Retail Melt Up; Fly Melt Down

I am totally missing out on today’s melt up, as tech trades lower as if they market were down 300. Consumer discretionary names are off to the races, led by stocks like HANS, EL, KMB, COST etc. I am not sure why retail is roaring higher. However, I can tell you this much: the sector isn’t pricing in a fucking recession. That’s for sure.

Ahead of Bernanke and the Fed, it’s dangerous to short here. He may very well chequemate the global bear team and crush them on a QE3 announcement.

I am not particularly happy right now. As a matter of fact, I am downright glum about my underperformance over the past two days. It’s so important to make these rallies count when you get them. To lose money when the market is gapping up is a fucking crime. I should “Rick Perry” (execute) myself for fucking up.

Nevertheless, I remind myself that the market isn’t over in two trading sessions and next week may bring me great fortune. But I am very concerned about the longevity of this rally. Should we correct, I can find myself down 10% in these fuckhole stocks, leaving my YTD gains around 2%.

It’s non-stop fun in the world of money management and I am sure all of you cocksuckers have managed it perfectly, with your 5 figure Zeeco accounts at risk.

Off to conduct sacrifice rituals with my VooDoo Physician.

This market appears to be frustrating. However, if you look at it objectively, we are simply digesting recent gains. I am bleeding out a bit here, with most of my stocks lower. As a matter of fact, my CIEN position is outright sinking. Nonetheless, I am not going to panic out of the market on a slow Friday afternoon. As a matter of fact, I am tired of running.

This market reminds me of a horror movie when the victim is constantly on the run from the killer. He run and runs and runs, tripping over garbage pails and into dead ends. There comes a point when the man realizes he is wasting valuable energy, running from the killer and decides to make a stand and fight to the death. Granted, that analogy is completely absurd when putting it into the context of capital markets. But there is some value in sticking to convictions and riding out the troughs.

I’ve made my bed, long tech, into a European banking crisis. I have downside exposure, with no hedges other than my super sized TLT position. Although I believe the market can see lower prices before higher, I’m tired of trying to time every fucking tick. I’ve been trading like a lunatic on meth for about 6 months now.

It’s time to make a stand.

Trolls gotta troll, just like whores gotta give venereal diseases. Don’t think you are safe because “The Fly” puts on a suit, tie and shiny as shit shoes. No one is safe, especially you. I carry a shot gun in my top hat and my cane is a samurai sword, ready to slice your stupid head off your shoulders.

The stock business must’ve confused you, amidst your losses. No one gives a shit about you because you’ve accomplished nothing. I am not talking about monetary gains either. What I speak of is the respect of others.

iBankCoin reigns supreme over others, not because of my eloquent words and command over the english language or the second to none contributions of our writers. It’s because of the winship, champ, provided for and given to the readers of this site. I didn’t go from 0 to 1.5million page views per month inside of 4 years, without vulture capitalists or a dime of my own money put towards advertisements, by accident. This shit spread like the Black Death, via word of mouth, because it is infectious. I don’t like the media or the venture capital community and will never sell iBC. I don’t need their fucking money, because I have my own. These words are hard for you to read because you’re fucking out and I’m fucking in.

Troll on.

The PPT is the axiom of syllogisms.

UPDATE: 2009

2010

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIcxI3D-sdk 603 500]

After the cocaine addled GORILLA bashed your face in with a decorative boulder, you got up and cleaned yourself up. The sauna was a fucking mess, with GORILLA shit all over your prized wooden walls and floors. Looking at the mess, you simply needed to unwind a bit, sort of “get away from the world.” The only logical thing to do was lock up the house and head for the carnival.

On your way to the carnival, listening to bloomberg radio, you heard the market was losing steam. As predicted by yourself and the “team” at Zerohedge, investors were selling into strength. Aside from the giant gash on your brain, you were delighted.

You reached the carnival and parked the car right next to the cotton candy vendor. You always liked cotton candy, especially the pink colored version. Before locking up the car, you popped the trunk and fetched a chilled bottle of chardonnay, with glass, in order to “get your carnival on” in style. With chardonnay glass in hand and pink cotton candy in mouth, like a vagabond, you gallivanted inside the effervescent and whimsical carnival.

As you wandered out from a funhouse filled with retarded mirrors, while noshing on buttery popcorn, you gazed upon a clown doing magic tricks. As you approached said clown, you realized, much to your dismay, he wasn’t an ordinary clown. In fact, he was a homeless man pulling shit out from his hat, laughing hysterically in a crack-cocain infused fury. You tried to get away; but it was too late.

The crackhead clown detected your weakness and ran after you, full speed. Upon tackling you to the ground, he licked your face and drank your wine. He screamed at you in an undetectable language, then slapped you twice with his shit filled hands, one front-hand, the other back-hand.

I added to my LCC position, buying 10,000 at these levels.

Disclaimer: If you buy LCC because of this post, the next time you are on an airplane you will be accused of “acting suspicious” and will be detained by Federal air marshals. And, you may lose money.

Today’s rally is being sold by fearful men. As always, the news is bad, so the selling is warranted. I sold out of my SWKS and bought a starter in AMCC. I am barely up and sense the market wants to sell off. However, I am cognizant of market headfakes and how easy it is to be shaken out of a rally.

Over the past week or so, the market has recovered, despite the jarring volatility. It is my belief, eventually, the S&P touches down below 1,000. Knowing that, I don’t have confidence in any rally, for any prolonged period of time. On the other hand, there are many weak shorts in this tape now, just like we had weak longs in July. I would not be surprised if we gave back all of today’s gains or soared 150 from here. The market is in beast mode and nothing can stop it from crushing people.

I am still holding TLT and have 30% in cash. I may sell TLT today, or leave it just in case people get scared again. TLT is today’s tell for market direction.

In short, your eyes may deceive you into believing something is there, when in fact, there is nothing at all.

Go eat a sandwich.

So you’re sitting there executing a premarket purchase of FAZ, gently sipping on your morning chardonnay. You see the futures dip and it delights you. The current news out of Zerohedge is grim, all to do with the end of the western banking system. After reading this, with a certain air of smugness, you add to your FAZtardmobile position, then strip naked and head for the sauna.

As you relax in the sauna, you daydream over the profits to be had inside your wonderful FAZmobile. The world is ending and you sold it short. You put your head back on a pillow and close your eyes, totally relaxed from the “earthy” music playing in the background.

Then all of a sudden, a fucking giant GORILLA kicks in your door, chewing on cocaine leaves, pounding his chest, with his cock in hand. Startled, you jump up and throw your Martha Stewart terry cloth towel at him. Angered as fuck, hopped up on cocaine, the GORILLA picks up one of your decorative boulders and smashes your face in, then proceeds to rip apart the wood paneling inside of your bullshit sauna.

We fucking tanked into the bell, because dicksuckers sold into strength. This morning, we dropped like a stone on a false press release, regarding Austrian politics. There is nothing, whatsoever, logical taking place here.

Let me be clear (no 0bama): I am long tech, a great deal of it, with 30% cash. I own large amounts of TLT, as reserves, in order to benefit from the fear trade. My largest position is VMW and I intend to take profits when The PPT flags OVERBOUGHT.

Make no mistake, today’s close was bad. Expect more of this shit until the lunatics are killed. I need the keys to Zion you fuckers. The smell of this place is making me sick and I want to murder every single one of you, with my ax.

The world is filled with fear and this country is being led by the blind. The people who will replace the blind are fucking psychopaths. Long term, I am not optimistic. Short term, I am looking for gorillas eating cocaine leaves to smash rocks over your heads.

You do not deserve music today. Now go home.