iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,441 Blog Posts

The Bear Market Has Been Postponed

In the meantime, let’s all have a ball killing a few million bears, while smoking crack pipes outside CNBC’s global headquarters.

It must have been a tough night for the European and Asian bankers, who are allegedly in the midst of a heated and contentious bidding war, for the corn can fuckers over at BEAR STERNS [sic].

Everyone wants a piece of the BEAR now, as the balls from the bull slap the bears—on its way higher.

What credit crisis?

That was so early January 2008. Ever since our politicians “saved us” with the stimulus package, coupled with Bernanake’s rogue trader induced 75bps EMERGENCY cut, the markets have nothing to fear, with the exception of homo-hammers on a Friday afternoon.

Fuck it, with my money, I’ll just wait a couple hundred more DOW points, then dive in head first. Whether there will be water in the proverbial pool I’m diving into is irrelevant. What’s important to note is that [[BSC]] is “TOO GOOD” to stay independent.

You heard it here second.

As for the markets:

[[MSFT]] had great numbers. [[BRCM]], and other fuckers, beat lowered expectations. What we’re witnessing now is a caffeinated short squeeze. Quite honestly, you don’t have to think, in order to bank a little coin in this market.

Look, if some asshole wants to get in your way, when trying to go long 10,000 shares of [[FSLR]], you tell him to go “fuck a goat” or you will “punch his eyebrows clean off.”

It’s that simple.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a bull market.

NOTE: At the time of this post, “The Fly” was under the care of the friendly people at his local mental institution.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

23 comments

  1. alphadawgg

    Homies melting up this morning. Couples will use their $1,200 rebate check to put a down payment on a brand new McMansion.

    Good times!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. The Fly

    BRAND NEW.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. CubsRock

    The Fly must have had a Green Monster today, too much sugar!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  4. Helicopter Ben

    BEHOLD YOUR LORD, THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

    I can’t believe you guys doubted me.

    Think I can prop up the markets until November?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  5. Alvari40

    Lightening up on my longs here. It’s been a nice run but the snap back rally needs to be taken with a bit-o-objectivity. Once I get that itch, I either need to lighten up or see a doctor. I opted for lightening up since my wife would be pissed if I went to the doctor – hope I’m right. Took some profits in RIMM and CMO as well. Thanks Fly for the CMO call. Gonna chill and stare at the charts through the Fed announcement. Went long another block of APA. Earnings coming out early next month, has had a nice drawdown, so expect a nice push up into earnings. Still 70% cash.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  6. JakeGint

    I know you’re being sarcastic, but here’s some more ammo.

    Take a 60 day chart of the Cubes and draw a line starting at their “crack” on Boxing Day (December 26th).

    Continue the line down through 12/31, into the New Year through the Jan 3rd and 14th lower highs and draw it through today.

    Notice anything?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  7. Green Writer

    It’s an oversold bear trap rally that most will mistake for a bull market return. I say we have upside till tuesday morning barring any bond insurer or bank bankruptcy.
    Wait for ADP and FED on Wednesday…if its no good we get to reload on shorts and look for 1000 plus points of downside on the DOW.

    Althouhg it is worth mentioning that some foreign hedge fund covered their 18 million share short on XLF tuesday morning.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  8. Can of Corn Humper
    Can of Corn Humper

    It’s spelled Bear Stearns, not Sterns.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  9. Juice

    I put on a small bear trade early in trading . Emphasis on small. I expect it to pay off next week.

    No fed move. Bad selloff thursday.

    Today , inside day.

    Toast du jour

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  10. alphadawgg

    GW,
    The bond insurer bailout for companies like ABK and MBI is probably not going to happen.

    Think about it. We are at a time when total exposure is impossible to calculate.

    It’s better for executives and private equity types to form new start ups, than to invest in the existing companies.

    Wipe the slate clean and let’m fail, I say.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  11. Juice

    Great bit on the recession trade from Woody Dorsey.

    Knowing the Known

    Everyone now knows there is a recession, as shown by the Market Semiotics Slogan Search shown below. Slogan searches measure the contrarian potential of ideas in financial culture.

    But investors should beware of what everyone else is aware of and be aware of what other investors are ignoring. The recession slogan wasn’t on the radar a few months ago. Now it is The Meme, The Buzz, The Who and The How. It looks like it has already peaked, in terms of popularity. Indeed, it was the propaganda that Mr. Market used to top bonds, bottom stocks and correct commodities. Therefore, there is no recession, for now, since it is already known and already traded. Since it is already known, it has no power, near term. Recession has receded. Stocks have discounted the stag, for now, but not the ‘flation.

    http://www.minyanville.com/articles/gold-stocks-commodities-recession/index/a/15666

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  12. Gunners

    bear market returneth?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  13. nullpointer

    jake-

    very cool – thanks!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  14. calvino

    gaytrading little ticks of doodoo bidu and fslr – banking pennies.

    bidu is a setup for real short , the POS jrjc popped it’s pinty little head, and is folding, the dumb chic in tampons for boots is folding too. crm – trading at 600 times next years earnings is in Warrne Buffet’s sights now, no doubt.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  15. alphadawgg

    Anybody think EMC is good here? It reports on 01/29 before the open. EPS will probably be in line, to slightly higher than guidance.

    But when you subtract out it’s ownership % in VMW, the stock is trading around $4/sh.

    Hard to guage near term direction given an in line report. Also uncertainty about IT spending this year may keep it down.

    May be more of a value play, but I might buy it if the market has bottomed and the hypothical recession is over.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  16. JJ2000426

    The FLY:

    There is a gigantic PANIC buy in platinum and palladium today. Don’t you see it? Don’t you understand why SWC is up so much.

    Buy some SWC or buy some PAL. If I were you, buy PAL here.

    http://www.apmex.com

    Platinum ready to push through $1700 today, just one day after it pushed through $1600 yesterday!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  17. DanB

    OK JJ you were right. Shut the fuck up, we get it. A broken clock is also right twice/day.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  18. Juice

    JJ: more meds

    and if I was gonna play platinum or Palladium, it certainly wouldn’t be thru those dogs of your choice … I’d do a pear trade of long the metals/ short SWC PAL

    now, go triple dose your meds

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  19. jeff -

    skf

    update: don’t listen to anyone in a bow tie

    shit, what are the components of skf?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  20. JakeGint

    Oops!

    Da Bearz.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  21. ByeByeBankies

    SKF looking to return to prominence

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  22. JakeGint

    EWZ came back and hit the underside of that same fib line (23.6%, @74.75) I shorted it at more than a week ago, for the “full circuit.”

    While I didn’t have the nads to buy it after I’d covered, I’m thinking real hard about slamming it again here.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"