THE FELLATIO BOTTOM

Today, I heard of dedicated short sellers offering to suck their own cocks, should the market close green. You must understand the conviction of these men. Mind you, they’d be willing to suck their own dicks, in order to prove a point.

I must say, for as crazy as I am, I’d never consider such obscene arrangements. As a matter of fact, I might consider such a bet to be quite gay. Regular hot dog gobblers, these men are.

All jokes aside, today’s action bodes well for bulls, as they stared death in the eyes, then ran away like little bitches and took an alternative route higher. Many stocks were still down. However, I like the relative strength in names like National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] , [[M]] and Occidental Petroleum Corporation [[OXY]] .

In hindsight, of course it would have been worthwhile to sell my [[SKF]] 17 points higher; but that’s not the point of the position. It is a hedge, not an avenue of potential profit.

As an aside, into the closing rally, I bulked up on [[ROM]] and [[EEM]] .

This will be an unprecedented Fly Buy post, in order to give you fuckers a sneak peak inside of my oversized brain.

With The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] down $4+, I am buying 250 share lots, up to 2,000 shares, in an effort to bring my cost basis down.

With National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] sub $25, I am buying 250 share lots, up to 3,000 shares, in an effort to profit from the pending bounce in crude names.

With Arch Coal, Inc. [[ACI]] around $19 , I am buying 250 share lots, up to 2,000 shares (of which I sold yesterday), in order to get more exposure to an oversold sector.

I am not buying [[SKF]] , over $160. However, as mentioned earlier, it is my biggest position. What’s important to note is my unwillingness to sell it, due to my desire to remain hedged. It can go down $20 tomorrow and it will not phase me, providing my commodity plays go up.

NOTE: Should the market continue to crater, the losses in my commodity names are now acceptable, considering my overweight position in SKF. Also, I blew out of some of my [[TBT]] for a loss, in order to raise my cash position, above 10%.

All of you gold fuckers should wear red noses and prance around the office in big purple boots, made from beets. You idiots thought the yellow metal would protect you from “the coming financial Armageddon.” Talk show hosts, like Michael Savage, prostituted themselves at the altar of the ancient currency, like baboons in an apron, making rich folks laugh.

I just had to get that off my chest.

Into the closing hour, I am fully loaded with [[SKF]] . After selling 1/4th of my position this morning, I reloaded the boat, on a whim that market fuckery is just around the corner. Presently, [[SKF]] is my largest position.

Frankly, I amazed to see [[SRS]] up at these levels, so quickly, As you know, I’ve been a HUGE hater of commercial RE; but, regrettably, I am not able to profit from its ongoing demise.

The irony.

Sometime soon, this market will bounce and rip off the heads of long term bears. However, at least for today, it appears the bears have won.

Get hedged or die slow.

NOTE: My top 5 positions are: [[SKF]] , National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] , The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] , cash, [[TBT]]

Following the last two days of POW-PING, those filthy, disgusting margin clerks will be selling shit this afternoon, most definitely. So don’t be surprised to see a little volatility towards the end of the day.

The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] is getting the stuffing kicked out of it, over fears that Cargill (a majority shareholder) is going to blow out of their position, due to nonsensical management. Here is the SEC filing.

Let me tell you, if people are scared of Cargill blowing out of their position, after a 75% decline, they are fucking idiots. Or, if Cargill actually sells MOS, down 75%, they are idiots. Either way, someone is an idiot. With my money, yet again, I will take one final stab at the MOS, sub $30,  for it is on sale.

For the most part, the markets are stable, with noticeable weakness in the banks. Should we close strong today, I would expect a follow through day tomorrow. But I am not betting on it.

One thing to note: our fucking friends from the middle east are panicking, with oil down at these levels. Expect those fuckers to cut production, in a big way, in an effort to jump start the price of crude higher.

If you are 100% long, with no hedges, you are playing with fire. The markets are entirely illogical. You cannot reason with the animal spirits. At a minimum, you should be hedged by 25%, with an addition 10% in cash.

I am 99% sure the market will goose step higher in November. However, before we can enjoy such fascist behavior, we need to finish up October. With the Presidency nearly guaranteed to Obama, Wall Street needs to price in shit, such as higher taxes.

Did you know, during the great depression, taxes went from high 20’s to 70% for rich folk? Perhaps we will get to enjoy such draconian measures, sometime soon. After all, fuck the rich guys; let’s help the homeless.

With my money, I sold 1/4th of my [[SKF]] position, north of $155. I didn’t do anything with the proceeds. It’s sort of just sitting there, doing nothing. Also, I was quite pleased to see National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] crush numbers. In a normal tape, that fucker would be up 25%, right now.

I repeat: I am not selling ANY National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] and The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] , at these levels. Fuck that.

And, finally, you fuckers need to bring cogent ideas to the comments section. It’s become some sort of mob hangout, where imbeciles run around naked—each trying to “outidiot” one another. I can’t say I am surprised; but for fucks sake, show mercy on the people with IQ’s north of 90.

Finally, I do not trust this market. I think it is imperative that one stay long, with protective shorts. For example, long Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] and short the underlying metal, via [[BOM]] . Into strength, I will continue to add to [[SKF]] , hopefully sub $150, until I am fully hedged.

Foreign markets cratering. Forex markets in flux. Commercial paper in disarray.

Glory awaits America, soon.

Get your short game on tomorrow, and fast.

UPDATE: Just in case you were wondering, “what the fuck is working in this market?,” BEHOLD: “The PPT‘s” top rated stocks, by technicals only. Fuck the fundies, for now. Pardon if takeovers are included. I did not bother to comb over them.

With my brain about to explode, from a soaring blood pressure, this afternoon, I blew out of [[UYG]] , mid 9’s, and went long 30,000 [[SKF]] in the low 140’s. I ate a large percentage loss, selling 3/4ths of my Arch Coal, Inc. [[ACI]] position, making that two coal holes in a row.

Stupidly, I bought more National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] and The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] , thinking the world was not going to end.

Stupid me, fuckface, the world is going to end.

During my weekly chat with my neighbor Steve, I asked him “how’s the fucking financial crisis treating you”? He replied, “oh, hell Fly, I am getting killed. I sold out of my mutual funds for a 30% loss.”

People like Steve are fucking idiots. But, that’s not the point. The point is: all of these main street chinese food take out lovers are scared shitless. We are in the midst of the biggest run on the financial system ever.

If you have been buried in losses, do not feel as if your trading methods are flawed. The whole fucking system is flawed. There is no way anyone, aside from biased intuition, could predict 25% daily moves in stocks—not even my Godly PPT system, which by the way has been bearish on the overall market, forever. I don’t listen.

My investment philosophy is to be early and right. But, I am very flexible in my strategies, in order to adapt to changing environments, which is why I never give advice in person. I’m always changing my mind and shit, especially over the past year.

So, here is the new game plan:

Hold on to the knifing commodity fuckers, while hedging with egregious bank shorts. On any sign of a bounce, I will deploy the rest of my cash, and use leverage if needed, to get a good average down on those fuckers, with intentions of selling the bounce.

The [[SKF]] or [[SRS]] positions will remain static, until I worm my way out of the commodity mess.

More on this later.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yHgQxfwTFg 450 300]

Enough of being nice to you trailer park idiots. Enough of the white robe, with Greek refreshments and Roman incense. “The Fly” is back in his fucking fox hole, with a full beard, knifing people in the scrotum, who happen to come his way.

I have had my fill of this stupid market, with its never ending crashes, followed up with incessant government intervention.

The whole world is fucked sideways and I’m here trying to catch a dip. Fuck me with a hacksaw!

Fuck Argentina, Iceland, Hungary and whoever else is doomed.

All I know is, I bought [[SKF]] late in the day, and I’m still up 10 points. My commodity plays have been eliminated from existence, in one day. And, my other gay longs, like [[M]] are blowing goats at the local, recently foreclosed on, gas station.

The decadence of yesterday is over. All of the homos who surf the web for information, will get electrocuted by faulty wiring, by the soon to be bankrupt telecom or cable provider.

All of you asshole hedge fund managers deserve to be eaten by hungry jelly fish. If it were up to me, I’d take the whole lot of you and throw you, if I may be so bold, into a large bucket of jelly fish.

In closing, may the world blow up and disintegrate into atoms. There is nothing to like about this tape; you might as well short it all.

NOTE: If any of you assholes say “hey, the Fly capitulated, time to buy,” I will kill you.

Let this be a reminder:

I don’t like you. Actually, ask anyone, I could care less about traffic or other things that measure a blogs success. For a long time, I never linked to anyone, because I don’t read other websites, mainly because they fucking suck. If you fuckers think I am relying on this site, in any shape of form, you are gravely mistaken. As fun as it is, I will shut this fucker down and guest blog on Howards website for the rest of my life, or until Howard dies.

I post my trades, for good or for worse, not to help you, but to entertain. Everyone loves a good train wreck or greatness. As you know, I am the latter. Unfortunately, since the market has cratered, there are many new readers on this site. These people have deformed faces and wreak of pig shit. They leave dumber than normal comments and think, for some reason, that I give a fuck.

Listen up: I don’t.

As for the market:

I will not sell into this commodity rout. However, I did blow out of the banks. I didn’t sell [[UYG]] because I thought it was going significantly lower. It’s simple math.

Should the market feel the need to retest the lows, the banks are going down. Now, my gut says we go higher, so it’s kind of counter-intuitive. But, with the markets this weak, and my gains north of 40% for the year, I had to hedge.

With my remaining cash, I will complete my final round of buys into The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] and National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] , at lower prices.