iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,446 Blog Posts

Fly Buy: PSUN

Playing with house money, I bought another 50,000 shares of PSUN.

Disclaimer: Space alien magician at work here. Fuck off.

Comments »

Rib Eyes, Expensive Grapes, No Rapes

Thanks to the Turkey Gods, “The Fly” is having an epic week, currently at all time highs, up 45%+ for the year. Who’s counting, really?

Some of you ball jugglers were talking a lot of shit about a month ago when VXX hit me for a a few. There was no mention that I performed the same exact VXX trade during the Flash Crash and made a few. Some of you just like to talk shit, so I’m gonna do it for you.

You claim to be a good trader or an honest broker, but never offer clear concise thoughts/actionable trading ideas. You can’t fuck with my pedigree. You are simply less than Fly. I leave it all on the table, while you dick suckers get angry and jealous. Do not get envious of my pie, for it is not yours. You may not have a slice, for you are too dirty.

Going into the final hours of trade, I endeavor to outstrip you.

Comments »

Fly Buy: LIZ

I bought 75,000 LIZ at these levels.

Bet against me. See where it gets you.

Comments »

The Turkey Gods Stake Claim to FTK

“The Fly” has been busy counting his money. Flotek is humming, partly thanks to new business in the country of Turkey. Whether it be the food version of the country, Turkey wins again.

Having said that, the short squeeze is on and there is nothing you little trollops can do. The market is set to go green. You cannot keep a good clam down. So, we’re clamming higher.

Cheers!

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aB9Jtc-b90 616 500]

Comments »

Red For Now

ANN will squeeze higher today on better than expected results. You need to pay attention to this trade: retail names with large short positions. Think CROX.

Everyone is betting against retail because fuckers from the midwest are on meth, unemployed and plain old stupid. However, you forget how rich your NYC/LA masters are. NYC alone can carry many of these retail names, AND MORE. Having said that, I am comfortable long PSUN, THQI and will look to buy LIZ. My only reservation with LIZ is the fact that JCP stole Claiborne from under them, leaving LIZ with an uncertain future. However, if management is successful in developing their new brands, LIZ can really, really rip higher.

I know the futures are pointing to a lower open; but I will be shocked if we close down today. Bernanke is a manic without a leash and is hellbent on biting short sellers in the face.

CSCO announced a gargantuan $10 billion share buyback . Expect mergers and buybacks to reign supreme, especially on market pullbacks. In other words, there is a put in this market.

Comments »

The TSA is Freedom

I love discussing “freedom” late at night. The whole TSA conversation has me APPALLED, by many of you fatties, who are afraid to show your tits. Look, the TSA is awesome. Those fuckers are fondling America, one retard at a time. Not only that, they get to laugh at all of the portly fuckers walking through their “freedom machines.” Cool job if you ask me. God willing, future generation XRAY VISION RAPE MACHINES will include heavy lye and sterilization processes, in order to cleanse the American dirtbag of his/her bed bugs. As you well know, this is an epidemic.

God bless Michael Chertoff and his consulting group for mysteriously landing the contract with the TSA to “examine” America between their tits, balls, vaginas and buttocks.

As a side note, a lovely story of TSA magic from Redstate.

Comments »

African Masks, Bow Ties and Black Flags

Today’s tape is scaring the shit out of short sellers, so I figured it was my duty to lend to the anxiety. I just got back from Wall Street, where I startled piker brokers with my African mask and multiple bow ties. That’s right, Jim Rogers doesn’t have shit on me. “The Fly” wears multiple bow ties, when dressed to impress. The whole African mask thing is something I took from my sons art project. It is scary as shit and makes stock brokers panic by the sheer sight of it.

I received a text message this morning from some guy who has like $25 in his account with me. It read: “please get me an allocation of GM’s ipo. I will wire you the money immediately.” My response, as you could imagine: “go fuck yourself.”

See folks, clients are not special. They’re just people who think they are special. In reality, they are assholes, just like you. I make it a point to let people know how insignificant they really are, with regards to my personal life. I do not need their business, nor do I really want it. It’s a job, not so much different than picking up trash or mopping hot tar on a roof. My job is to make lots of money for people and take a cut of said money, so that I can finance projects designed to undermine the fabric of society.

We’re going gangbusters here, folks. We are in a LONG ONLY market, where shorting leaves you dead in the street, sans African mask. I like retail, going into Black Friday. Names like LIZ, PSUN, ANN and THQI interest me. I’m also interested in pressing the shorts in FTK. You know those fuckers are squirming, hoping the pain will stop. They figure the stock is up huge and it needs to rest a little.

WRONG.

There will be no respite, nor safe quarter—just African masks, bow ties and black flags.

NOTE: December seasonality screens are up in The PPT. Very interesting data.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlX-b0mWPK4 616 500]

Comments »

Fly Buy: THQI, WFR

Added to the pig named WFR. And, I bought 50,000 THQI, in the $4.70’s.

Disclaimer: I ride in spaceships and shit. This sort of investing is advanced and should not be replicated by mere pedestrians. Failure to adhere to these “laws of reason” will result in a cataclysmic lightening storm outside your residence and ridiculous monetary loss.

Comments »

Fuck You, America is Back

Fuck you and your fancy euro-garbage can car, or your Japanese heap of shit. Here in America, we got F and GM and other shit.  We pay our workers like 3x what you pay yours, because they’re American and make better shit than you. As you can see, by the ipo price of GM, we (us Americans) are a great success. When the stock trades up to $54, the government will break even on their GM “investment.” Isn’t that great?

For whatever reason, I was wrong buying FAZ yesterday, so I quickly sold it this morning for a 40 cent loss. In the big scheme of things, I piss on 40 cent losses.

Immediately, I started bulking up on PSUN. I wanted to buy LIZ and FLS too, but the shadows near my favorite urinal threatened to decapitate me if I did that. So for now, I am cash rich, but all long.

In case you are wondering where to put money: look no further than names with heavy short positions, like PSUN, LIZ, ANN, JCG, CAKE, UA etc. For PPT users, here is your screen.

As an aside, the friendly fuckers from FTK will be attending meetings in NYC soon, in order to “shore up” investor sentiment. In other words, they are meeting with some institutional investors. Hear me now: the stock trades north of $3 before Turkey day.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qwsdq69AHnw&feature=youtube_gdata_player 616 500]

Comments »

Fly Buy: PSUN

I bought 50,000 PSUN in the low 6’s.

Disclaimer: If you buy PSUN because of this post, your  computer will electrocute you. And, you may lose money.

Comments »