Get Your Guns Out

Fuck all of the bullshit, debating the stimulus, while bitching and whining about the market. Hey, if you fuckers want to do something about it, quit paying your taxes.

That’s what you should do: partake in a good old fashioned tax revolt. The next time the IRS comes knocking, tell them to go fuck themselves amidst their God damned federal printing presses. See where that gets you.

Oh, you should stop paying your mortgage too. While you’re at it, stop paying for your car, the kids education and even groceries. Just walk into your local Whole Foods, fill up a wagon with organic shit, and walk the fuck out, as if you owned the place.

The alternative to that shit written above is to form a militia and sing fancy songs with them, while living in exile— on a swamp somewhere.

See assholes, life must go on, whether you like it or not. You can build out nuclear bomb shelters and move your family into them. But the only cool thing that will result from that is your vacated house being used/violated, by the local teenagers, in order to throw keg parties inside of it.

On a very personal level, I don’t give a fuck about government. Fuck them and their asshole ways. I have an excellent tax attorney, who helps me find tax shelters. As long as government doesn’t fuck with my business and blog, I am cool. Hell, life is too short to worry about the end of times. We all go inside coffins, made from pineapples, eventually.

I know, you zealots out there are worried about future generations. Hey, I got news for you fuckface, they don’t give two homos and a queer fiddle about you. When you get old and weak, they will liquidate you and use your body to fertilize their corn fields.

What if China stops buying our Treasuries, sending the dollar into free fall? How very scary.

That’s an easy one. Everyone will take out their guns and start shooting each other in the face. Hey, we’re Americans. We love to shoot things and make believe we’re egregious cowboys on some sort of wild coked out expedition, in search of gold. Well, with a little help from the Chinese, we can do that for real, ransacking each others homes for gold rings and chains.

Bottom line: quit being such a fucking pussy.

In other news, FAS players are dead. Fucking dead, I tell you.

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This was a special request by “Crude Broker” over there in Queerville, TX.

What a douchebag market. If the market was a real person, it would be a jerk off from Brooklyn, who is burdened with a heavy accent and likes to wear lots of gold chains, just prior to killing his best friend with a metal pipe.

I think it’s important to note the carnage in commercial Re. Names like VNO, SPG, SLG, KIM and MAC are getting obliterated, without much fanfare. As you know, my favorite commercial Re stocks to short are FRT, ESS, MAC and SLG.

On the long side, I like Chinese burritos. Stocks like CHL, FXI JRJC, YZC and even LFC seem to have the support of a billion or two communists.

In short, the market is not a very inviting place to make money right now. On one hand, stocks appear to be oversold. On the other, capitalism as we know is dead.

The million dollar question: When does that get priced in?

My approach is simple: survive this decline and buy the dips. Mind you, I am not talking about buying asshole bank stocks. I am done with them. Instead, I want to position myself for the inevitable bounce. At some point, we will get a 10% rally. Into that rally, I will sell all of my longs and go on vacation.

These are tough times for everyone, not just Wall Street pikers. Try to remember the fuckery and mitigate risk whenever possible.

Now go buy your lady friend some fucking flowers and chocolate.

Much to your chagrin, we will rip higher into the close.

Indeud.

NOTE: As an aside, commercial Re names are falling apart, namely KIM, VNO, SPG, SLG, MAC, amongst others. I’d be shocked to see SRS trade lower, at least this afternoon.

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Support your fucking union. Vote for the fucking stimulus.

As the day winds down and volume thins out, prepare for Mother Market to make an appearance, so that she may trick you and take all of your money. At the end of the day, the bitch ain’t satisfied until your account is at $00.00.

As an aside, I’ve been dealing with a plethora of personal issues, which has me crazier than a southerner at a civil war reenactment show.

I am 55% long into this shit parade. Once again, I like the same old names: FXI, CHL, LNN, MT, ACM and JRJC.

Seeing oil/gas stocks strong defies the laws of reason and honour [sic]. However, I will not add to any shorts, for it is evident that asshole dip buyers want them higher.

By the way, Newt Gingrich has an alterntaive plan to the current stimulus bill. Read about it here. In other news, the assholes from San Francisco want to spend $30 million (via stimulus bill) to save the “endangered” salt marsh harvest mouse.

If you are so inclined to read through over 1,400 pages, here is the stimulus bill.

As for the markets:

So far, it looks like the banks will sell off again.  However, considering we have a long weekend ahead of us, I would not want to be heavily short, into the weekend. And, by no means, I do not want to gamble on the banks, long or short.

More on this later.

They pedal very fast on their stupid tricycles, while listening to podcasts of the meatball thrower: “The Great Roubini.”

They go to iBankCoin and leave disturbing messages, such as “STFU, NEW LOWS SOON!!!” And they even offer to suck their own cocks, in exchange for meaningless approbation.

They frequent gay bars and make friends with local coin collectors.

These people I speak of reside near the bottom of proverbial trash heaps; and they eat old mashed potatoes for breakfast. They are so fat and gluttonous, their burlap shirts rip through felled seams. When they log onto their bullshit trading accounts or browse the internets, they make clumsy typing errors because their fingers are too fat and stupid.

The monstrous creatures I speak of are being “slightly castrated in early asian trading,” as we speak.

Stay tuned.