After a healthy dose of cocaine biscuits, Mr. Cobblehead bought lots of stock. He logged onto his bullshit E-Trade account and purchased inordinate amounts of TNA. While doing so, he exclaimed, loudly, “Tits-N-Ass baby, Tits-N-Ass.”
His stupid friends called him up and warned him that the market looked weak. They called him on his blackberry too, warning him of pending doom, with regards to his bullshit 5 figure E-Trade account.
He ignored such warnings with a highly caffeinated “fuck yoooooooooooo,” as he purchased more “Tits-N-Ass,” ripping out offers.
As the market climbed, his buy orders got bigger. With one hand, he was helping himself to a healthy serving of cocaine biscuits, with the other, unfortunately or fortunately, “Tits-N-Ass.”
Mr. Cobblehead’s heart began to race, as the market dropped. The news was extraordinarily “good,” with regards to Q4 GDP. After all, the economy had only slowed by a mere 3.8%. Some of Mr. Cobblehead’s friends said it would mountain cliff dive by 5%.
With this in mind, he bought more on margin, leveraging his account to the maximum allowable amount, effectively putting all of his chips into one stock, “Tits-N-Ass.”
Too be continued…
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Funny story. True?
I pity the Foo.
Developing…
Don’t make fun of my 5 figure account. Make fun of ETFC all you want
The story of Mr. Cobblehead sounds like DONNY with FAS.
Beware this midday fake rally. Check the European markets. Same thing happened and they proceeded to close at the lows. I would short more here. Picked up some SRS for fun.
A VEIN OF COMEDY GOLDMINE… “tits-n-ass”
hahahaha
WOE….Mr. Cobblehead didnt listen to my advise earlier today…of less is best, be cautious, be defensive, not a good time to be overly eager to press forward. Too bad for him. I sold off short ETF’s this morning with a nice profit. I am holding TNA from a while back its not doing too bad.
I am off to lunch to celebrate at Arturos. Will walk across the street and have the Sonia’s Ravioli stuffed with chicken and porcini mushrooms, topped with a white wine basil sauce and jumbo lump crabmeat. Perhaps a Chopin vodka martini.
I am done for the day.
.
Fly. You forgot Fly, Jr. up here and he is wandering the street aimlessly.
I’ll bring him in for the weekend and feed him ribeyes but we will have to count the silver and china.
Keep a nice cash position
” I am done for the day.”
Thank God.
With the addition of the triple ETFS – TNA TZA BGU BGZ FAS FAZ etc, it does not surprise me revenues in Vegas are dropping. Who needs Vegas when you have these 3x ETFs.
Too bad. And we were going to start a conversation about tennis and chocolate covered strawberries.
wow, do you have a blog? if you do please send us the link – i am hooked! and tell us more about your tennis games and drinks and food! you are soooo sophisticated! i am dying to be like you!
Fuck you Charlie.
Honest question…
So we all know DRYS breached two loan covenants…what does that mean for the shareholders?
Stock is currently at $7.15, and tanked 40% in two days…U guys think It can go lower or try to cover some here?
I am HEAVILY short here since the $12ish level using OPTIONS…
Any opinions would be welcome…
Uh Oh. Meatball is now saying the “bad bank” plan is in trouble. That’s what the market wants.
Look out below.
Charlie just punched Mr. Cobblehead in the nose.
LOL
Weeeeeeeeeee, this is fun…………………..
I had a pickinic basket for lunch. Times are tough. Used to be I’d steal one and it would have some fancy wine and cheese and some other goodies. Now all I get are peanut butter and jelly, or jelly and cream cheese. Cheap peanut butter too. Generic, not Jiff or Skippy, or the Whole Foods foo foo kind.
Back to my cave to throw a rock against the wall, and scribble with charcoal.
Thatsa sum spicee meataball!
Someone shut that fucktard up!
There goes CNBC again with the rumors.
Go Charlie G. Go.
can someone post what cnbc is saying for those who donot have access to tv? if it is deemed a serious news of course…
These A-holes on CNBC needs to be shot.
Gasparinoed!
Gasbagparino works his magic once again.
wow, that my friends, is why you watch CNBC.
Fly must be blogging by Cinderella’s Castle.
Nothing to see there.
Go over to The American Idol setup and sing them a CNBC song and keep it clean for the kids.
XOM to 1,000,0000,00000000000000. They can actually synthetically make oil now out of water.
Does anybody thinks Steve Grasso is a fucking asshole?
One day he is super bullish, two hours later…oh no, run for the foxholes…
At least that bull-shitter Peter Costa has some consistency…
Charlie didn’t say anything different than he did yesterday
Mike,
The covenant story is old, though resurrected this week. I have puts as well from 16 and I bought them on a macro rationale – no trade, no revs.
No revs…pretty hard to deal with your debt, which was a tight spot to begin with. Their deal yesterday was peanuts. What else can they do?
Besides pray?
I sold a third of June 2.50s for a 100% gain but I think that it goes fortune cookie by late spring.
Good luck, and may Cobblehead gobble head.
His own…
Pray. sold a third of minevtoday for 100% and am holding the rest
Looks like you can’t edit off an iphone…
Eh…ok, I’m confused. So we’ve pretty much known since at least yesterday that this bad bank thing was on hold. So a few minutes ago, Gasparino mentions it for the umpteenth time today (yawn!) but because Dennis Kneale puts on the “I’m shocked” look and repeats it as if this is some new breaking news, the market collapses?
This is retarded.
This just in, Charlie Meatball seen in CNBC bathroom mastubating after he saw the market’s reaction to his report.
Braveflaps,
Yeah, I made a good coin on it…but if this stocks hits $3ish level…It would nearly quadruple the profits as the puts would be HEAVILY in the money and the options and stock would be moving 1-1.
From a technical standpoint, i dont see ANY support until $5.90 and fundamentals and momentum is clearly on the downside. My target is $3ish level…
I am just dont want to wake up one morning and have a restructuring of the debt or a fucking buy out…
If the banks rally off this then it’s a go (short term anyway).
UPDATE- It’s on again.
Screw them all.
It won’t work anyway.
“On Hold”
Just means on hold until next tuesday/wednesday, when it all resurfaces again. CNBC trying to bring this market down for some reason.
Bennet Sedacca
01:15:00 PM
No positions in stocks mentioned.
More contagion….
Last night, Moody’s downgraded 1893 (yes one thousand, eight hundred and ninety three) Alt A Tranches.
Many went from AAA to CCC.
Alt A is likely our next very big problem, which could pose a large problem for Wells Fargo (WFC) which inhaled $130 billion o Alt A from Whacky Bank (Wachovia).
Bennet Sedacca
12:55:00 PM
No positions in stocks mentioned.
U.S. Central Credit Union cut by S&P
It seems that no one can escape the jaws of the Credit crisis. S&P just downgraded the United States Central Credit Union.
The organization, according to their website, http://www.uscentral.org, is the ‘wholesale financial center for the nation’s corporate credit unions… and exists solely to assist them in serving 8400 credit unions across the country… assets total approximately $37.3 billion.
In addition, Geithner, the other day, asked for TARP money for this organization.
Amazing how pervasive this is all becoming.
All I can say is contagion versus contained was the right call a couple of years ago and amazingly, to me, risks have never been greater. Systemically, that is.
I’m short tits-n-ass
Steph
That’s what I’m saying. This is silly!
OK OK I am getting long FAS here just for trade . I will place a stop @ $9.05
Big Mike,
I am of similar mind – no idea what the odds are of restructuring, but CS says this: DryShips has a large number of lenders it must satisfy and has a large portion of older ships, which some banks might not value very highly.
Also warns that the new offering could add up to 50 million to the existing 70 million float.
So I think it could see $3 next week…
Oh stop it CNBC
Yeah. Why bother working on a plan over the weekend.
It’s not like it’s a crisis or anything.
CNBS 🙁
Double bottom on the Dow…
Shorted HOTT at $8.68. A “teen” retail near its 52 week high. LOL
new post
Lady G
Is it true, what the bus boy from Arturos told me, you are also a master furniture refinisher..cause he said you can really polish a knob.
Fly’s right — gotta watch the CNBC azzwholes
Watching the WH press conference and it looks like Helen Thomas has finally found the ghost.
You can be sure this market will be down 200 today. We will at the very least test Nov. lows maybe next week. Selling FAS $15 and $12.5 FEB calls ALL day long. This POS will see $5 in the not so distant future.- CAP
BUST A CAP, nice call
Hi
Fly Where are you?
feel bad to be all long in a day like this.
I hope he is fine…