Cleaning House

I have an interesting situation on my hands here, with my largest position Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] getting its cock blow torched. Just to be clear, FTK is my largest position, only because I sold everything else. In the big scheme of things, it’s only 5-8% of tradeable assets. Thanks to FTK’s 20% swan dive, I find myself down more than 5%, intra-day. Additionally, I do not believe the market will stop going lower here. In addition to that, I have been holding numerous positions that did not take off during the recent run. Pay attention Ladies, I am about to school you.

Because these positions were neutral to weak in a bull market, I know those fuckers will get “mushroom clouded” in a bad one. As a result of today’s black swan event, I am cleaning house—raising my cash levels to greater than 60%. The cash will not be held for more than a few days. I just need some time to figure out my next moves/set of positions.

I sold out of the following:

Chipotle Mexican Grill, Inc. [[CMG]] , Advanced Micro Devices, Inc. [[AMD]] , Brocade Communications Systems, Inc. [[BRCD]] , Ceragon Networks Ltd. [[CRNT]] and ON Semiconductor Corp. [[ONNN]] .

For now, I will hold the balance of my Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , TeleCommunication Systems, Inc. [[TSYS]] , American Capital Ltd. [[ACAS]] , [[UNG]] , TEKELEC [[TKLC]] , Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]], Level 3 Communications, Inc. [[LVLT]] and [[ENTR]] positions.

NOTE: iBankCoin has a special guest blogger en route. Developing….

First, with regards to the trash haulers at Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] : they just reported an abysmal quarter. Their capital raise is not ideal, but better than the easy fix, which is a debt for equity swap. With the money they raised, the company lives to fight another day. I view the departure of the CEO as a positive development, mainly because he is old/stupid and sucks goat balls. Thank God the stock went parabolic to the upside, for little more than a week, prior to today’s castration. My sense, today will suck; but there are brighter days ahead. People who are short the stock, down in the 1’s, were doing so with the hopes of a pending bankruptcy. With today’s news, that is off the table; hence, the short covering will begin shortly.

The overall market is very weak, and may mark the beginning of a 5-10% correction. There is something different about today’s drop. It feels more real, like it has meaning. I will not be buying this dip. At the moment, I am blessed with a 35% cash position and the patience of an Ox in a fresh water lake, with lots of snacks lying around.

Aside from FTK and Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , my positions are doing okay. Nonetheless, Flotek is certainly fucking with my numbers—pushing me deep in the red for the day.

In short: I am not buying the dip, nor am I hedging. I am just waiting around for something interesting to happen.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOfyBtuyi8U 616 500]

“The Fly” was busy all day, fighting off “nerdtrons,” who were speeding up and down Wall Street in their fucking FAZ-mobiles. At the first sight of weakness, especially in Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] , the fucktarded nerds come out of their caves, straight to the SRS-spaceshuttle for take off. When that fails, they board the FXP-unicycle, dressed in green leotards, attempting to roll over men in BIG fucking tanks, who have nuclear cannons balls ready to explode in their fucking faces.

Go ahead, fucktard, give me your best shot. My longs will turn your fucking head into magic dust.

As an aside, I enjoyed wins today in Pacific Capital Bancorp [[PCBC]] , Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , American Capital Ltd. [[ACAS]] , SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] and Level 3 Communications, Inc. [[LVLT]] . All in all, I was a net seller, blowing out of SD, PCBC and a bit of HBAN. I added to ACAS and do not give a fuck what your charts say.

I bought 10,000 American Capital Ltd. [[ACAS]] @ $3.03.

Disclaimer: If you buy ACAS because of this post, you will day-trade yourself into oblivion. And, you will lose money.

Believe me, much of what I do is not appreciated. I’ve been bowling on fuckers for decades now, going back to when I was young. I remember throwing people out of trees and tossing people into the deep end of the pool, over minor quibbles. I’ve been running the “blog game” for 3 years now. Over that time, I have established a very recognizable presence, due to my “white robe” ways and diamond encrusted chalice swagger. I have defeated multiple TIM’s and made the dumbest of you, DEVILDOG, JOSH1ngU, etc, into my internet doormats.

It all started with my crazy thoughts on a blogspot site, which has evolved into a top rated financial website/powerhouse, hosting dozens of writers—and lots of crazy clowns.

I’ve been cutting carrots, while having my balls on the kitchen table, for quite a while now. I remember, back in the old days growing up in Brooklyn, playing tag in old abandoned factories—fucking with gravity. Fast forward to today, “The Fly” is unable to descend. I’m shooting so high, one might think I was retarded or some shit.

I digress.

At the end of the day, it’s my word against yours. I’ve been mastering my trade here, for hundreds of years (The Fly was a money manager in all previous lives), while you’ve been keeping busy polishing the evening silverware because your stupid wife ordered you to.

This blog is a gift. You have no idea how lucky you are, for even reading my insults catapulted into your laps, like a meatball attached to a fucking atomic bomb. I am long Pacific Capital Bancorp [[PCBC]] , Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] , ON Semiconductor Corp. [[ONNN]] —the list goes on and on.

To sum up this post: I am getting richer by the second, while you waste away in your bullshit pleather chair from Staples. Do not player hate. Instead, hate the game.

Top picks: Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , American Capital Ltd. [[ACAS]]

UPDATE: I sold out of [[PCBC]] @ $3.33

What’s with your obsession to be 100% right, all the time? The best investors out there get shit wrong all the time. However, it’s the level of “wrongness” that separates them from you aka internet tradebot. Case in point: into sharp rallies, most retail investors lever up and go “balls on the kitchen table–while chopping carrots” long the market. Unfortunately, often times they are helping institutions get liquid into a crescendo of selling.

I may be barking up the wrong tree with many of you, since the holding pattern of the people on this site seems to be shorter than the time it takes me to take a leak at my favorite urinal. However, God willing, there are some of you out there who still swing for the fences, hoping for the game winning Grand Slam in the bottom of the ninth (against the Mets, of course). To those people, I warn you: Senor Tropicana will miss the top, mainly because he will not attempt to catch it. In the past, I made every effort to catch big inflection points, just so that I could dance on the graves of my enemies, with a little more frequency. However, with more than half of 2009 behind us and my gains built up to obscene levels—not 300% obscene, but obscene nonetheless— I am opting to play small and bold, instead of large and scared.

Do the math yourself, you stupid bastards. If you have a 50% gain, year to date, take 1/3rd off the table and keep playing. You don’t need to go 100% cash at the sight of every fucking sell-off. People, that is rookie shit, foolishly running up transaction costs due to amateurish fear.

Man the fuck up and choose your position. If you think the market is a short, leg into short positions, NOT inverse etf’s. That’s so 2007.

If you are bullish, float in and out of your favorite stocks, if you must. But, keep the long exposure at a constant 65%+, at all times. In the event the market melts the fuck down, you will not be badly impaired holding a 35% cash position. Furthermore, you can always use 20% of your cash for hedges, going short assholes stocks, with asinine valuations. I can name more than a few right now, particularly in the coffee space.

In short, “The Fly” is having a banner year, with gains coming out of his ears and nose. Barring some sort of “40oz. cracked over your head” situation, I will be riding this fucker out (the bull), until the legs fall off.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8N3sB_YNOM 616 500]

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzy2dgEUOhY 616 500]

It’s the sound of your money being transferred to me, Mr. Bearshitter. I don’t care if the market drops 1,000 on Monday. You, Sir, with all of your dire warnings, have failed to be a voice of reason, for the investing public. If you want to give opinions, be sure to know whatever it is that you are talking about—prior to going public. Do not make believe to be an authority, based upon wild theories or lines on charts.

Tell me where the money is going; then I will listen to you. Show me an earnings shortfall, then point to where you suggested going short ahead of the news.

Frankly, being on the inside looking out, I feel sorry for some of you clueless fuckers, unable to get even one call right.

Remember, investing is not for everyone. It has taken me 20 years of study to fuck with this market, the way I do, like a remote control car. Don’t think for a second that investing is easy, else bastards like me will fleece you of all of you coin, inside a short trading week.

Enjoy the weekend.