iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,471 Blog Posts

My Experience with Twitter Ads

It’s super horseshit.

One of my guys had scheduled tweets via the Twitter business account and Twitter took exception to it and offered us the ban hammer.

banned

To mitigate this bullshit, I started to use my personal Twitter account to advertise on behalf of our corporate one. Pretty fucking stupid, huh?

A few days after I started to advertise, a rep contacted me to see how things were going. I told her that my corporate account had been banned from advertising and wanted to know how to get it lifted.
email1

As you can see, I was quite courteous. After all, I thought it was retarded that I had to work around a ban on our corporate account, without cause.

email2

Not only was Twitter useless to help me form campaigns– to take full advantage of the platform (I’ll get to that in a minute)– but they were unable to help me understand a major concern of mine, like being fucking BANNED. That’s what you call bad customer service.

So, without her help, I muddled away with a small campaign of $500, just to see what it could produce. First of all, finance is banned on Twitter. You must be thinking “naturally, why would Twitter want to permit people promoting their stock tips on their platform?” I agree. However, look at three of the ads that I placed that were reviewed and restricted, without explanation.

ban2

ban3

ban4

Why the fuck were those ads restricted?

After a few of my promotional tweets went out, immediately, I became concerned due to the level of engagement being too high. After inspection, I found that I was quite popular in Mongolia, Turkey, as well as several non-english speaking African nations.
locale

I checked on the accounts that began to follow me and found they were bots, fake accounts with zero activity. I know Twitter claims to have 300 million people signed up. That’s complete and utter bullshit. I’d be surprised if they had 1/3rd of that.

Before placing filters on my campaign, I was acquiring followers for 10 fucking cents. That shit was cheap. After my filters, looking for finance folk, the cost skyrocketed to $2.50 per name. Who the fuck is going to pay $2.50 per follow?
Twitter

All in all, the current structure and customer service of Twitter Ads is completely inept and without decorum. I do think there is potential, especially if they assigned reps to help me spend my money. I was more than willing to spend 5x the amount for this campaign, but became frustrated; and as a result, I throttled the budget.

We tried one last time to appeal to the @dick handlers at Twitter, to better try to understand why our good name was being banned from advertising on their glorious, fucktarded, platform.

This was their flippant response.
ibc

I am long TWTR. I sold the bulk near $30, but still own some for the long term. Get your shit together @Jack.

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25 comments

  1. UncleBuccs

    https://support.twitter.com/articles/20170424 iBankCoin is well known about the interwebs as a celebrated collection of pipe smoking gentlemen. Maybe the murder mystery man messed things up for you?

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  2. it is showtime

    I have to say — BANNED

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  3. vandamme

    Lol – can you link me to the blog post where DICK resigned?

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  4. RampCapitalLLC

    I think Noto deserves another couple hundred thousand shares.

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  5. it is showtime

    That is a confounding but truly uproarious account ([noun] narration or exposition), chap. So fucking stoopid. Pass the humidor

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  6. Marc David

    Your experience is similar to mine with Google. I’ve been banned from Adwords for 4 years.

    Had an approved product in my account that wasn’t active for a year. One morning I wake up, I’m banned from using AdWords for ads against policy.

    Explained it was approved by them a year ago, it wasn’t running and hadn’t run for a year.

    Didn’t matter. Once it was flagged, that’s it. You’re out. Period.

    Explained my case twice, same scripted responses. I asked to speak to a manger, whoever on the other end flat out said no.

    So that’s that. Banned from AdWords and there is no recourse period. And I wasn’t even advertising to boot.

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  7. ironbird

    What does this say about the ultimate scam of the day $FB. Bots and unemployed retards do not buy much. Wild guess?

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  8. billiejones

    HAHAHAHAHA, another outstanding post Dr. Fly. You are truly gifted.

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  9. eddiedaroza

    I recently went to a presentation at Twitter where they pitched this to the audience and I was actually embarrassed for the staffers. It was tragic. They had free margaritas though.

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  10. frog

    “After inspection, I found that I was quite popular in Mongolia, Turkey, as well as several non-english speaking African nations.”

    ROFLMAO.

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  11. goodgreed

    This is fucking absurd.

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  12. halfbloodpope

    Do you need new followers to pay Jeff Macke’s shitty cartoons?

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  13. t.c.

    The Mongolia thing is gold. Expanding to emerging market so soon. Twitter sucking egg on this one.

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  14. gravestonedoji

    TWTR and Faceberg are yet more proof that the war was lost after the introduction of the web browser, allowing all sorts of Mongos to interface online.

    I heard some Mongoloid on Fast Money tonight, talking about how Tweety is planning something diabolical to increase ad presence to their 700 Million offline accounts (read: the reserve Bot army). Its all a fraud that makes Chiner GDP look real in comparison.

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  15. chuck bennett

    @halfbloodpope, He is an artist pal, those pieces are priceless. (No homo)

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  16. chuck bennett

    I wrestled Mongols, ate lamb, rode horses and got drunk off their milk. Not to mention made sex to a Mongolian chick in a hurt.

    Great place

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  17. wolfdaddy

    Hey fly- I am working on promoting a fitness platform and was wondering if you had better luck with Facebook. Your Twitter experience is similar to my Adwords experience.

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  18. zephler

    I’ve never used Twitter – I never will – like I give a shit what some fag thinks about some other fag – who fucking cares.

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  19. unrelated

    The IBC site does tend to be somewhat vulgar, which is fine with me, but I can see how the ad reps might have decided that your company was not the typical professional business partner.

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