“The Fly” Wins Again

I’ll have you know, this afternoon I offer you zero financial advice. Instead, I will inform the internets of my “unseemly,” yet entirely expected, string of unparalleled victories.

“The Fly” had his best day ever, with gains in excess of 17%. That’s right fuckfaces, 17%.

While it’s true, this victory was awfully pyrric, with irreversible damage done to the state of my internal organs, via last weeks “fuck you, you’re dead” collapse. Nonetheless, I won again and will continue to win, until my body is buried inside of a custom made pineapple coffin (“The Fly” has already reserved his final resting place, which happens to be a giant pineapple coffin).

All day, “The Fly” roamed his office, enrobed in triumph, dressed in the garments of a God, white robe and sandals.

In addition, he (“The Fly”), drank the sweet nectar of ambrosia, from his diamond encrusted chalice, while dumping the ashes of his aged cigar on top of Tim Knight’s bullshit blog page, which “The Fly” visits for laughs and humour [sic].

While many of you bears feel as if you have been dosed with hallucinogenic mushrooms, with the Dow closing up nearly 1,000 points, “The Fly” is cementing himself as an immortal figure of finance, amongst frolicking fuckfaces of folly.

In closing, do not ever doubt the time traveling efforts of Senor Tropicana aka Plutonium Petey, else he will track you down— and punch your fucking hose nose clean off your face.