FRANCE SUCKS

Those bozos were down 1.6% today; and we barely down-ticked.

Life is good as an American, unless  your name is Andrew Breitbart or the coroner who investigated his cause of death. Things here have a certain way about them, always to the good, for the benefit of, nothing to do with you.

Municipalities need to support their pension funds and large corporations have under-funded pensions in the billions. Because of these two factors, we all get a free ride, with regards to government intervention in markets. Google “executive order 12631.”

Apple got the shit kicked out of it today, down sharply since earnings. More specifically, down sharply since I went long. No worries, as it constitutes less than 1% of my assets. Apple could go to zero and I’d still stir the milk into my tea the same fucking way.

You know me, heavily long YELP into earnings, playing with my WNR ahead of a big quarter. The rest of my assets are lodged in high dividend payers. Companies like GIS, KMB and WM. At the present, I have a curious blend of aggressive/conservative investments. Naturally I believe it will result in my betterment.

Bottom line: today’s sell off was bullshit. Prepare the horses for a journey, towing the COCAINE CHUCK WAGON to the edge of the cliff, AND MORE.

BREAKING: NINTH FUCKING SYMPHONY (GLASS!)

I sold out of my EXK position for a 10% win, booked on just a one week hold. My right hand man, ChessnWine, was buying MNST last week and had members of 12631 get in. Yeah, fuck with us.

At any rate, I am continuing the path set forth a week ago, embedding myself in “grandpa stocks,” as it is my custom to do so. Through habit and good form, I’ve always felt it was my right to trail-blaze a path for the less cerebrally fortunate. As such, I am here to tell you the money you are looking for is in fact hidden in catacombs, guarded by men in wheeled chairs.

These people know me very well and welcome me into their world. After selling my EXK position, I got a tip from a 120 year old man, who said, and I quote “ABV is paying a nice little dividend and everyone in Europe is drunk and stupid.” He then started beating his orderly with his oak cane. But let’s not get into that right now. So I bought a little ABV, on this dip right here.

Just like my EXK purchase, solely based upon the OVERSOLD readings in The PPT; ABV is being flagged as OS in our 3 mo algo.

Look, I am facing a rather large battle this week, one that can make or break my year: YELP earnings.  I have 30% of my assets locked away in YELP, fully exposed to the caprices of their eccentric, but sharp, CEO: STOPPELMAN.

For the day, thus far, I am up 1.1%.

Energy Transfer Partners is buying SUN for over $50 per share. Let me explain to you how this works.

SUN is the biggest piece of shit company on the planet. However, due to the lack of refineries in this once proud nation, their assets are worth more than $5 billion to Energy Transfer Partners. Because you have the brains of small children/dogs, I will walk you through the process of making money in this sector. As you know by now, Carl “give me three seats on your fucking board” Icahn is trying to acquire CVI. God only knows what Carl will do with CVI if they actually sell to him. At this stage, I believe Carl suffers from dementia. However, there are other players involved in CVI.

THE WAGONS ARE CIRCLING AROUND THE REFINERS.

As you recall, even DAL was interested in buying some refineries to offset the insane price of jet fuel.

THIS ALL LEADS BACK TO THE WNR.

Sure, there are other well managed refiners, like HFC and DK. But none of them offer the allure of a leveraged bet on crack spreads like WNR. With SAC capital and Appaloosa involved in the name, I like to believe there is ample support, a bid if you will, for the shares of WNR. Now the company is slated to report earnings this week, so don’t get all overzealous and shit with any buys. But this is where the money in the oil sector is being made. Fuck all of your wells and equipment companies. I am taking money directly out of the pockets of joy riding Americans and placing it into my coffers, via WNR.

As an aside, the MSFT deal with BKS will serve to teach short sellers a variety of life lessons today. With futures soft and Europe down, look for modest profit taking this morning. Nonetheless, defensive stocks should offer safe haven.

There has been a lot of debate about whether housing has bottomed or not. From first hand experience, shopping for homes in NJ, I can tell you, emphatically, that prime real estate is in feverish demand. Literally, quality homes are being sold within 2 weeks of listing, if that long. For the house that I purchased, I actually paid at a premium, setting a new benchmark for the area.

About a month ago, USG announced their price hikes for sheet rock was accepted and absorbed by customers, sending the shares soaring. Then the market softened and housing stocks traded down. But in the big scheme of things, they have been greatly outperforming the SPY for more than a year.

Here is proof.

Using The PPT‘s correlation tool, still in BETA, here is the raw data for residential construction and the spread versus SPY, over a number of time frames.

As you can see, residential construction stocks have outperformed during ALL timeframes.

Here are the stocks that populate the homie index.

I recently got shaken out of cabinet maker MAS. But there are other plays still worth exploring, aside from the obvious listed above.

Lumber stocks, like LL and LPX, are interesting. USG and other material plays like VMC, RPM, BECN, MLM, EXP, TREX, CX and PATK have my interest. And, there are a variety of retail oriented stocks on my radar, particularly BBBY, PIR, FBHS, BLDR, ETH and VAL.

If indeed housing truly makes a comeback, I could see internet related names, like RATE, Z and ANGI, ripping tits to the upside. For the most part, the data isn’t there to support these moves. However, sometimes the market knows the future.

This is my final post for the day. I want you to stop attributing this run to end of month mark ups. You are being childish. Small pleb, the market is straight up for 6 months, with very little deviation from the primary trend.

There are drawdowns and not every sector is lighting faces aflame. Generally speaking, we’re in a fucking bull market and you’re gonna have to deal with that reality sooner or later.

The news is so bad, so disastrous, investors are Constanza trading with blinders on just to make themselves feel normal about life again. It’s hard to accept the fact that Spain is in the deeper depression than Kansas, circa 1930. Nevertheless, companies are banking extreme coin, leeching off slave labor camps in Asia, namely FOXCONN.

Labor is cheap. Natural gas energy is free and liquidity is plentiful.

Ninety percent of Americans have a job. But that doesn’t mean shit. The wealth in this country has been consolidated, readily found in the coffers of people, such as myself, for the benefit of society as a whole. We (1%er’s) are better stewards of American currency, than the factory union hack in 0hio.

It’s time to embrace the newest economy.

Everything is connected through Twitter/Facebook/Tripadvisor/Yelp/Pinterest, on a global scale. These venues will drive commerce like nothing you’ve ever seen before. Gone are the days when “The Fly” relegated his dining choices to some homo-hammer at Zagat. These days my choices are done local, via GPS, right on my fucking phone, provided by real people (no homo-hammer).YELP MOTHERFUCKERS! Twitter lets me know the news before the news knows the news. And Facebook gives me updates on the pathetic lives of some of my old friends, who are now fucktards, living the slow life, blue collared up like a janitor’s ass.

ANGI is interesting to me because contractors are scum bags. Angie’s List provides detailed reviews from real people who pay for membership. The fee is super cheap, like $20 per year, so it’s not punitive. But it keeps the riff-raff out and ensures the reviews are legit. It’s the Costco of home improvement review sites. Should housing gain traction, ANGI will double in share price, maybe more.

Finally, TRIP is running hard based off its parent co EXPE smashing estimates. Maybe OWW is worth a look? Unsure. But I do know TRIP is a long term hold, a future grandpa stock. NXPI smashed numbers last night, being a key provider to the iPhone and future enabler of the “digital wallet.” Learn up, son.

Eat and drink well– then prosper.

I added to AAPL and started a new position in P.

I decided to get aggressive with the new design. Jeremy and I are going to revolutionize the blog game, yet again, through meritocracy and totem pole hierarchy. Without revealing too much too soon, I will tell you that you are all being examined. What you do on the site, from checking in to commenting to retweeting or posting to Facebook to posting a blog in the blogger network, it is all being accounted for and rank (think corporate ladder) will be assigned to each of you.

This goes for staff writers too.

There will be no bottom to the new iBC. And, yes, there will be a prison, with listed names of outlawed criminals.

The iBC Tower aka Totem pole will rank all of you, according to the things I mentioned above. To climb this ladder, you must be an active member of the community and earn iBC Reserve notes (every action pays at a different rate). Moreover, you will have expenses, such as small tenement dwellings for lowly cretins or penthouse apartments overlooking Central Park for some of you aristocrats. In a way, it’s the gamification of iBankCoin. However, always keep in mind, this shit isn’t a game (even though it really is).

FORECLOSURE NOTICES WILL BE EMAILED WHEN YOU ARE NO LONGER ABLE TO HOLD YOUR POSITION IN THE TOWER.

Regarding content, everything is created equal, with exception to me and the boys from 12631. The site’s core focus will be on freshness and efficacy of content. This also means I will be scrutinizing content deriving from the bowels of the blogger network and will fire you for lack of style and intelligence.

Chronological order will be restored.

The obvious winners will be the people who truly want to make a name for themselves. I am allowing you to be featured on a platform, like none other in the financial blogosphere, so don’t abuse it.

NOTE: Bloggers in the blogging network will also be afforded the luxury of being able to choose front page pictures.

This chart will be auctioned at Sotheby’s this spring.

Starting bid: $500,000

Spain reported an unemployment rate of “only” 24.4%. On that news, as well as the S&P downgrade of its debt, European markets splashed into the swimming pool and sank lower by 2%. However, miraculously, shares reversed and are now trouncing higher. US futures were down 10 and now they’re up.

UNSTOPPABLE MOMENTUM.

I think it’s fair to say the market is on its way to new highs, regardless of news and views. Earnings are winning the hearts and minds of investors and people like the idea that central banks will simply flood the system with counterfeit money, instead of policy makers attempting to remedy the core issues. I believe we are somewhat resigned to the fact that there is nothing any politician can do to erase our $15 trillion dollars in debt. Therefore, we might as well party now; because there’s gonna be a whole lot of pain later.

END OF DAYS RALLY.

With my money, I like YELP, EXK and NXPI.

These stocks were flagged Technically OB today, using our 12 month algos for a 10 day hold.