With my money, I am officially in “Hurricane Mode.” I will be adding to my Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Complete Production Services, Inc. [[CPX]] and Hercules Offshore, Inc. [[HERO]] holdings, while initiating new positions in a variety of names. For the love of greasy hamburgers, Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] might make a run here too! On second thought, let’s not talk about FTK, it’s too painful.

In summary, the market is going higher and you got caught flat footed, yet again. I will be reducing my large cash position, down to about 30%, with the sincere hopes of sending several million bearshitters to their makers (not real death. Instead, like some sort of financial God that informs you of pending bankruptcy, or some shit).

Good Day to You

It perplexes me a great deal to read other third rate bloggers bitching about the fame of others. Case in point, there is an ingrate out there, who enjoys the traffic love of iBC via an occasional Woodshedder link, who is talking shit. Now, instead of addressing his babble directly, I would like to offer a different point of view: Who fucking cares?

Seriously, no one gives a fuck and gay goat about your blog, market opinions or moral compass. In the blogosphere, you are either relevant or some retard trying to tie two sticks together. You my friend are a baboon playing with sticks.

In summary, unlike you (pathetic trollop), “The Fly” does not need to link to you, since I am in no need of your pathetic traffic. Take my fucking name out of your mouth and go about your business, boy.

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I will make this short and direct: if I was heavily short stocks here, I’d be fearful of obscene last minute buyers, stepping in here, trying to avoid being stranded on the sidelines. This market has demonstrated, over and over again, it does not want to go lower. Hence, why fight it?

Tomorrow I will allocate some serious coin long. In the meantime, keep an eye out for a late night post, on PPT, outlining my new hurricane watchlist.

My man Chart Addict banks coin, with or without charts. He knows how to pick them and he demonstrates his superior market hand every-fucking-day. But, what’s with all of you other fuckers? I mean, when I started out in the biz, there was plenty of people around who actually read quarterly reports and paid attention to fundamentals. Fast forward a dozen years and everyone has charts for brains.

You Sir have a clunker for a brain.

Let’s look at a near term catalyst: hurricane season.

Sometime tonight, I will build a custom watchlist, listing all of my hurricane plays, exclusive for The PPT. For you fuckers, I will tell you, look to get long some refiners, like Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Holly Corporation [[HOC]] , Valero Energy Corporation [[VLO]] or Delek US Holdings, Inc. [[DK]] . And, try your hand with some depressed natty stocks, like NGAS Resources, Inc. [[NGAS]] , Arena Resources, Inc. [[ARD]] and Ultra Petroleum Corp. [[UPL]] . Engineering stocks, like The Shaw Group Inc. [[SGR]] and [[PIKE]] , are worth a looksy too, providing the “Deacons of Death” destroy a few bullshit coastal cities.

In short, shut the fuck up and prepare for some ‘Canes. Lucky for me, I have my very own meteorologist; what do you have?

Exactly.

I bought 2,000 Complete Production Services, Inc. [[CPX]] @ $8.58, 3,000 Hercules Offshore, Inc. [[HERO]] @ $4.57 and 10,000 Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] @ $13.20.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, your local Chinese restaurant will begin spitting in your food. And, you may lose money.

A great man once said: “When in doubt, go eat a sandwich.” Those magical words still hold true today, despite all the advances in modern technology.

You need to exhibit patience, while attempting to become a “space alien magician.” There will be lots of pops and drops, most of which will be headfakes—designed to bankrupt you and steal your wife and kids. With the market up this morning, I intend to do the same thing I did yesterday: nothing. While some of the ADD type find this sort of behavior reprehensible, I declare: trading all day long is boring.

Stop having a boring life; stop having a boring tuna.

With a little luck and a lot of dry ice, I am hoping for a “rig-killer” in the Gulf of Mexico this summer. I want to see Geraldo Rivera and Shepherd Smith hanging horizontal, as a “Deacon of Death,” barrels through the region. With that in mind, it’s time for you to get your hurricane game on, starting with a small [[UNG]] position.

At the moment, my top picks are Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , [[ENTR]] and General Cable Corporation [[BGC]]

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The evil, progress minded, bulls were defeated today, amidst heavy selling in the banks and CRE names. The dark forces of Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] , Lloyds TSB Group plc (ADR) [[LYG]] and SL Green Realty Corp. [[SLG]] were tossed into garbage dumps, thanks in large part to more sellers than buyers—a fascinating paradigm.

I am sure the charts spell doom for the retail investor, who inadvertently, are being “nose grabbed” by low-level series 7 hacks.

“The Fly” took a few uppercuts to the scrotum today. However, the damage inflicted upon my “ball sets” was only half as bad as what the 100% long crowd received today. With that in mind, I am the fuck out of here.

Hordes of Armageddon loving misfits are scurrying up and down Wall Street today, in hopes of a near term market top. After all, President O’bama is a communist and America is stupid. Deep down, everyone is rooting for China to conquer the U.S. and enslave all of the fat guys, in order to “solve” the burgeoning unemployment problem. On a very personal level, I’d like to physically detach the entire state of California (save Danny), sending it right into China’s brand new shiny Naval fleet—effectively killing two birds with one stone.

All of the good news, recently bestowed upon your face, will be ripped off soon—like a Brazilian waxing.

Believe you me, there are some stocks going higher, even in today’s tape. However, I am not into that sort of thing. Instead of storing my dough in boring stocks, like PepsiCo, Inc. [[PEP]] or The Coca-Cola Company [[KO]] , I rather hold cash and live to kill another day. If you are interested in some sort of hand holding, during times of duress, you’ve come to the wrong place. Go buy a stuffed animal and eat a chocolate bar in the shower, if you are into that sort of pussified behavior.

So, what are we going to talk about? The market is going lower and I am not shorting stocks. Maybe I can give you fuckers real time updates on the condition of my cash. You know, I can let you bastards know if any of the bills get creased or torn— or update you of any minuscule money market rate changes.

“The Fly” is into that sort of thing, during the latter months of the summer. While sipping, NEVER GUZZLING, on a 50/50 blend of iced-T lemonade, I bowl on you—despite not even being in the bowling alley, if you know what I mean (you most certainly do not).

Go buy yourself a $100 tomato and let me know how your common stock portfolios are doing. I eagerly await rejecting all of your pesky requests!!

Ciao

Don Fly