Prepare For Unprecedented Times

A final word on the non-important topic of people with opposable thumbs versus those with a medulla oblongata.

On a separate note, I am split between my conspiracy theories of the Fed orchestrating “forced demand” for treasuries and the obvious printing of “magic money.” I realize there is no middle ground and only one side will win. Despite the amount of money being tossed into flaming barrels of garbage, I cannot help but to think about the pending treasury auctions and how they will be received, 1 to 3 years out.

For the moment, I like cash and/or a pair trade between [[TLT]] and [[GLD]] . I just haven’t discovered the appropriate balance yet.

UPDATE: Over the weekend, I learned all there is to know about technical analysis. Enjoy the fruits of my labor.

[[TLT]]

Despite today’s non-reaction, I believe the Fed is trying to funnel us fuckers into Treasuries, via shaking up the equity markets. Let’s be serious: there is no real inflation. The economy is still bleeding out jobs and most of the commodity push can be attributed to dollar weakness. The Fed wants you to sell stocks and roll into [[TLT]] . Let’s see how that pans out, over the next few weeks. With my money, I will chill the fuck out and wait for my kills. I sold a little more today, upping my cash position to 53%. I don’t have an interest to go short, just yet. However, I am intrigued by a [[TLT]] -gold pair trade.

Eat well and drink profusely.

UPDATE: New Wall Street 2 Trailer

I sold out 25% of my Nucor Corporation [[NUE]] position, north of $44.70 and all of my Petroleo Brasileiro SA (ADR) [[PBR]] , north of $42.70.

Real trading, son. No training wheels.

Nothing keeps a fishy market down is today’s lesson. After all, the market is not real anyway. It’s all Alice in Wonderland bullshit, buoyed by men in black suits and thick mustaches. Nevertheless, I remain 50% “all in.”

It appears Schlumberger Limited [[SLB]] will acquire Smith International, Inc. [[SII]] for a nice little premium. On any dip, I am long the oil and gas equipment space in size. Now, I won’t be in said names for .13 cents or a little more than 5 minutes. I will be long said names until winship is abundantly clear, sort of like how I rolled with Sears Holdings Corporation [[SHLD]] , Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] , Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] etc. The list, mind you, goes on and on and on. Weatherford International Ltd. [[WFT]] is at the top of my buy list.

Which brings me to the important topic of day trading. If you thought technical analysis was reserved for mentally handicapped people, well then, day trading is the exclusive practice of lemon wedge creators aka “the bottom of the proverbial investor barrel.” Back in the old days, when I was trying to find out who I was as an investor (crying profusely), I’d buy and sell stocks on an intra-day basis, hoping to make something out of myself. I’d leverage my account to the hilt and go long XYZ @ $30, then quickly blow the fuck out @ $30.13, as if I had a gorilla brain. As time went by, I realized “hey, what the fuck! I am spinning my wheels.” Shortly thereafter, I became hellbent focused on dispatching my enemies, via short squeezes, all thanks and praise to the fire in my gut and the blackness of my heart.

In short, the market is fishy and I want no part of it, at the moment. I am not missing out “per se,” since I am “half in.” Let the news permeate the small minds of the gorilla brained public, prior to making large investments.

After the bell, the Fed “Pearl Harbored” the market, raising the discount rate to 0.75%.

Yesterday, the IMF announced they will sell gold.

What does the conspiracy theorist in me think?

They are trying to devalue the euro versus the dollar, in order to lessen their (PIGS) debt burden. By strengthening the dollar, equity markets will struggle, funneling investors into Treasuries.

As the Chinese pull out of Treasury investments, U.S. asset managers plow in, filling the void.

A win-win for Government motherfuckers. Indeud.

Never doubt the power of the hybrid. Ever.

So, let me get this straight. The government owns GM and NOW Toyota Motor Corporation (ADR) [[TM]] makes shitty cars? What an odd coincidence. Hmm, I wonder if this is some sort of nefarious government plot, to trick people into buying their piece of shit cars? Either way, I rather die in a foreign car, than live in an American one.

Keep your eyes on Bucyrus International, Inc. [[BUCY]] going into earnings. They are a great tell on Chinese economic growth. Judging by the recent news out of AK Steel Holding Corporation [[AKS]] , pointing towards a 4% inventory build, my guess, Bucyrus International, Inc. [[BUCY]] blows the fucking barnyard doors off estimates.

Due to my over-sized cash position, I only made 1% today. How sad. However, the good news, I am virtually stress free at work now. If I wanted to, I could order 100 paid pizzas and send them to Howard Lindzon’s office. Or, I could partake in a number of other clever rouses, concocted by men with deep pockets and boring lives. One thing is for sure, it will take a lot of will power to keep this investment cowardice going into next week.

As I wait for the dip, I will roam my office, dressed in full Teutonic Knight armor, while slamming battle axes on the desks of pikers.

Top picks: Nucor Corporation [[NUE]] , Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]]

After all of my selling, Nucor Corporation [[NUE]] is my biggest position left standing, followed by Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] . It is killing me, just sitting here watching shit fly off the shelves. I am tempted to go “full retard” long this market, while drinking Monster Energy soda out of diamond encrusted chalices—kicking old men in wheelchairs down idle elevator shafts. However, I have a plan and must stick to it, else I am nothing more than a “Think or Sink” investor.

Swiss Francs are oversold, via [[FXF]] . I don’t give a shit how much those Swiss fuckers sell. That currency is due for a bounce.

Oil is looking dreamy. My largest position in the space is Petroleo Brasileiro SA (ADR) [[PBR]] .

For the year, I am up a little more than 8%. My goal is to return 20%, year in, year out. It’s important to remember, we’re in February, assholes. Relax, chill the fuck out and go eat a bag of pork rinds.

UPDATE: Bull vs. Bears

Do you realize how stupid you sound? Stupid lines on charts do not dictate the destiny of global markets, fuckface. Imaginary resistance levels of  “1,100” are nothing more than mere coincidences in a broader fundamental story. I hear a lot of funny shit on these here internets. I especially like when people say “if we break 950 on the S&P, we will retest the March of 2009 lows.” WTF, LOL!!!

You fucking birdbrains go on the teevee with this bullshit and spew it as if it was fact. Now that’s what I call balls.

See folks, charts are nothing more than crutches to make people feel better or more secure about themselves, not so much different than religion. If some of you ham and eggers did not have technical analysis to cling onto, well, you would be lost and sad. Wall Street does not want sad investors. We want happy people, so that you can invest more money, with huffy-puffy chests and testosterone riddled brains.

No offense (of course) to some of you leaf blowers who are “experts” on technical analysis. You might even be good at gaming this market. But rest assured, it has NOTHING to do with charts.

Being that the market is all about automated bullshit these days, I have taken it upon myself to hack into the fucking robots who buy and sell stocks, via a product known as The PPT. You may or may not be familiar. Just know and understand, this shit is light years ahead of what you are doing with your lives. Once I get finished with 2.0, I will offer 1-2 day free trials, so that you may see for yourself whatever the hell I am talking about.

To answer your questions: No, I do not feel bad about selling Corinthian Colleges, Inc. [[COCO]] yesterday. I sold stocks in order to clean slate my portfolios, so that I may prep for new ones. I have wheels turning in my head, at all times. Never forget that.

Despite the IMF selling gold, I still like Gammon Gold, Inc. [[GRS]] .  And, as a matter of fact, I like U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] down here too. My top industrial/commodity picks are Nucor Corporation [[NUE]] , POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] and Petroleo Brasileiro SA (ADR) [[PBR]] .

Be well.

I made reference to one energy name on The PPT today, with unique seasonality trends. Here is another.

QUALCOMM, Inc. [[QCOM]]

The PPT‘s Overall Hybrid Score, as of yesterday’s close.

NOTE: I am 50% cash into the bell and it’s killing me.