iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,471 Blog Posts

The City Square is Bustling with Undisclosed Movements

There have been reports from the centre of the city square, right outside the Tontine Coffee shoppe, of an ancient wooden device being rolled into its centre. Eyewitnesses are said to have soiled themselves upon seeing it and most women fainted, straight away.

One worker at the site spoke to an iBankCoin reporter and had this to say: “this thing they have us building is the oddest thing I’ve ever seen. It has a small hole in its centre and the largest and sharpest blade you’ve ever seen. It’s like a giant fucking carrot chopper (audible laughter).”

Residents near Tontine Coffee shoppe have vacated the streets and are holed up tight inside their homes.

Outside of a few far fetched rumors, our reporters on the scene have no idea, whatsoever, whatever the fuck is going on at the square. Officers from the Federal Reserve have ordered all non-employees to vacate the premises until morning.

DEVELOPING…

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9 comments

  1. speerothekid

    the dick guillotine is a government device

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  2. rormilt

    Epic post

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  3. UncleBuccs

    A few home remedies to stop the guillotine-induced bleeding for those soon to be penniless bears that won’t have the coin to visit a clinic: http://bestwebhealth.org/How-To-Effectively-Stop-A-Cut-From-Bleeding.html
    (I’d try the flour before the salt)

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  4. it is showtime

    Rocky: I’m afraid! All right?! You want to hear me say it? You want to break me down? All right, I’m afraid. For the first time in my life, I’m afraid.
    Adrian: I’m afraid too. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid.
    Rocky: There is. For me, there is.
    Adrian: Why? You’re human aren’t you?

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  5. levrage

    I think an ibankcoin reporter should contact Lorena Bobbitt for comment

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  6. bruce keller

    Sum Ting Wong in China

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  7. mx2101

    And here in the Northeast arrives the first brisk chill of the inevitable.

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  8. bruce keller

    Hide yo wife, hide yo kids, I went bullish!

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  9. mrcharlie

    Dr. Fly, what about GERN and ARNA as takeover targets?

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