Fly Buy: MOTR

I bought a little MOTR in my personal.

Disclaimer: MOTR boating

Burger flippers versus Copper miners.

Any questions?

S&P futures are up about 5, off the highs. BIIB, AAPL, FFIV, TZOO and SINA are early movers, with the latter getting ape raped by a silly analyst downgrade. The big story is the dollar, now in range of an all-time low. My advice to you: don’t vacation in Paris this summer, as a bag of pomme frites will likely cost you $100 by then.

It’s funny how the Fed gets away with targeting asset prices, as if that had zero effect on poor fuckers. Coupled with their zero interest rate policy, one might surmise the Fed is intentionally trying to kill senior citizens. Think about it: how is Grandma going to pay for a $100 tomato if she can’t garner interest in her CD’s? Think about it.

I have an interest in tech today and will be placing some buy orders.

On a final note: I’d like to tip my cap to Steve Jobs for making America relevant again in the field of electronics. Before Apple, we had nothing. The Japanese were kicking our asses and we were the laughing stock of the world. If Apple could make automobiles, we’d have a reason to buy American. See you stupid fuckers from Ford and GM, all it takes is a little genius and a lot of work to make a superior product. Apple’s success is a beacon of light in the middle of a very dark place for American industry and innovation.

Even though I am holding onto my positions, that shouldn’t stop you from booking profits. This is a war and I do not care if my arms are blown off of my torso. However, I bet you like your arms and would prefer to use them for the rest of your lives. Leave me here in the bunker, where I will continue to press my luck with oversized, balls on the counter while speed chopping carrots, investments.I intend to juggle pinless hand grenades until my bones are used for fertilizer. The rest of you should celebrate today’s gains over a fine Malbec.

On a personal level, I am rampantly overzealous with my expectations of great success. In my head, there is nothing in the world that can stop me, not even plumbing disasters of biblical proportions. German markets were up nearly 3% today, From my vantage point, we have another 1.5% to go, before we rest.

Top picks: SHLD, WNR, OXY

You didn’t need to analyze charts or fair value analysis to capture today’s gains. All you needed was a little faith in Ben Bernanke and his printing press ways. It is in the best interest of the ruling class to see the markets higher. Look, most you bible thumpers visit churches and eat stale bread because you believe it is the body of God’s son. How absurd. If you could believe that, why not believe The Clam has special powers to control the market, like a marionette?

On the eyes of Colonel Gadaffi’s first son, I reckon this here market is going a lot higher. We are climbing the great wall of worry and pissing on the climbers down below.

I stepped out of most of my MWW position, due to the “dumbness” of the volatility in that name. I didn’t help my beta problem with my SHLD buy; but I’m an addict, so melt away into a sewer drain.

Based upon last night’s earnings, tech is a buy again. You have to acknowledge the INTC numbers as something more than a one off event. Over the past few weeks, semis have sold off hard. I like FORM here, for the win.

In summary, keep your stock picking game on a high level, sticking with us here, and have a little faith in The Bearded Clam—or you will descend into the fiery pits of hell when you die.

I bought 10,000 SHLD, right here, for the squeeze.

Disclaimer: If you buy SHLD because of this post, the next time you visit Kmart armed robbers with ski-masks will hold you hostage inside of it.

I sold 90% of my position for a 10% gains.

I don’t need to say anything to you. I will let the market speak for me.

Fuck off.

For the first time in a long time, I ventured off into the dark abyss of the financial blogosphere. Mainly, ideas were plentiful, some cogent others not-so-much. However, the overall common denominator is the incredibly low IQ’s of the gurus professing investment acumen. Most of these men can’t string 10 sentences together, without committing heinous syntax errors, let alone teach me how to bank coin. All in all, the grammar is nothing less than an abomination out there.

If I was terrible at fixing bathroom pipes, I would not advertise in my local newspaper “handyman available, specializing in fixing bathroom pipes.” The very notion that you muster the nerve to blog, without knowing how to write and speak proper English, is shameful. SHAME ON YOUR HOUSE, in all seriousness.

After throwing almonds at my screen, disgusted by the lack of creativity on the web, I ventured back to iBC and was equally chagrined. Quite honestly, if I was viewing iBC, particularly Fly blog, for the very first time, I’d think “The Fly” was a Goddamned idiot (note: I am permitted to say “Goddamned” because I know he is a figment of your overzealous imagination). With all of the cursing and joshing around, I’m afraid this website is being misrepresented by some deranged rapper with a few million worth of diamond necklace money sloshing around the markets for sport.

Plainly, your opinions are not all that important to me. I do not say that out of disrespect or disdain for my readership. Don’t get me wrong: if I read harsh criticisms, they sting for about 1-3 minutes. Then I remember how “awesome and amazing” my $30,000 “bathroom problem” is and I forget all about it. Life is too short to worry about the opinions of those who do not truly know you. The important factor that has me on this train of thought is my children. Tooth fairy forbid my teenage son logged on and saw the drivel posted here, I’d be shamed for about 3-6 minutes. In all seriousness, I do not conduct myself in the same manner in real life, as I do here.

I’m not getting all emotional about this issue, quite the contrary. It’s very likely I will continue to tell you to “fuck off” in between sips of hot hot coffee. However, just know, eventually, this shit you read here will need to be watered down, as I ride into the sunset, an old goat fucker.

One day removed from S&P’s dire warnings over the United States’ credit quality, stocks ripped higher, as Ben Bernanke did lines of home grown blow off of his favorite printing press.

I recovered all of yesterday’s losses, gaining more than 2%, on the backs of WNR, MWW, X and OXY.

My refinery stocks are “Costanza trading” by responding inverse to the crack spreads. That makes no sense, whatsoever. But I will not complain. The important thing to note here is the market spit in the face of low end credit analysts at Standard and Poor’s. There is nothing imminent about their warnings. Therefore, it’s business as usual, with POMO and QE3 on the front burner.

Basic material stocks are in play here, as investors hedge against the demise of the dollar. There is no better sector to have my money than basic materials. Everything else is simply too hard.

Going into earnings season, look for outrageous results from a slew, mind you, of oil and gas companies. One of my favorites is OXY, so there.

Consolidating all of my thoughts into one sentence, I will say this to you: bet against refiners and lose your fucking house, car, and wife— as she will leave your ugly broke ass for someone with coin.