Coinbase Shenanigans; Closing Out the Month in Style

What exactly happened at Coinbase this afternoon? All of a sudden, as $BTC crested above $64,000 — the entire platform went offline — showing ZERO balances for customers. When things got “back to normal”, the coin tumbled to under $60,000.

Naturally, I am suspicious of this — especially since living through the Robinhood-Gamestop debacle — where the broker at the behest of Citadel REMOVED the fucking buy option for $GME — leading to a collapse of the shares.

I traded poorly today and finished with some $TZA and $SOXS to augment a portfolio of low beta stocks. My risk is very low because I have very little interest into risking too much into the final day of trade.

My MTD returns for my accounts are as follows:

You may not believe it and you may not like it — but I will make 100% this year.

There are few certainties in life.

Democrats are mostly criminals, including the ordinary citizens who abet them.

Republicans will whore themselves out for any vote and are mostly comprised of sexual deviants who are under threat of blackmail.

$BTC is going to $70,000

Any questions?

I can hear the peanut gallery shuffle with indignation as I write this. That’s a 15% move from here. I have been telling you to buy $BTC since mid $20,000s and yet there are some of you still, in 2024, beholden to the dollar because the Federal Reserve and Jamie Dimon said so.

I have news for you, fucked faces, break out of your boomer brainwashing and see the world for what it is: an absolute mess.

I always like to see the Bitcoin haters squirm as they attempt to convince others why it’s so bad. They’ll delve on about how we are all being tricked and fooled, cajoled even, into an even worse situation than the dollar and how $BTC is just another government scheme to control you. It’s like you’re retarded, know it, and still pretend to be normal.

This entire edifice of LGTBQ governance is predicated on the US dollar being printed AD HOC, and people in S American and Africa converting their shit currencies into it so that the inflationary aspects printing money could be negated. It’s another form of colonialism, the worst kind of colonialism — since we get all of the benefits of their labor without ever having to lift a finger to help them. The dollar supremacy is the eye of Sauron for the GLOBOHOMO. If you can break it — you can be free. If not, you will continue to live under its yoke.

I was so happy after the close last night when $LUNR jimmied higher by 5% in the early after hours session. I went online into Stocklabs and talked shit, boasted about my psychic powers and then told everyone to fuck off. I thought I was the shit.

Then by the time I went to the gym, the stock went back to flat. But that then, $BTC was going up and I had some $CIFR to assuage me and I felt really good about it.

Fast forward to today — futures MCPLUNGED lower and $LUNR cascaded at the open down as much as 10%. Irate about the whole ordeal and how I didn’t even believe we went to the moon anyway, I waited for a small uptick to -7.5% and then sold.

Shortly thereafter the stock rocketed to green and now it just sits there with its stupid face mocking me.

Instead of racing to the moon and popping champagne corks into the faces of friends and family, I’m bogged down for 60bps. I made a brief foray into the down 20s but really it just seems I’m doomed for a little pulling back. In the big scheme of things, these things happen.

I really hate to have to do it — but it’s better it be me than them. I will personally skin alive the shorts and then toss them into open vats of fire, pure fire, in order to purify them before they go to heaven. I am sure the bears will go to heaven — because they mean well and only want the corrupt and the transgendered bulls to be punished with the force of the earth and the seas.

I angrily closed +46bps, after a brief unfortunate sojourn with the fucking moon, vis a vie $LUNR. I lost some money in it on a trade and it capstoned my returns for the session — forcing me to claw my way back up to a sowmewhat respectable gain. I have just 10% cash into tomorrow and I bought $LUNR back — because fuck the moon and all of the rovers attempting to ride on top of it. ALL ROVERS henceforth will be capsized and tipped over by invisible hands or ghosts. HOWEVER, I will make money in this fucking $LUNR tomorrow.

Everything else is pleasant. My health is very fine and my mood is most excellent.

Good day.

By the looks of the indices, you’d think today was a moribund day, with the Dow off by 150, S&P flat and NASDAQ barely up. But beneath the veneer of a subtle tape is risk of a ribald nature — all taking place in smaller capped piece of shit stocks.

Inside Stocklabs, the pennies are +1.5%, whilst the tera caps are flat. The chasm has finally favored the smalls and this is bringing out all of the degenerates to swing from their branches again, naked and with bananas in tow, in search for more bananas.

Heavily shorted stocks are +4.3%, followed by life sciences +3% and overall High Beta stocks are leading the way +2.5%.

I am being cautious, +42bps with a hedged portfolios. My hedges are short semis and the NASDAQ against some small capped stocks. In my experience, the final salvo of all rallies occurs during risk on of this nature. That doesn’t mean the rally will end today but it’s going to end soon.

You just sit there and watch!

Hopefully this blog jinxes the market and causes a really bad crash. I don’t think stocks will ever truly trade down again. I keep waiting and hoping for it and preparing for it but it never comes.

Into today I was ready, mostly cash with a short etf, eager to see the blood flowing heavily and yet nothing happened but more upside.

I was forced, mind you, to sell the etf and buy a bunch of degenerate stocks. I didn’t want to do it — but I’m duty bound and had no choice.

One thing of note is $IRBT – a spectacular miss and the company has been complete shit since the Amazon deal fell thru. The product is fantastic but the revenues keep collapsing. I only mention this because I own some in my strategic longer term account and will likely add to it tomorrow. There are a few turn around plays I like, one is $IRBT, the other is $WBA.

With Walgreens, I think people have PTSD about the place after killing so many people with their COVID-19 shots. But once people get over that and black people stop looting everything in the stores, we might have a nice bottom in place here. Revenues are strong but the looting is causing some issues, if I don’t say so myself.

All fixable problems.

Old sport —

We’ve had a good run but it’s ending soon. You can tell by the quality of stocks bugging higher today, some of the lowest brow stocks in the market, if not rock bottom. This is what happens when the plebeian class scurries back into the fray, hoping for potentialities — a brief sojourn with the mortgage money to take advantage of all of the grandiose splendour. But this is where the line ends and all those still on the train CRASH into the fucking wall and the car compressed like an accordion into the steel shards, impaling those inside with their mortgage money in an exercise in Darwinism.

I closed at SESSION HIGHS +57bps, with 87% cash and $TZA/$ILMN positions — fully content with my 10.1% YTD returns — carefully ebbing through the market as if walking in a minefield.

What are you bitches going to do about it? $BTC is above $54,000, $ETH above 3,100 — and you’re there with dick in hand wondering when it’s going to collapse. You’re sitting there hating on Elon Musk, Bitcoin, and AI — portfolios in tow OFF by 305% for the session. Don’t you know markets don’t care about your feelings? Don’t you know you’re a dumb son of a bitch?

I’m trading in a somewhat genteel manner, albeit tempted by the risk on today. There are two tapes today: one of the ribald nature and the other risk off — mostly amongst lower beta stocks. One could make the case that today is a perfectly fine bull market session. Not every day is marked or marred by tragic tragedies and looming collapses. Maybe, just maybe, we drift higher.

I’m +44bps, 75% cash, seriously contemplating the close to come.

Markets look good on the surface, with exception to the drop in copper. Breadth is middling and cryptos are flying. Hell, $BTC is at $53,000 en route to $100,000.

Everything seems great, which is EXACTLY why I’m suspect as fuck here.

I own stocks but I also own $TZA and will not relent on the idea that a leg lower looms. Markets simply don’t go up forever, making everyone happy. Some of you need to cry in order for this to all work.

That being said, I don’t want you to cry and would prefer you lived happily ever after. But the laws of the market dictate zero sum.

Up 20bps early going, side eying the tape and on the lookout for collapses.

I’m done with my bulking regimen for now, as I’ve gained 6 pounds in about a month. I had gotten too gaunt and weak after losing a rapid 16 pounds in what I considered to be my “Oppenheimer diet” which consisted on very little food and never any booze. I do think, now with time to reflect, this diet was deleterious to my health and have been in a weakened state since then. Once I began to consume 3000+ calories per day, my energy skyrocketed and my strength at the gym exploded.

I’ll now do a maintenance diet for a few months until I achieve some additional goals at the gym.

Soon I’ll be heading out to the yard for add 1.5inches of top soil, peat moss, and compost to my lawn, followed by some seeding. I do enjoy to get my hands dirty in the yard and Mrs. Fly and I pride ourselves on trying and failing each and every year to grow our own fruit and vegetables.

I just completed a laundry room project with Mrs. Fly, where we laid down some tiles, board and batten on the walls, some custom shelves, and paint. I hated the idea of doing this — because I viewed it, prematurely, as a waste of my time. But once I caved and applied myself, it was rather enjoyable and the outcome better than any contractor fucker I might’ve hired in my stead.

I don’t drink often, maybe once per week or every other week. Generally we’ll open a bottle of wine — but on occasion I’ll make some cocktails — since I like doing it. I’ve been looking into BATCH making cocktails. One example of that would be 2 parts vodka or gin (I prefer gin), 1 part vermouth plus 15-20% water to compensate for dilution and then storing this martini mixture into the freezer for rapid consumption. Gone are the days of having to mix them up and place in a shaker and serve. You can quite literally be an alcoholic very conveniently.

On the issue of cocktails, I think the key to some unique drinks is to infuse your simple syrup with flavors, such as cooking it with rosemary or pears or mint. My favorite cocktails include: Dirty Martinis, Gin Fizz, Gimlets, French Martinis, Hemingway Daiquiri, Mojito, Manhattans, and Vodka sour.

On the topic of books, I’ve been reading the Chernow biography on Washington — who was a lunatic of the first order. I will not slander our first President, so therefore say nothing more. I’m also still reading The Cossacks by Tolstoy and on occasion some Kant. I’ve been slow with my reading because in my spare time I’ve been learning to code — first C and now Python.

Learning to code isn’t hard — it’s a matter of remembering the language and understanding the syntax. However, it is a slow process to convert cursory knowledge into practicable action.

My preferred music is always classical and/or big band jazz or jazz ranging from the 20s into the 60s. I never listen to rap and on occasion will delve into country or even EDM — but never rap — since it is degenerate and I’d rather not expose myself to it.

Lastly, my torn ACL is all but healed, which occurred about 9 months ago in a pickle ball excursion. I will never play that god forsaken sport again and instead revert back to tennis. Speaking of which, I’m excited to start hitting some balls soon, as the weather here is a pleasant 55 degrees.

Aside from trading, tweeting, and conversing inside Stocklabs every day, that’s what I’ve been up to.

CIAO.

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