America is Still Fat

Despite the recession, people in America are still stuffing their fat faces in record fashion. From apples to zucchini, this country is chockful of languid burger biters, who’d rather frequent their local artery clogging fast food chain than a treadmill.

I have invested in many names, in numerous industries, over the past 6 months. However, ever since receiving a “summer beatdown,” a few years back, long NutriSystem Inc. [[NTRI]] , “The Fly” has not invested alongside upright walking pigs, who regularly ask for “MORE BREAD” at their favorite eatery. Nonetheless, with the economy ROARING BACK (ROFL!), I have decided to burden myself by investing in America’s heart attack production facilities aka restaurants.

My top 5 restaurant stocks are:

Chipotle Mexican Grill, Inc. [[CMG]] Buffalo Wild Wings [[BWLD]] [[MCD]] Panera Bread Company [[PNRA]] Tim Hortons Inc. (USA) [[THI]]

Going with that theme, considering the Kraft Foods Inc. [[KFT]] for Cadbury plc (ADR) [[CBY]] bid, I like Hansen Natural Corporation [[HANS]] and Dr Pepper Snapple Group Inc. [[DPS]] .

My long-shot picks are [[JSDA]] , [[RUTH]] and The Pantry, Inc. [[PTRY]]

The dollar is a piece of shit. Hence, you’d be a moron not to be long commodities, in some form. If gold and silver gives you morning wood, so be it. However, I am into buying commodities that people actually use. Hence, I like to consider myself an oilman.

Via The PPT:

Top 3 Oil & Gas Equipment Service Stocks

Cal Dive International, Inc. [[DVR]] GulfMark Offshore, Inc. [[GLF]] Baker Hughes Incorporated [[BHI]]
Top 3 Independent Oil & Gas Stocks

Stone Energy Corporation [[SGY]] Talisman Energy Inc. (USA) [[TLM]] CNOOC Limited (ADR) [[CEO]]
Top 3 Oil & Gas Refinery Stocks

Murphy Oil Corporation [[MUR]] CVR Energy, Inc. [[CVI]] Holly Corporation [[HOC]]
Top 3 Oil & Gas Pipeline Stocks

Magellan Midstream Partners, L.P. [[MMP]] Genesis Energy, L.P. [[GEL]] Enbridge Inc. (USA) [[ENB]]

Top 3 Oil & Gas & Exploration Stocks

Pride International, Inc. [[PDE]] Enerplus Resources Fund (USA) [[ERF]] Noble Corporation [[NE]]

Bonus:

Top 3 Stocks, ranked by technicals

Brigham Exploration Company [[BEXP]] American Oil & Gas Inc. [[AEZ]] Kodiak Oil & Gas Corp. [[KOG]]

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My email box is flooded with apology notes, written by halphazard bastards who doubted me. These creatures of the night were throwing coleslaw at me, no more than 1 week ago. Yet, today, they find themselves groveling for forgiveness at the feet of “Le Fly,” grasping onto my robe, pleading for help. I do not accept apologies, small men of the web. I warned you about betting against me, yet you chose to ignore the prophecy. Emphatically, I pointed to an instrument of mathematical precision, The PPT, which called another short term bottom in equities to the exact day, yet again. And, amusingly enough, you laughed at me.

You laughed, while stuffing your big fat faces with 80% hamburgers, on the way to your local cardiologist for emergency heart surgery. You laughed, while “The Fly” struggled, in the trenches, knocking off one mustache to the next. Finally, you laughed, while your head got smashed in with a claw-hammer doused with mustard.

There is a lesson to be had, good people of the interwebs; and I am here to teach it. I do it through wit and charm, with a little sarcasm and outright “round the bend” demeanor about me. In time, you will learn to respect me, else feel the wrath of my claw-hammer against your little pebble sized brain.

In short: “The Fly” wins again.

I bought 5,000 Hercules Offshore, Inc. [[HERO]] @ $4.65 and 10,000 Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] @ $5.89.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, the next time you turn the your car ignition on, your car will blow up. And, you may lose money.

I’ve been busy tending to my oil wells all day, while you’ve been stuck in a “fag-box” long [[FAZ]] . I make fun of you because you’ve earned it. Don’t talk to me, as if we were equals. “The Fly” is bat-shit crazy about the stock market and will punch your mustache off if you get in the way of his destiny.

The website business is nothing to brag about or show off during holiday cocktail parties. The paltry earnings I make from iBC are easily spent on a night out in Manhattan. However, just so you know, I will not stop lighting the financial blogosphere on fire, until the iBC brand is feared by the idiots on my television box.

Aside from looking over my wells, I’ve been busy meeting with clients. “The Fly” has a busy schedule, and quite frankly, many of you have been spoiled by my availability, over the past three years.

With my money, I’ve been buying a variety of foreign stocks and some General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] , TeleCommunication Systems, Inc. [[TSYS]] and a little more Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] .

Finally, in case you are wondering, the Kraft Foods Inc. [[KFT]] for Cadbury plc (ADR) [[CBY]] deal is extremely bullish for stocks, namely beverage stocks—like Hansen Natural Corporation [[HANS]] and Dr Pepper Snapple Group Inc. [[DPS]] .

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I am an oil man. Talk to you later.

For all intents and purposes, the summer is over; now it’s time to get back to work. No more going out to bars, getting your faces punched in. It’s time to get “kick the dog into the high voltage fence” serious, especially for you home gamers who are into banking coin.

While most of you just sit around, fat and stupid, waiting for luck to hit, some of you have a sincere interest in mastering this market. Truth be told, I will tell you exactly what you need to hear, in due time.

The end of summer, for Senor Tropicana, means no more playing around with time wasting activities. I will not partake in afternoon walks or even talking to idiot friends on the telephone. Instead, I intend to pick up my trading activity, to better suit my highly caffeinated demeanor and swagger.

As you well know, the theme is “fuck the dollar” and “hello commodities and tech.” Moreover, as discussed earlier, I intend to allocate 20% of my assets to foreign stocks—all thanks and praise to the splendours [sic] of global growth, regardless of Vietnamese sweat shops.

In short: get to work.

If you recall, I was blogging from the future yesterday, thanks in large part to my plutonium powered time machine. While in the future, I was blessed with privileged information, regarding today’s melt-up, all thanks and praise to corrupt, bear eating robots, from Goldman.

Now, “Plutonium Petey” brings GOOD NEWS of future natural disasters, with regards to hurricanes and other such eventful things. Believe you me, I will be salsa dancing on your faces, once I blow out of my refinery trifecta: Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] and Holly Corporation [[HOC]] . As an aside, my position in Starent Networks Corp. [[STAR]] is cutting the livers out of those who sell it short.

Real quick, with the utmost sincerity and candor, get long egregious amounts of stock into the bell, then go drink yourself stupid, for the market is about to carpet bomb the short sellers into the pangs of an inferno funhouse.

Good Day.

Top picks: refiners, Starent Networks Corp. [[STAR]] , Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]]

I bought 10,000 [[RAX]] @ $13.70.

Disclaimer: If you buy RAX because of this post, your wife will leave you. And, you may lose money.