iBankCoin Blows Pipe Smoke in Your Face

I can’t stand fuckers who don’t stand for anything. You know the type, middle of the road, cock suckers, who’d slit your throat for a turban donning master, providing the pay was right.

Unfortunately, I’m in the wrong business to have such an attitude. Nearly everyone on Wall Street is all about making a buck to fuck the guy with bad luck, if you know what I mean.

Then you have the financiers. Oh these guys are a piece of work, always peddling their bullshit wares to “accredited investors.” In other words, sell shit to people that can afford to lose money. It’s a wonderful business plan, providing you need capital losses.

I should write a book about all of the fuckery I’ve witnessed, from coked out managers, to an egregious new hire stock broker found unconscious in the men’s room with a fucking heroin needle stuck in his arm; I’ve seen it all.

“The Fly” comes correct, and fresh, everyday because he stands for something that is more than stocks or asshattery. As you know, “The Fly” stands for truth and honour and will defend such ideals until it gets boring or “old hat.”

We all know, first hand, how difficult it is to make money in the market, day in and day out. For starters, most of you ass lickers need to stop thinking that you know anything about investing. Really, dude, it’s fucking embarrassing to read 2/3rds of the shit that you write on the internets. I feel uncomfortable, to say the least.

There are many websites out there, hosted by complete assholes, who claim to be top dog investors, with charts and all sorts of fancy shit to back up their assertions. Unfortunately, 95% of them are regular hucksters, who are just out to make a buck.

Always remember, what I do here, on an daily basis, as obsessive as it is, is for a reason. I don’t do it to make a gagillion dollars. I do not write to “vent,” like some of you loser bloggers claim.

I started iBankCoin, frankly, because I wanted to create a brain trust of unfettered truth, unlike my competition. Without question, inside of 5 years, mark my words, iBankCoin will be one of the biggest, if not biggest, financial websites in the country.

In other news, oil sucks dick.

UPDATE: Go watch the Frontline special on the credit crisis, at Gio’s.

I wanted to take a “time out” from end of the world proceedings to let you bastards know, in case you live under a heavy rock, President Obama just escalated the war in Afghanistan, by 50%, prior to reducing our forces in Iraq.

I would link to another bloggers take on this quiet event. However, everyone seems to have their fucking heads up their asses, when it comes to the “War on Terror.”

Back to your regularly scheduled end of the world coverage.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WV9WItPthkU 450 300]

Lady G special request.

This new scandal at Stanford Financial is the proverbial straw that broke the assholes back. For God’s sake, they’re a fuicking CD house. Unreal.

Look, the reality here is our governments incessant desire to prop up the banks, in order to protect bond holders. They know, if the banks go under, any bankruptcy court will slash and burn the bondholders, who incidentally, happen to be the biggest buyers of government debt.

Do you see the conundrum?

If you fuck the bondholders of the banks, then you fuck yourself, via wiping out the liquidity of the people who buy your Treasuries.

How big is this problem?

Well, taking a look at our larger banks/institutions, it’s hard to discern a real time number of their total liabilities. However, it’s fair to say, collectively, they owe TRILLIONS of dollars to asshole bond buyers.

WFC owes more than 250 bill

USB (Guy Adami special) owes around 100 bill

C owes anywhere from 300-700 bill

BAC owes more than 300 bill

AIG owes more than 170 bill

CIT owes more than 70 bill

MET owes more than 60 bill

COF owes more than 35 bill

JPM owes more than 250 bill

MBI owes more than 30 bill

GS and MS owe more than 300 bill a piece.

I can go on and on. The point here: the government is in an untenable position, trying to prop up these banks that are utterly and without a doubt insolvent.

Long story short: I made a dickheaded error trying to catch a bounce. I sold out of my Chinese shit and raised cash. At the close of trade, all in all, my long and shorts are about equal and my cash position is 50%.

The ultimate plan: survive this shit and eventually burn down my neighbors garage.

I’m out of all Chinese names, except JRJC.

I sold out of CHL, FXI, WX and YZC.

I love how these failed CEO’s defend their equity by citing their industries “replacement cost,” in an effort to justify their stocks valuation.

With that logic, the “replacement cost” of SIRI must be in the billions. After all, acquiring a kick ass radio personality must be in the $500 million range, right?

Wrong.

No one gives a shit about your fucking satellites.

I was just listening to an interview with the CEO of MOS. He was incredibly bearish on the demand/supply situation, regarding his companies products, citing “warehouses full” of potash. He said his company has 4-5 weeks of supply on hand, and nowhere to sell his shit, due to nonexistent demand.

Then he rambled on talking about “replacement cost” as the only viable reason to own his companies stock. What a joke.

Personally, I sold out of most of my FXI/CHL, saying “goodbye” to Chinese fuckery for good. Moreover, I am done with YZC and WX. I kept BUCY, MT and JRJC, while buttressing my cash position.

Essentially, and most unfortunately, “The Fly” has not been capitalizing on this disaster. As a matter of fact, I’ve been slowly bleeding out, losing 1% here, 2% there. Year to date, I am still up around 5-6%, but it should be a lot more.

Now, the first mistake I made was going long into this crock of shit. I do not want to compound the error by potentially selling at the bottom, then turning around and shorting at the top.

So, my game plan is simple: get small and let my current shorts do their work.

I will sell off enough longs so that my DUG/ERY/EEV positions can “work their magic.” I think it’s a foregone conclusion that the S&P is heading for 740 within days. With that being said, XOM is days away from being routing, in a very non friendly sort of way.

Bottom line: Taking losses on longs. Building up cash to 50%+. Letting existing short positions “work their magic.”

Federal marshalls raided the offices of Stanford Financial? Ha!

There really is no point trying to paint the pig gold anymore: America is dead.

The country you grew up with and cherished is dead. It has been replaced with some fuckhole of a place, where its politicians are imbecilic morons and its populus stab one another in the back for a little extra fiat currency.

With that in mind, it’s important to note that the dollar is up big this morning. The world knows if we go down, they’re fucked. So, it’s not a surprise to see them, desperately, trying to support our system of shit. Nonetheless, the outcome looks certain now. We will likely follow that cock sucker Geithner right down the rabbit hole.

In other news, “The Fly” is not “enjoying” today’s meltdown, being 55% long. You might be amazed to know that I really don’t give a fuck. It’s a brand of abject, stoic not giving a fuck that I am working on, all thanks and praise to this wonderful fuckhead of a nation, The U.S of A.

Nevertheless, I am banking tremendous coin on my DUG/ERY/EEV positions. I will likely sell them into this mess.

As for my longs: clearly, the market broke down. I should be selling them. First, I want to see how the day progresses; then I will make a decision.

UPDATE: I sold 75% of my FXI position, just south of $25. And, I sold all of my CHL, just south of $45.

The world is as sweet as industrial rain right now. I cannot tell you how emphatic I am to behold world conversion to unified boorishness. Through magical cigars and laws of the black art, the United States will throw solar beams of energy at its friends, who will bask in our glory and receive gifts of wonderment with great zip—never mind our enemies.

The equity markets will applaud the passing of tedium, in exchange for a more livelier variety—one that gives the commonality something to gawk at.

Nevertheless, I beg to differ with your plans to gallop the drudgery, through stockpiled subsistence and purified h2o. Rather, I advocate the distribution of mutton sandwiches and ample supplies of sweet nectar be afforded, while partaking in sport, so that you may bear witness to the final chapter of this epic comedy of woe.

Or, you can go to the park and toss the fucking football around with your stoopid [sic] friends, eat a philly cheese steak and down a few fucking beers, while the country burns to the ground (burp).

UPDATE: Peter Schiff’s response to his own fuckery.

Whole industries are on the precipice of outright collapse. As a point in fact, whole countries are already in free fall. The Russian economy, for example, is in extremely dire straights, with the Ruble dropping by 2/3rds in recent months and corporate balance sheets in shambles. It is estimated that more than 400 billion dollars in Russian corporate debt needs to be refinanced this year, most of which is financed by European and Asian banks.

Aside from the banks, autos, commercial Re and insurance firms are next up on the chopping block. Most of these firms have disastrous exposure to the capital markets. And, moreover, their policy holders are going bankrupt—har, har, har.

Stocks that will be in the line of fire include: MET, AXA, ING, AEL, PRU, LNC, PL, AZ, HIG and ZNT just to name a few.

As for our banks: I really want no part of them, long or short. I do think they go lower. However, bearing witness to one short squeeze after another, over the last 2 years, has conditioned me to stay away from the sector, whenever it is at or near new lows. If forced to bet against a few names, I’d sell short PACW, MCO (fuckers), WABC, EWBC, PCBC, CATY and CMA.

However, again, I would not be surprised to see some sort of asshole rally, over the next few weeks. My money is better served betting against oil/gas and commercial Re.

UPDATE: Follow iBankCoin on Twitter. Soon enough, all iBC related articles will be linked there, in a very spammy way.

http://twitter.com/iBankCoin

Apparently, Peter Schiff is embarrassed by this clip and wants it removed, according to the vlogger who posted it. At any rate, before the vid is pulled, what is your opinion on this sort of fuckery?