iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,443 Blog Posts

Pardon me: Fuck Oil

I know many of you are HUGE believers in the power of black gold. You sit there, in your low end chair, reminiscing of the days when rich Saudi’s led you around by the fucking ear. You long for the days when paying $4.50 at the pump sacked your checking account.

Now that crude is trading post apocalypse, you swear on a stack of holy Korans that it shall and will return to its glory days. For some odd reason, you believe the dollar will weaken versus the euro. After all, the euro fags are doing just great, across the pond. And, to top it off, their currency is backed by big ol’ bricks of gold (sarcasm off).

Entertain me, if you would. Let’s just assume, for the moment of course, crude does not make it alll the way back. Let’s assume, if I might be so bold, the overzealous activity is equal to that of a bounce in previous wrecked industries, such as banks, homies and nanotech. However, do not misunderstand me. In no way shall we equate the oil sector, in its present form, to that of the nanotech sector of 2004. We shall NOT do that.

However, let’s say we did.

I know it’s a crazy/lunatic idea. But, I’m gonna throw it out there anyway. Just for the sake of having fun and kicking teenagers down extra large storm drains, here goes:

My oil/gas short sale list (for fun of course. Nothing very serious. I promise. Swear on your Koran)

XOM

RIG

TOT

COP

PBR

SNP

CHK

APC

HLX

BRY

SFY

TSO

WFT

CWEI

Okay, that was just for “fun.” Those names weren’t simply pulled from some sort of bear bag. They represent the oil/gas companies laden with the most debt and/or with the worst cash/debt ratios, with exception to XOM. I’m just hating on them.

Naturally, it is very uncouth of me to suggest such a thing (shorting oil stocks), especially because you circle head mother fuckers enjoy the price of high crude, as it is a source of funds used to finance a vast array of international terrorist attacks.

However, should the price of crude mellow out around these fucked up prices, you might want to sell short some of the above names, in the event the market ever traded down again—of course. I do concur, it shall be a very difficult campaign to make the case for lower equity prices in 2009.

Nonetheless, I am sure the economy will make its case, with great vigor.

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46 comments

  1. jig

    FLy,

    any thoughts on SRS, do you see much more downside to this fucker?

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  2. Dinosaur Trader

    “Circle head mother fuckers?”

    Look, just cos you’re all “first-tier” over here doesn’t mean you can just make shit up.

    -DT

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  3. chivasontherocks
    chivasontherocks

    sold 100 contracts 47.49. booked + 880k.

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  4. CAP

    Being long POT BTU FCX and TSO makes me feel like a suicide bomber who died and got his 72 virgins.

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  5. nncoco

    Good article on leveraged and inverse ETFs today in the WSJ “Fund Fiend.” Sorry couldn’t find an online link.

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  6. Dinosaur Trader

    Hmmm… I stand corrected.

    Circle head.

    -DT

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  7. mdawsz

    Your oil shorts will resemble the fate of FXP.

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  8. Sheik Abdul Azim Barad-Badahhss

    “My” Koran??

    “My” Koran??!

    That is it, infee-dell motheer fucccchh-har!

    You are now on my death-list!

    Do not venture into any bazaars in the near future, I tell you!

    ____

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  9. ottnott

    The good stuff for chivas tonight. Nice job.

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  10. chivasontherocks
    chivasontherocks

    thank you

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  11. Fade Fly

    LMAO at Fly. He’s all red faced now.

    Oil will settle between 60-75 this year and I will be printing huge amounts of money.

    Meanwhile, Fly and his oil shorts will be pumping my 2.75 gas.

    Fly – go long Preparation H (ticker – butt). You’re going to need it.

    and by the way – have Jeremy un-bann me unless you are afraid of opposing dialogue. Do you enjoy a bunch of low IQ sheeple agreeing with you all day?

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  12. The Fly

    Your Koran will burn with your oil profits.

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  13. The Fly

    What do you think you are, high IQ?

    You’re an imbecile. Go run around your neighborhood, looking for someone to play with.

    Fuck off.

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  14. The Fly

    SRS is good to go.

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  15. Sheik Abdul Azim Barad-Badahhss

    Ohhh, by the blood of my martyred goat-herding ancestors, I shall have my vengeance for such insult!

    In’shallah, you will be crossing the street one day and an overweight goat should fall out of a passing chattel truck on your infee-dell tuchas!

    _______

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  16. Fade Fly

    I guarantee my IQ is higher than some east coast, 4th tier hedge fund lacky with an associates degree from SUNY.

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  17. Goin'Fawr

    All I wanna do is play SU,
    I got a feelin’,
    I’m not the only one…
    When the SUn comes up on the Athabasca boulevard!
    (I notice Mr.Fly isn’t daring to say he’ll short that one!)
    Oh, and Canadians aren’t terrorists, foreign mb, eh.

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  18. The Fly

    Not a chance loser.

    Fuck off.

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  19. The Fly

    SU sucks too. How can a tar sands co make money in this environment?

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  20. so i herd you liek mudkips
    so i herd you liek mudkips

    those asshat oil-lovers in the comments should understand the difference between USO and XLE.

    i see no reason that XLE should outperform oil so heavily as of late:
    http://finance.yahoo.com/q/bc?s=XLE&t=1y&l=on&z=l&q=l&c=uso

    (whatever. i’m primarily watching whether TLT finally tests&breaks the 110 support this week)

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  21. Fade Fly

    What will be really hilarious is when Fly comes on end of day spouting how she was up 6.8% on the day.

    The curtain has been pulled.

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  22. TBP

    Seriously Fly, oil is starting to make you sound and act like DEVILDOG. Eventually, you might be right.

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  23. little2rich4u

    If you are that ballsy against oil, Fly, short 50,000 ERX. It’s that simple. Chicken ****.

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  24. Stuart06230

    SU looks worthy of a cynical long. Higher highs, higher lows. might day trade it on new hi.

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  25. TraderCaddy

    Speaking of the Koran somebody please tell the IDF (Israeli Defense Force) that those helmets (hats?) that they are wearing makes them look gay. It’s something the French would wear and if you look like the French you will fight like the French and turn into a surrender monkey.

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  26. The Fly

    Oh, that’s right. I am 100% short oil. Oh no, actually, I am only 40% short, which entails large sums of SRS,DUG, FAZ,KIM, XOM and a little DUG.

    My other 40% is in cash.

    And, I am 20% long, with C being the largest.

    So, pardon me if I say, rather emphatically, I am doing okay. No need to worry about me. Might I suggest you find employment or go practice tongue kissing a male goat?

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  27. TraderCaddy

    … no offense to Leonard The Monkey.

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  28. chivasontherocks
    chivasontherocks

    zero chance idf will fight like the french

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  29. The Fly

    TBP:

    Correct. My obsession with crude is somewhat, well, obsessive. However, unlike good ol’ Devil Dog, I am not really putting my money where my mouth is, yet. I have a DUG position and some XOM short. For the most part, XOM has not hurt me, up from my initial sale.

    I am being a little forward looking. I know it is not very popular, while the sector is on fire. However, sometimes remembering reality can help for future investments.

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  30. The Fly

    With that being said: GET LONG OIL.

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  31. Fade Fly

    Fly’s Madoff fund is to be exposed very soon.

    LMAO when he tells us he made 8% at end of day

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  32. Da_bears

    So now your long oil. That changed for the first time. Whats your time horizon

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  33. Sheik Abdul Azim Barad-Badahhss

    May the toes of a thousand dromedaries infest the blue-jeans of your favorite wife.

    __________

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  34. fly 2009

    Fly boy your fucking dead with your ass wipe picks

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  35. The Fly

    T-bills getting raped.

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  36. Fly's Triple ETF Dealer

    Sheeeeeeeeeiiiiittt.

    Now ERX done gone above foahty-ate.

    Doan mean you cain’t steel smoke it wif a fohty, tho!

    _______

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  37. Fly's Triple ETF Dealer

    Doan’ tell me about no PROGRAM, neither, Flah.

    Ah KNOW yo’ ass!

    ________

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  38. Goin'Fawr

    Fly, your retorts make my day! But then my NYMEX oil Bull 2X ETF helps too. And Stuart, SU trades a nice ‘gap-lash’ play almost daily. They still make cash ’cause existing projects cost about 30/bbl to produce.

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  39. Fly's Triple ETF Dealer

    Sheeeeeitt.

    Dayum “TWO tahms” ETF jus’ a GATE-way drug, Goin’ Fawr.

    You’all need ta come on ovah heah and get you somma dat TRIPLE shit smoke.

    Schweet!

    ________

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  40. charlie

    TNA is warming up, adding more to my cache on the dips.

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  41. Razncane

    Guess DUG is the way to go, Thanks Fly

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  42. Goin'Fawr

    3X’s!! I don’t ever want to be that rich, or that poor. I’s scared o’ the bright lights, and the dark corners. Also, even with 2X’s the first one ain’t necessarily free…

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  43. CAP

    Fly’s Triple ETF Dealer = JakeGint fo shizzle.

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  44. scum bucket

    XOM is dead meat. The last oil bust lasted for a decade, however, it will be politics that goat-f@cks them this time.

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  45. Saudi Oil Minister
    Saudi Oil Minister

    We are long oil stocks before cutting more production dramatically ie, 2009 Oil Embargo. Deferred production losses will be made up in the stock market. The ultimate insider trade. Long live Kenneth Galbraith…

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  46. pig fucker

    I want to sniff Karen Finerman’s dirty places…thoughts??

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