Rest Assured: The Correction is Coming

Apple computer is dropping today, just two days after perverts around the world united around the mammaries of young celebrities. But that is only the tip of the iced berg, mate.

All of you woke up this morning to lies. You ate those lies and now you are shitting out losses.

General Stalingrad Putin didn’t sign a fucking cease fire with The Ukraine. That’s the most hilarious thing I’ve ever heard. After all, how could Putin sign a peace treaty when he hasn’t done anything wrong?

Indeud.

The tumult around the world will continue. US treasuries will serve as a beacon of freedom and safety from the treachery of equity markets. You’ve been very spoiled, haven’t you? All summer long you’ve been playing about the chinese sanded box, making money in all sorts of unsavory names.

THE DAY OF RECKONING fast approaches and those who surrender will be executed on spot: the Black Flag, sir.

As for me, I have 15% cash, lots of boring utilities, and a load worth of TLT. You mustn’t worry about my prospects, for I am in possession of a God damned plutonium powered time machine.

You may now continue playing in the gutter, throwing equine feces at one another.

I am very frustrated today, after seeing two stocks lift this morning that I had orders for–but chose not to buy for fear of a market pullback. You know how ideologies makes you retarded, forcing you to make irrational decisions? Yeah, I was going to buy large blocks of both ACHN and ARWR–but I didn’t.

I never bought the stocks, despite my go to source telling me to get long.

Truth be told, I cannot remember a top when I wasn’t mad at myself for buying that one last stock. Gains are always the most exorbitant near the top, since speculation is running rampant fueled by stupid money.

My utilities are higher and TLT is not down too much today. But seeing ARWR up 10% today hurts. The old Fly might’ve chased it today, greedily and hastily positioning in the midst of a gluttonous chocolate-coffee fueled frenzy of sheer stupidity.

Listen to me now: Le Fly is a marble statue of patience, virtue and is the American dream. One cannot rush art, so do not prod him to throw paint at a moving canvas. One must be able to envision the painting before one starts throwing paint around.

Enough of that, I have work to do now. I am sure the lot of you have a clock to punch and a widget to manufacture.

I haven’t mentioned the subject of ISIS because I am disgusted by it. But I wanted to touch on a few points, throw it out there for the rest of you to chew on.

Can Obama do a worse job at managing the middle east? Seriously, this is a laughable clusterfuck, with a real life Mandarin (Iron Man 3) out there, making movie productions, beheading journalists. You have to search through youtube to see what these lunatics are up to. It’s like they stole a book from the Nazis, specifically Goebbels, on how to properly conduct a police state riddled with war crimes, and running with it.

They are highly organized even bother to post annual reports highlighting the ridiculous wanton death and destruction presented by their wonderful group of Gotham City like bandits. We have Taco Tuesdays here; they have Flogging Fridays there.

They stole all of our munitions, some up armored humvees, and never even thanked us for it. Then, they swept through Iraqi banks and looted between $500-$2billion, most of which may be in GOLD. Seriously?

Now, we just learned, after the delightful news of the reoccupation of the US embassy in Benghazi and the subsequent terrorist pool party, that they scurried away with not one, or two, or three, commercial fucking jetliners—BUT 11, just 9 days before we cry over the events of 9/11 again.

It’s like the American people were apathetic about war and someone wanted to stoke our interest again to “just give it a chance, mate.”

And then, there’s this.

Fuck me. The enemy likes war too much, apparently. We should dissuade them.

God damn it! I just ate some ‘authentic’ chinese food and it’s burning my face off. Who eats this sort of crap…dragons? Don’t get me wrong: I enjoy a good spicy meal. But this stuff was like eating a jar of spicy peppers, mixed in with a little fish.

Back to the markets.

Anything related to internet security was higher today, thanks to the iCloud non-breach.

The market looks great and the mood is mild. Nothing should go wrong, as investors lazily return to their desks from a long summer of slumbering and drunken debauchery. Both road slob and catamite alike will return to a gracious market, one that rewards patience and aggressive bets. The gambler, whore, and savage swine shall dine together and laugh at the priest-like (no pervert) behavior of the cautious.

In short, I’ve never sold a top that looked bad and I never bought a bottom that felt safe.

You’re all in grave danger of losing your heads.

The guillotine is out and about, speed chopping heads off this afternoon with reckless abandon. The tit that you’ve been accustomed to sucking on for all of these years now belongs to a very old lady and she is removing said tit in October.

Understand something: this is not June, July, or a gentile August.

THIS IS SEPTEMBER, a time of year when men are forged in the fires of tragedy and stocks spiral lower because they can.

Momo stocks are still heading higher, despite the market pullback. Certain biotech and pharma stocks continue to hit new highs and rates are going higher. Everything the bulls should want is present, with exception to a higher market.

AAPL is higher on the iCloud news (lolz) and GILD  and YELP  are up 15-30 points straight– following Chairman Yellen’s retarded statements. Nonetheless, I remain stoicly convinced of a great doom and gloom just around the bend, invisible to oncoming traffic–readying to ‘Stunt Man Mike’ all of you through hard windshields (no one else will survive the coming correction but me).

So everyone is buying FEYE now because they feel it can protect them from iCloud hacks, all pertaining to naked photographs being disseminated for public consumption. Pure, unadulterated, rubbish. Nonetheless, the momentum is in favor of internet security names now, so be it.

My TLT is getting hammered, post dividend, and utility stocks are coming in. So what?!?!

Alibaba is coming public this month and there is nothing to change the status quo, from now until then, other than a geo-political event. My intention is to be very patient, edge into utilities on pullbacks, and generally take it easy, leading the life of leisure that I was intended to lead.

While all of you slave over hot stoves and file TPS reports, “The Fly” sits in his parlour, listening to Billy Holiday, watching the neighbor chop down 15 trees in his backyard.

The pullback is coming and when it does you’re all gonna be shining my shoes.

THE RUNNER IUP DRAWING

Winning number: 427

THE GRANDE PRIZE WINNER

Winning number: 392

We will know who these numbers belong to shortly. Soon after, we will email you and paypal you the winning prize.

ChessnWine is doing a drawing right now, which will be recorded and broadcasted here shortly.

There are 908 tickets. Of which, one person will receive a 2nd place prize of $500 and the grande prize winner will win $1,000.

DEVELOPING…

When taking defensive positions, we tend to believe that somehow the market is watching us, waiting for us to capitulate and close out the bearish/defensive positions so that the market can really head lower–in earnest.

The market isn’t watching you, idiot, and there is nothing wrong with taking a stand–like a man.

September is, by far, the worst performing month for the market. There are several geo-political events that could harangue investors, leading to a small rout.  Remember, the largest IPO in the history of man, Alibaba, is being priced this month and it would be very timely for the market to pause after our banker friends make a mint in the underwriting.

I am betting on a risk off environment and a race for yield, which should buoy bonds and dividend paying stocks, like utilities.

That’s it. Plain and simple. I have nothing else to say to you people, so go away now.

I am done for the day and perhaps for the rest of my life. I took liberties to sell, mind you, all of my XONE position. I had a look in the mirror, or the looking glass as some like to call it, and pondered to myself: “why in the world am I long this stupid 3-D stock?” I immediately took action and sold it before it could drop again. It had made a miraculous comeback and I locked in a 5% gain.

At the end of the day, I am loaded up in TLT, cash, utilities and a sundry of exotic and unique stocks–most of which are trending higher.

I wish all of you the very best, even though you don’t deserve my well wishes. But this charade, this fanatical, servile, march higher is coming to an end. Failure to acknowledge the opinions of those who know better than you might lead to your ultimate and untimely death from the stock market game.