Gold has become a safe haven and the TBT trade continues to look good. Personally, instead of buying today’s dip, I opted to err on the side that Obama has no fucking idea what he is doing, with regards to a “bad bank plan,” via small FAZ, ERY buys.

Also, I stopped out of my TS position. I kept MT, FXI, CHL and BUCY, just in case we rally Monday. However, for the most part, I go into this weekend, decidedly negative on the markets.

Quick update on 2009’s “Four Reverse Horseman of Certain Death”-

ESS, MAC, FRT and SLG look terrible. And, don’t forget the 5th reverse horseman, KIM. That bitch is getting the stuffing kicked out of her.

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Bad Bank Moves

Fri Jan 30, 2009 3:40pm EST 25

I sold out of my entire TS position, just south of $20.

I bought 3,000 FAZ, just south of $52. And, I bought 3,000 ERY, just south of 36.20.

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Mr. Cobblehead and the CNBC Box

Fri Jan 30, 2009 3:01pm EST 35

Mr. Cobblehead was feeling quite jubilant about his TNA position. After all, the market was racing back, with great vigor, based upon cocaine dreams and a cheeseburger diet.

He was leveraged to the hilt, fully margined out, when suddenly, and much to his chagrin, Charlie “meatball” Gasparino appeared on his CNBC box with some “breaking news.”

Mr. Cobblehead watched Charlie talk shit about the alleged “bad bank” plan, while shaking like a leaf in the wind—high as a kite—dumb as a bag of doorknobs.

Suddenly, the coffee mug that was tightly gripped in his hand, which was brimming with hot French Roast liquids, violently unglued from his hand and sent flying into the “CNBC box.”

He roared: “FUCK YOOOOOOOOO ASSHOLE.”

As he rummaged through papers and pens, he looked up at his monitor and his bountiful “Tits-N-Ass” position was in the process of decoupling him from his money.

A few hours passed and his position was still a tenuous one. However, he still had confidence that a “late day rally” would occur. Nervously, he sat down, in his bullshit chair from Staples, to watch the final hour of trade.

To be continued…

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God Bless Chinese Fuckery

Fri Jan 30, 2009 1:56pm EST 23

Thanks to more rumor milling at CNBC, the market is going down again. Actually, as I write this, it is nosediving.

The volatility in SRS is nuts, going from down 70 cents to up $3, in a matter of minutes. Frankly, I have no idea where the market will end up today. Hence, I have both longs and shorts.

However, one this is reliable: Chinese Fuckery.

With the market down nearly 2%, Chinese stocks should not be up, but they are. As you know, aside from a little selling yesterday (25% of my position), FXI is a rather large position of mine.

For me, best case scenario, the market swims in blood, all the while FXI, resiliently, trades up. Also, at the same time, oil, commercial RE knife lower.

Thus far, everything is going according to plan. I am getting dinged on some “global growth plays,” namely TS, MT and BUCY. But, I anticipated weakness in those names, in a bad tape.

At the moment, both CHL and FXI are up, due to Chinese fuckery. Finally I get to profit from such egregious rice throwing activities.

NOTE: With regards to the “bad bank” idea: there is no fucking way Obama is going to pay a 100% premium for toxic assets. Listening to his rhetoric, he sounds more apt to zero out shareholder equity, before bailing out those banking gangsters. We shall see.

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Mr. Cobblehead and His Margin Account

Fri Jan 30, 2009 1:07pm EST 55

After a healthy dose of cocaine biscuits, Mr. Cobblehead bought lots of stock. He logged onto his bullshit E-Trade account and purchased inordinate amounts of TNA. While doing so, he exclaimed, loudly, “Tits-N-Ass baby, Tits-N-Ass.”

His stupid friends called him up and warned him that the market looked weak. They called him on his blackberry too, warning him of pending doom, with regards to his bullshit 5 figure E-Trade account.

He ignored such warnings with a highly caffeinated “fuck yoooooooooooo,” as he purchased more “Tits-N-Ass,” ripping out offers.

As the market climbed, his buy orders got bigger. With one hand, he was helping himself to a healthy serving of cocaine biscuits, with the other, unfortunately or fortunately, “Tits-N-Ass.”

Mr. Cobblehead’s heart began to race, as the market dropped. The news was extraordinarily “good,” with regards to Q4 GDP. After all, the economy had only slowed by a mere 3.8%. Some of Mr. Cobblehead’s friends said it would mountain cliff dive by 5%.

With this in mind, he bought more on margin, leveraging his account to the maximum allowable amount, effectively putting all of his chips into one stock, “Tits-N-Ass.”

Too be continued…

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GDP Dives by a Mere 3.8%

Fri Jan 30, 2009 8:39am EST 95

Go get your cocaine biscuits and get ready to buy stocks.

If that wasn’t enough, both CVX and XOM beat the estimates.

The SEC Needs to Investigate CNBC

Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:11pm EST 181

Some of you people ask and ponder: “Fly, if you hate CNBC so much, why do you watch it? ”

Well, for one, there is not much of an alternative. But, more importantly, their commentary and rumor mill department moves markets. In my business, information is everything.

Well, CNBC is now reporting the so called “bad bank” idea, floated out there by Fuckhead Steve Leisman, is just a pipe dream. Gasparino is now reporting the Government has no idea how to implement such a program, without bankrupting ALL OF THE BANKS.

Wake the fuck up SEC. Those assholes on CNBC just spread a rumor that jacked bank stocks higher to the tune of 30% in one day. Now, one day later, we find out it was all bullshit?

You have to be fucking kidding me. You— have— to— be— fucking— kidding— me.

I allocated millions of dollars yesterday, based upon some end game for the banks and now I find out, while relaxing with the kids, it was just some crazy eyed story.

They (CNBC) are repeat offenders and legal action should be pressed.

UPDATE: Here is the clip where Charlie throws a wet towel on Leisman’s original bad bank rumor.

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