iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,466 Blog Posts

BREAKING: “The Fly” Has Been Rebuffed and Denied His God Given Rights to Luxury and Decadence

I had my life all planned out. I was going to eat dinner this evening, sporting a bowed necktie with napkin tucked firmly into my shirt to protect against the occasional, accidental spill, dining on the finest of mutton–topped with mint jelly. I was going to drink one of my finer 2005 or 2009 Bordeaux’s–because both years represent the very best vintages in over 300 years. After supper, I was going to retire to my parlour to finish reading a 17th century book (original copy), accompanied by a cup of tea.

Instead of all that, “The fuckhead Fly” is going to eat a hotdog and swig down a hot beer, because to be able to drink a cold one would mean I deserved it somehow. The stars and every planet in our galaxy have moved against me, cursing me to the dungeons of mediocrity. My enemies are laughing at me in stentorian tones, poking fun at “The Once Great Fly” while DMing some homosexual retards on Stocktwits.

You are permitted to scold me now–because I intend to scald you later. Being long a checking account known as VHC and the very worst silver stock on the planet (EXK) was not enough for yours truly. I had to fire a pistol and make sure that the gunpowder exploded in my face. Aside from all of that, life is a peach and I hate every single one of you.

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54 comments

  1. pouncencapture

    This kinda looks like an ascending wedge to me (SWHC):

    http://screencast.com/t/DQKZ9QDX3wy

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    • The Fly

      Wedge your face.

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      • Dynomite

        Save the melancholy, Fly. Things will get better.

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      • No One

        This market is about to shit on all your faces. Do you think AAPL will go down so peacefully?
        Christmas has been cacelled.

        Yours truly

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        • The Real Muppet

          The market will only go up from here. I was informed of this by a very mean looking dentist, but it is certain. He said the democrats and republicans will come to a deal, the Fed will ease, Christmas will be splended, and there will be no face shitting this year. Absolutely no face shitting.

          Very very truly your,
          The Real Muppet

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          • Genghis Con

            Don’t tap the glass bro. This is the Fly’s fish tank not yours.

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    • No One

      That’s called “Flying wedge to your face” chart pattern.

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    • Markus R

      SWHC has a limp cock formation written all over it (misfired)

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  2. jimmy_two_times

    that VHC pig better move next week. lack of upside pressure is un-nerving. Fook me !

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  3. acehood

    “moors of mediocrity”

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  4. paranoid schizo

    If I were the Bernank and needed to “manage” pleb perceptions, what would I want to manage?
    Well, I’d want keep 1) gas prices somewhat reasonable. If those prices take off Joey bag-o-dougnuts will get upset. 2) job numbers 3) inflation numbers 4) interest rates 5) gold & silver prices – if they rocket higher, again people will worry.
    And finally gun stocks. If you think Ben would not fuck with lowly SWHC, think again.
    Yes, this scam is rigged.

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  5. charlie

    Hot dogs aren’t so bad. I lived like a rat in a discarded can of kernel corn in the days following the Zales earnings.

    Then a vision came to me. Bricks of freshly minted c-notes materializing in the accounts of silver and $VHC bulls.

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  6. The Real Muppet

    Keep you head up. The Real Muppet likes the Fly. Especially your avatar. That is one mean looking dentist.

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  7. The_Real_Hmmm

    Remove the 17th century black powder rifle from the fireplace mantle, split the wooden stock over your servant’s skull, and discard it in the crackling fire. After all, who gives a fuck if it’s still loaded and where it discharges.

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  8. Marc David

    “I hate every single one of you”

    No exceptions?

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  9. Language Dork

    Best-written post in weeks and my favourite (sic)–the Senator would be proud.

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  10. ruggyup

    Tough Shit

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  11. The Eye_Talian Stallion
    The Eye_Talian Stallion

    All that has to happen is for the 0 to make good on his promise to ban the sales of “Saturday Night Specials”, which is a racist code phrase used to describe the types of firearms used by Ghetto Thugs to kill off each other in turf disputes. Then, SWHC can resume the stairway to the stars.

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  12. Jakegint

    Do recall, I recommended AG as “the best single silver stock extant.”

    That said, EXK will be fine.

    “Don’t get mad…. Add!”

    _________

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  13. john colter

    another gem of a post. saved in my, fly’s read only when it’s a shitty day, file. you deserve your mutton & bordeaux as you bear the weight of the markets honorably. proud to be a member of the PPT & 12631.

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  14. TraderCaddy

    I would suggest a Chicago style hot dog and if made properly works well with a hot beer (pretend you are at Wrigley).
    This comes direct from a Fulbright scholar of hot dogs at Hot Dog Univ. He is a PHD (Professor of Hot Dogs).
    1. Start by placing your Hot Dog in the Bun.
    2. Yellow Mustard – Squirt the mustard directly on the Dog from one end to the other.
    3. Relish – Add a generous amount of bright green sweet relish.
    4. Chopped Onions – Place onions on top of the Dog.
    5. Two Tomato Wedges – Place tomatoes along the crevice between the top of the bun and the Hot Dog.
    6. Pickle Spear or Slice – Place pickle in the crevice between the bottom of the bun and the Hot Dog.
    7. Two Sport Peppers – Place 2 sport peppers on top of your Chicago Dog.
    8. Celery Salt – Sprinkle a dash of celery salt over the Dog.

    PLEASE make sure it is a Vienna Beef dog and a poppy seed bun THAT MUST be steamed.
    You are welcome. Eat well.

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    • Beautiful Kitty

      This cat loves your style of a dog.

      Holly Jolly Christmas everyone!

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  15. @gravestonedoji

    Fly was Pearl Harbored today…

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  16. JV

    I told you EXK was ‘ excrete ‘
    -what part of that did you not understand? now go buy a silver gun…

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  17. bottom_feeder

    oh man this is the funniest shit I read all day and a good note to end my shitty week on. Off to the brewery because no matter how bad it gets, no one deserves it warm beer.

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  18. rob T

    I attended a gun show in the Tampa Bay area last weekend. What I observed was truly remarkable: barely any available standing room, rows upon rows of people waiting to purchase firearms at barely-discounted prices, and an average of one case of ammunition (1000 rounds) moving with each gun purchase. Fly’s thesis is sound with SWHC. They make fantastic firearms, though the Austrians and Brazilians are posing some fair competition.

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  19. Raise taxes, Cut spending
    Raise taxes, Cut spending

    Mmmm. A warm refreshing Coors Lite.
    I hate investing in this climate. I could use a bit of normalcy.

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  20. @gravestonedoji

    War is the answer to crushing losses.

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  21. buylo

    I thought you were the Jasper Johns of trading? Maybe cutting off part of your ear will hel[p to bring da focus back. Hows about a short vacation to Tahrir Square to put things in perspective?

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  22. Mhfgarwood

    “What can you say about the fly that has not already been said about Afghanistan …. Bombed out and depleted”

    DC

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  23. 200ma

    What is wrong with VHC..I just got 36 calls yesterday (4 hour)
    http://i1325.photobucket.com/albums/u624/bozeman59/200ma/vhc4hour.png

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  24. JTU

    “The fuckhead Fly” is going to eat a hotdog and swig down a hot beer
    “my enemies are laughing at me”.
    Funny shit!

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  25. JTU

    A Call To Arms-Buy SWHC
    http://greedypicks.com/a-call-to-arms-buy-smith-wesson/

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  26. Mr. King

    Can’t hang your hip hop is lacking

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    • uh hu

      Can’t hang your investment tips are lacking.

      no one’s here for the hip hop

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