I’m hopping into my car and getting the fuck out of here. Watching the market, tick by tick, is mind numbing and unhealthy, especially when you’re being ransacked—like me.
Right now, my positions are a fucking mess, with losses bleeding in [[RIG]], [[PCZ]], [[FXP]], [[REW]], [[TWM]] and a variety of doomed bank shorts. I knew we were due to bounce hard. As you know, I warned of such a rally. However, what I did not anticipate was a precipitous drop in crude. I figured, since crude was holding up in the midst of the bank boondoggle, energy related shares would surge on a snap back.
Wrong!
That’s the market. One can go from hero to assclown, within seconds.
Ag, basic resources and energy names are being shaved, across the board. One quiet beneficiary are the ethanol plays. With corn coming down, shares of [[VSE]] and [[AVR]] are surging.
I bought a little VSE, just for fucks sake.
Finally, it’s important to remember the feeling of being wrong, so that you properly behave when things are going well. Unfortunately, “The Fly” does not possess such personal character traits. Instead, he gets mad, throws shit around the office, kicks birds, throws pennies at homeless men and speeds off in his fucking car—all the while swearing revenge on the “fucking bastards” who took his money.
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Went long ATW
I remember the warning of the Fly that the banks could pop up 20% or more – I banked very small coin on DUG today – I may go heavier and stop this egregious rally down in oil prices. We need to help out that old man, Boone Pickens.
This will cheer you up, Fly…
Jefferson Krull, besotted and bedimmed by too many asstrades, attempts to rip off the local pizzaria to humorous effect:
Holy bejeezus, I had my testicajones ripped off and beaten into powder with a ginormous fucking hammer over the last two days. 21 days of profits gone in two fucking days while 15% net long because of this fucking bank pop and oil drop.
Off to buy two jawbreakers with my last 50 cents and have them surgically re-attached with a needle and thread and a Macdonald’s french fry bag where my nutsack used to be.
Has anyone seen Jake ? We were uhmmm…. violently separated this morning.
Fly, just wait a few months.. It’s just a matter of time before the world realized that Pakistan is being run by Al Queda and the Taliban. Everyone is looking at Iran. Oil will jump 100 points in a day.
Fly,
When will u learn that Ethanol is a value trap.
Alright fuckers. Rolled the dice.
Short MER Short COF.
Bring it on !
Short COF
Long GOOG
Do you have a time machine?
Alright Cappy! That’s a kid!
____
To “Mr. Funnypants” —
I don’t need my testicles anymore, I’m going into opera —
“strange & humourous roles” division.
__
this rally is horse shit. period.
i refuse to accept it.
fucking mexico trying to lock in 5yrs worth of oil at this price. fucking guys should go back to cooking huevos rancheros.
GOOG decapitated immediately. wonder if that will stick.
Fuck you clownfucks, go search for your vagina in your fucking ass with your marvelous search engine.
Google getting fisted in after hours. LOL
Fuck! I totally missed the GOOG earnings play!
GOOG lottery wins again! This time to the negatory side!
With all due respect — “woo-hoo!”
__
What’s up w/ COF?
__
Lesson learned from The Fly when he loses … he don’t looses his humour … same for Jake & his testicles … & others
hat tipped to such (wo)men
dammit, i think I just heard merlin.
MSFT not looking so hot.
Phew ! Good thing I didn’t play GOOG. I would have bet to the long side. Got saved on that one !
GOO GOO GAJOOB!
COF printing 41 AH
MER tries to kitchen sink it with a monster loss .
according to CNBC 50% of IBM’s gains are from forex profits.
6.4 bil is no big deal for a Merry Grinch. No wonder the fuckholes delayed earnings. Had to dump some shares to meet margin huh fuckassauruses. 1.7 bil in trading losses. And that’s with you gaming the whole fucking market with Lex. Die douchebags.
Be careful, we could rally 5-10% from here; I would wait it out, dollar cost average your shorts or hedge.
Meanwhile, you could play the commodities weakness via shorting coal/steel. Check out: AKS, JRCC;
Jim Goldman: “My analysts are saying GOOG will have stellar earnings…”
Hah! Fucking douchebag…anybody got his email?
MER had bad earnings? Wait, I thought all the banks were back? The economy rebounding with oil at only $129.
Hmmm… ALL the way down at the bottom of the COF press release, are these nuggets:
The U.S. Card subsegment contains the results of the company’s domestic credit card business, as well as small business lending and the installment loan business. The Other National Lending subsegment contains the results of the company’s auto finance business and the company’s international lending businesses. Components of the Other National Lending subsegment are separately disclosed.
— Profits for the National Lending segment were down 7.8 percent compared to the first quarter of 2008, and down 37.2 percent relative to the second quarter of 2007.
— The managed charge-off rate for the National Lending segment increased 33 basis points to 5.67 percent in the second quarter of 2008 from 5.34 percent in the first quarter of 2008.
— The delinquency rate of 4.87 percent in the second quarter of 2008 for the National Lending segment increased from 4.73 percent as of March 31, 2008.
U.S. Card highlights
U.S. Card results in the second quarter reflect continued cyclical credit worsening and the company’s actions to navigate the downturn. The business remains cautious on loan growth and continues to focus its marketing and originations on the parts of the U.S. Card market that the company believes provide the best combination of risk-adjusted returns and losses. The U.S. Card business remains well positioned to successfully navigate near-term challenges and to deliver solid results through the economic cycle.
— U.S. Card reported net income of $340.4 million, a 30.7 percent decrease relative to the first quarter of 2008 and a 42.6 percent decrease relative to the second quarter of 2007. (!!! -ed.)
— Total revenues decreased $280.7 million, or 10.0 percent, compared to the first quarter of 2008 but increased $126.1 million, or 5.2 percent, over the prior year’s same quarter.
— Non-interest expenses declined 3.0 percent over the previous quarter and 5.7 percent relative to the second quarter of 2007.
— Managed loans increased from the first quarter of 2008 by 1.0 percent, or $678.0 million, to $68.1 billion at June 30, 2008, and increased 2.3 percent from the year ago quarter.
Missed earnings again, Seattle Four Eyes? Too fucking bad.
Damn, what a blood bath AH.
Smells like naked short selling in GOOG, can I get an investigation…
goddamn, i KNEW i should have bought the SKF at the close. fuck me and my fruit fly-sized nuts.
Looks like tomorrow will reverse much of my good work the past couple of days.
I’ll be in the closet if anyone needs me.
I call on Merlin … come shake your stick, and whack these banks!
Merrill Write-Down 9.7 BILLION!
Rally MOnkey, don’t leave now. I’ve got a nice big field for you in front of a small earthen rampart. Then you just hold up a big piece of paper in front of youwith some concentric circles on it.
i pray C screws the pooch hard and AAPL misses.
i would love that, because i’m spiteful and hold grudges.
Why is it taking the after hours fucktards so long to hit MER and COF with the banshee stick?
The only explanation I can think of is Paulson and Bernake are doing a “Duke & Duke” imitation and standing in the middle of the open outcry pit —
Get back in there and buy, you fool!
__
MER recovering AH.
edit: just kidding
Oil down, gold up? eeeeeenteresting
That’s right JakeGimp, I’m all over this contagion, making bids and shit.
Fuck all you haters. We’re fucking freezing your bullshit bank accounts. Your online brokerage account is next!
Buy the banks! ….or, we’ll kill you! Er, first we’ll de-bank you…then we’ll kill you!
Either way, you’re dead! Do you hear me? You’re fuckin’ dead! Dead!
Arrrgghhh!!!! Now I’m pissed again!!
P.S…..and fuck Merlin with a double bladed hockey stick!!
Don’t worry, fellahs. I finally tracked down Chivas.
Turns out he’s been training the monkey, sensai-style.
Explains the last couple of days, I guess:
__
check the minute ticker of MER today…. rofl @ whoever leaked the MER earnings at 2:30 PM EST. Good game son.
got back into skf at $140, lets roll
I know my boss, Bill Clinton, made an occasional Lewinsky but he tried awful hard. However, GW and Paulson are the biggest buffoons this side of the Atlantic. And they called us Socialists. If we were socialists then these guys (GW and Paulson) are Marxists.
Jake–thats funny
C”mon kick it kick it!!
Moody’s just cut MER from A2 to A1.
WB just had a surprise inspection in regards to the sale of auction rate securities
http://www.reuters.com/article/rbssFinancialServicesAndRealEstateNews/idUSN1731144720080717?feedType=RSS&feedName=rbssFinancialServicesAndRealEstateNews&rpc=22&sp=true
“The Fly” does not possess such personal character traits. Instead, he gets mad, throws shit around the office, kicks birds, throws pennies at homeless men and speeds off in his fucking car—all the while swearing revenge on the “fucking bastards” who took his money.”
Funny. LOL.
I could relate to everything you said except for the part about kicking birds.
Hmmm….I might have to take action on that one.
The REAL reason SKF went from $210 to $136…
(Myriads of ’em, and mockin’ me wit me own ancestry!)
_
the only thing that’s gone up is financials and some pharma. pharma is phear [sic], and financials is short-covering. doesn’t seem like a lot of substance for any kind of sustained rally. maybe i’m wrong. whatever. i hate stocks anyway.
“Off to buy two jawbreakers with my last 50 cents and have them surgically re-attached with a needle and thread and a Macdonald’s french fry bag where my nutsack used to be.”
Fuck – I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. Dude, I’ve been assraped by the market today/yesterday despite being 80% in cash. EVERYONE is complaining and it’s one fucked up mess out there.
I think Bernanke and Paulson are sitting somewhere deep inside the NYSE behind a curtain pressing buttons at random. Wankers…
Someone ‘splain to me (Loosey) how JPM went up with Jamie Dimon saying shit like this:
“Our expectation is for the economic environment to continue to be weak – and to likely get weaker – and for the capital markets to remain under stress,” he said in a press statement. “We remain conscious that since substantial risks still remain on our balance sheet, these factors will likely affect our business for the remainder of the year or longer.”
And this:
JP Morgan jumped in headlong into jumbos and Alt-A mortgages during 2007 — obviously an ill-timed bet, given where the market has headed.
“We were wrong, we obviously wish we hadn’t done it,” Dimon told analysts. “We’re very early in the loss curve.”
And when his CFO was sayin’ shit like this:
Chief financial officer Michael Cavanagh suggested that roughly 10 percent of the seconds on JP Morgan’s books are currently underwater — meaning that the borrower owes more on their combined mortgages than their home is worth.
“That could be headed to 20 [percent],” he said on the earnings call. “We can’t predict how homeowners will react when they go into negative equity.
“We’re assuming they won’t act well, but it’s possible things aren’t as bad as we expect.”
Asshattery!
Full article can be found here.
__
Fly, you’ve been dead on with many things and i admire your ability to scale into large core positions, however, you failed to realize the last bear rally until it was nearly over. all the signs were there even tho it didn’t fundamentally make sense. don’t make the same mistake this time, although i am not convinced this is a sustainable (1000+ pts on the dow) bear rally yet.
Banks liquidating their positions in oil( Taking ginormous profits) and buying Financials. Got it? It’s really that simple and pathetic on the IB’s parts. Why? They’re not quite sure if Wash. bails rhey’re asses out or not. In a few days, the skewering of financials will resume as intended. You may then short at will.
Loosey explains:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TGq_UVnNYY
PB&J “Amsterdam,” Spec Boogie/Loosey Remix
Ha! Fuck COF!
http://www.newsdaily.com/stories/n17349852-capitalone-results/
To Fly,
Hmmm. Have you been wearing neon gay ear plugs, or was the tofu face cream doing a number on your eyes ! Not to see oil getting hit, I must say you are living in a doll house, changing outfits with barbie and sleeping with ken…Pulezz !
Go fuck a racehorse.
S&P Banking index up over 25% in last 2 days…Rally monkey tying Mr. Mortgage down on the railroad tracks…But look!!! Here comes Fly on a white horse, will he be able to save him?????
people who rip on the fly-
i guess you have never seen the wizard of oz?
silly rabbits……
I told Mr. Mortgage that the rally was going to be fucking violent.
I hope he listened, or that he has big balls, or both.
In The Air Tonight
“nullpointer Says:
people who rip on the fly-
i guess you have never seen the wizard of oz?
silly rabbits……”
Or Willie Wonka.
Oh Boy … look at this shit! Capitalism, sheep herder style:
http://bigpicture.typepad.com/comments/2008/07/pakistani-inves.html
We have a new plan next beginning next week. We will call it Positive interest. We reduce interest rates to -1.5%.
That is correct – we will pay you to borrow. Some day your children will all speak Mandrin, but that’s not important now…
hahaha
what a scam. FRE ‘mulling’ $10B stock offering.
http://www.reuters.com/article/bondsNews/idUSSP7134320080718
Aris,
That, looks like some pre-arranged money grabbin’ shit.