I AM IN A PERPETUAL STATE OF WINSHIP

I have a piece of shit penny stock that I am keeping secret from your FUCKERS, which is up 100% the past few days. All of the gents and ladies in Exodus have purchased said shares and have bought lambos with the proceeds.

Also, I sold SCWX for 10.5%.

Also, I bought WTER — because they put pot in alkaline water. How can you go wrong?

Bear witness to my JVA, TLRY and ZYNE positions, and SONO, and now STFU.

Most of you behaved like 15 year old boys last night — eating ‘hoagies’ and drinking inordinate amount of Coors Light, which we learned his made with lots and lots of corn syrup. I will have you know, Le Fly only nibbled on some chicken wings that he made, which was lightly imbued with a homemade teriyaki sauce. The great thing about knowing how to cook is eating well.

My beverage choice was Apple cider, low ABV, then topped off with some whiskey later on in the evening once the company began to wane on me and become heavy and unbearable. I was glad to say goodbye and, quite frankly, I wish I never have to see them again.

Early this morning, it looks like Starboard is attempting to dick-around with PZZA. Whatever. Who orders that nonsense anymore? I’m guessing people who cannot cool and therefore do not eat well.

Buried in the Papa John’s release on $200 million investment from Starboard: Same-store sales fell 10.5% in January, worse than the 8.1% decline in 4Q.

Reasons: Brand challenges, loyalty program conversion and “ineffective promotions in the heightened competitive environment."

— Jonathan Maze (@jonathanmaze) February 4, 2019

My ZYNE is popping pre-market. Other than that, only gold is notable to the downside. I expect another easy day for stocks — drifting, mind you, higher — under a cloud of protection by the Federal Reserve. On a personal front, not much doing for me today — but a busy schedule for the rest of the week.

Tom Brady won again. Deal with it, FagLords. It’s true, I am both a wordsmith and a belligerent malcontent from a corridor of Brooklyn — pre-gentrification.

Here’s a chart for you lemon-grabbers to choke on. What say you?

Yesterday we discussed the important matter of breakfast. Today, we will discuss lunch.

In my experiences as a gentleman stockbroker, the people who ventured off for lunch were sloth-like wastrels. They were the people who were fat around the gullet, obediently caving into to misanthropic behavior — eating their lives away in the middle of the day, for the purposes of having a break. In my world, lunch is for wimps. One does not take lunch breaks — because one has things to do.

“Lunch should be banned at the corporate level — because it denigrates productivity and leads the help down a ruinous path of unhealthy living and obesity, which in turn is the leading cause of diabetes and divorce.” — Le Fly

It’s a terrible habit, venturing off for lunch. Most of the time it’s an expensive affair, steak at noon, paired with a delicious béarnaise and perhaps a glass of Bordeaux — maybe three. By the time you get back to the office, the day is nearly done. You’ll remain in your seat for most of the day, digesting too much food, tired and whimsically stupid from the wine. Dare I say, employers should prohibit lunch all together and instead hire in house chef’s to prepare health meals for the work force. People cannot be given the responsibility of choosing their own intra-day meals. Some will cheapen the affair and eat junk, others will overdo it and place themselves into a food coma. Given the fatness of America, very few, statistically speaking, will eat a meaningful healthy lunch.

When at home and on the weekends, Le Fly has been known to nibble on small morsels of grilled chicken, strands of lettuce, maybe even a tiny bit of bread — if feeling especially famished, for the express purposes of extended his appetite into a supple sup.

You needn’t ever buy boxes of cereal from the store. If you do, bear in mind that is the preferred meal of homeless people around the world. And, the contents inside said boxes are genetically modified to provide you with a life time of diabetes and cancer. I know these things. Trust me, I’m a Dr.

Adding sugar to anything is never appropriate, unless of course you’re mixing cocktails and desperately find yourself in need of a ginger rosemary pear simple syrup to wash in with a jigger of gin and some lemon juice. I will reserve a cocktail post for a later date.

This morning I made myself a simple bowl of oated meal. I do not buy the barrel ass brown sugar, maple syrup crap — just plain old rolled oats. To flavor the oats, I neatly placed one teaspoon of locally sources honey and several dashes of cinnamon. My beverage of choice — coffee — fresh ground. Normally, I prefer it black, but there are times when I need the temperature lower and I am forced to put milk. It should be noted, I also place the milk in BEFORE the coffee. This way when the scalding hot coffee is splashed into the cup — a slight emulsification occurs. If given more time, I’d simply make myself a latte, which is better. That requires 1/4 cup of espresso, 3/4ths heated and frothed milk. For cappuccinos, 50/50 split.

Other go to morning meals include:

French Omelette. This isn’t Grandma’s fucked up charred egg dish. You need to manage the heat for the French Omelette and ensure you do not brown it at all. The inside should not be well done when you roll it and place it into dish. Chef Pepin is the master at the omelette. You can view it here, thru some guy attempting to duplicate Pepin’s process.

French toast.

Two eggs. 4 pieces of bread. milk, cinnamon, vanilla extract. You are making a custard and dipping your bread into it. The way people fuck up this recipe is my under-stirring the eggs. The result is fucking eggs on their bread and it looks disgusting and people want to kill you.

Panned cakes.

Flour, milk, vanilla, butter, pinch of salt, baking powder. DO NOT OVERMIX. That will make panned cakes rubbery.

Smoked salmon.

Cut up salmon, add lemon, mayonnaise, bourbon, pinch salt, serve with poached egg and bellini. This is a complicated process and recipe. You can view it here.

Lastly, there are many other ways to prefer eggs. For sunny side, place a little butter in pan, crack egg, and cover it. That’s how you cook the top — you fucking morons. For soft boiled, bring water to the boil, place eggs in pot — remove from pot after exactly 6 minutes and into cold water to stop cooking. You will find the 6 minute egg to be prefect, just like this blog.

I don’t want to hear anything about Amazon being in a ‘bear market’ — or how the market really reversed today and let us down. I don’t want to hear shit — because crude is soaring and that’s all you need to know. Imagine yourself to be a complete idiot, not so much different from your present form. You’re trying your hand at stocks and desperately need an edge.

ENTER CRUDE.

Crude will show you the promise land. The market is fixated on it, believe me.

As for me, I am sure you’ve all been so fucking concerned with my state of affairs. I see you left 5 god damned messages on my pervious post. I’m guessing all there is to this god forsaken site has already been extracted and neatly placed in Exodus. Over there, we have a grand old time, belly-flopping into pools of penny stocks that double over night. It begs the question — should I ever bother to keep writing here? That last sentence is more important than you think — and I’m sure some of you absolute apes missed it and glossed over it as more Fly nonsense.

I’ve tried my hand at just about all forms of creative writing since I started iBC. I’ve been ribose, distinguished, kind, mean, political, comedic, melancholy — and now I’m being mature. This blog has exceeded its utility and has graced the internets with thousands of hours of laughter and insightful commentary. However, I am pressed for time and would like to dedicate myself to a life of leisure, spending time by the fire with a brandy — reading a good book.

I just got done reading East of Eden and it took my a while to finish — because I read 3-4 books at a time. Let me tell you, Steinbeck is a master and an unbelievable story teller. What a magnificent piece of art. His prose isn’t exactly my favorite. For that I still prefer F. Scott — but I’ve never read a book as grande and thoroughly perfect as East of Eden.

Currently, I am reading The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman. I suggest you do the same.

Markets are sweeping gently into the bell. It was a fine week and you need to stop panicking. Crude is up, after all.

There isn’t anything more to discuss. This is settled science. We broke out clean, another big ass white candle.

I sold APHA for +22%.

I replaced it with ZYNE.

I booked my Quant trades today and posted the new one in Exodus today. For February, we are half defensive, half value, zero GLD or TLT.

I’m still fully invested, so I cannot make any new buys at this present time. I might move some things around, however, should I find something interesting.

Futures are racing higher again, once again buoyed by oil — because the end of western finance as we know it failed again. We must continue to dredge on, brightly, in spite of our repeated attempts at cataclysm.

The payrolls numbers were much better than expected. Does this mean, not that the squall has passed, the Fed will reinstitute their schemes to hike rates again?

January Nonfarm Payrolls 304K vs 160K

Futures are +100, and WTI is +0.4%. Back in the old days of December — markets did not bottom on Fridays. Nowadays, they do not flag or waiver. They eagerly trade higher.

If you’re betting against stocks still, obstinately losing in the midst of a sea of win — you’re trending now, so congratulations. You will continue to lose, indefinitely, and when markets finally crack lower — you will fail to cover your shorts — due to their deep out of the money condition. In other words, what the fuck are you doing?

Clean slate and get back to work.

I had a grande day today. It wasn’t supposed to be this good; but then again, the rich are always entreated to afternoon delights. I was in my study toiling away doing Capstone after Capstone conferences, and then all of my stocks went higher, almost in unison. While this was transpiring, Joe Blow was getting his brains frozen in Chicago, trying to buy a pair of mittens at the local bodega.

Here in Princeton, NJ, I was comforted by a pleasant glowing fire and the subtle sounds of old oak creaking throughout my expansive home. All of the rugs tidy and ornately designed, perfectly matching my imported furniture and blending in beautifully with the neutral colored walls racing throughout the house, skipped over every 20 feet or so by thickly gilded picture frames around oil paintings. If you get close enough, you can sometimes smell the oil, or perhaps imagine it.

I even bought a rather low brow CBD-Coffee company today, for only 5 or 6 cents. It was something given to me by a member of Exodus and I cannot share it with you — because it’s for members only.

Ah, the feeling of triumph after a short and easy fought battle. Some of us were chosen to win and others to rot away, salting the earth with our refuse. “The Fly” is a genetically superior being, gifted and blessed with the smarts of a scientist — personality of a celebrated entertainer.

My three biggest winners today were APHA, JVA, DTEA, and of course NUGT — a 10% position of mine. I am quite affable while offering you my insight and generous, charitable even. I am the nicest person that I know — and that’s because I have nothing to worry about, no trials or tribulations, no hard fought battles, nothing but steak dinners and well crafted cocktails — friends and laughter — a buoyancy in the quality of my life that can only be expressed through the grande and loquacious missives of the vainglorious Fly.

Under no circumstances can I lose money in the pastiche of pot stocks I find myself now.

Presently, I am long APHA, TLRY, JVA and DTEA — the last two being my aggressive lotto styled picks. If I didn’t have so much exposure already, I’d be buying PYX here with animalistic fervor.

Doctors are assholes. All you need to do is smoke pot, or ingest some brownies laced heavily with THC, and enjoy the duration of your lives listening to yellow jazz music and drinking bright martinis. There isn’t a single thing cannabis can’t cure. From the flu to small dick syndrome, CBD oil is the elixir you deserve.

One of the great side addendums to being an avid user of indica is the additive bonus of delusion and whitened prospects about the future. Gone are the days of gray and gloomy government malfeasance. In are the days of purple clouds and vibrant green fields, eloquently graced with nature’s design of pink flowers and ancient chestnut trees to provide shade and sustenance. I cannot think of a single thing that can go wrong here, barreling in swiftly and with confidence, pot stocks, conducting business thru various means — supplying the people with the sleep tonic they need to help maintain a happy and fat existence.