“The Fly” Wins Again

I am too good to address you hapless bastards directly, so I will talk to myself.

Tropicana: Hey Fly, you did pretty good today, especially with your egregious FTK positions. The bears really do suck goat balls, you have to agree.

Fly: Yeah, I agree fuckernutter. But, I also think that you should shut the fuck up and quit trying to be my friend. If you need a friend, go feed the homeless. The way I see it, I win all the time, while you just sort of roam around the office all the time, dressed in that faggot robe and sandals.

Tropicana: (takes a swing at Fly, but misses)

Fly: Ha, ha. I win again. (throws contents of diamond encrusted chalice on Tropicana’s face)

Tropicana: Fine. Have it your way. Just know this, the next time your picks go bad, don’t come crawling back to me, begging like a little bitch, all worried and shit about your homo stocks.

Fly: I don’t need the likes of you. You are a fucktard, best suited for hospitals, getting your appendix ripped from your torso.

Tropicana: On the contrary, my little insane friend. You are a big mouth show off, who would not last a minute in the S. Bronx, without having to give up the car keys to your bullshit Lexus.

Fly: Fuck off, jelly donut man. I bank coin. I’d rather fuck an aardvark than drive my car into the S. Bronx.

Tropicana: Well, I’ll have you know, I was up 5.55% today, stretching— mind you— my year to date gains to north of 75%.

Fly: Oh, yeah, well, I was up, ummm, 5.55% too.

Fly & Tropicana: Asshole (spoken simultaneously)

The beige book data indicated economic contraction, into early May. However, there were signs of a rebound in housing. Nonetheless, the data was Yankee bullpen shitty, with the overall theme pointing towards deflation.

Well, shiver me timbers, oil is breaking the necks of lower class commuters and the metals are acting as if “global growth” is back in full force. I realize, deep down, the next sick trade will be on the short side. I am sure there will be an empty elevator drop over the next 3 months. My plan, as always, is to be in cash, during such said events.

There is so much money being printed now; it will be hard to stop this runaway train. The new money is not only plugging holes, but chasing assets. It’s obvious, as well as evident, those fiat dollars are chasing stocks, like a gorilla in a banana tree.

There is nothing legitimate or legal about what world governments are doing, via manipulating prices. But, as a manager of assets, my job is to determine the future move in equity valuations, not bitch and moan about the fucked up nature of the collective printing presses.

My money is better off alongside the criminals than with the likes of you, which in a fucked up way makes me an accomplice to a crime against humanity. Try and catch me, see what happens, fuckface. I’ll knock your sideburns to the front of your head, then off.

Top picks: FTK, OVTI

Dollar strength (UUP) is contributing to this mornings sell off. In addition, a lot of leadership names (AAPL, INTC) are selling off here. Due to this development, I sold out of my 2nd largest position, ERX, in order to raise cash. Plus anyway, with FTK, SD and ARD longs, I have ample exposure to the energy space. I will not miss a beat.

I intend to use this dip as a buying opportunity, for I believe it will be short lived. At the top of my buy list are the following names: ENTR, ATML, TRID, CNXT, FNSR and GLW.

Keep in mind, when buying piece of shit stocks, like the names mentioned above, it’s important to do so in moderation. I do not intend to buy an obscene amounts of stock, instead, just enough to average in or bulk up my position to make them respectable and in-line with current prices.

Not to beat on a dead horse, but the volume and price action in FTK is very noteworthy. I suspect the company is not on its death bed. As a matter of fact, I suspect the company is in a good position to turn things around, providing they are afforded appropriate funding.

You don’t need to agree with everything that I say and do. As a matter of fact, I encourage all to think on their own, try to make your own fishing pole, then fucking fish with it. However, don’t ever cross me, for if you do I will make sure your life is a living hell and/or you lose in a very egregious way.

Case in point: FTK

There are laughing clowns, not to be confused with the raping or killing type, that have bet against me in FTK, continuously, via large short sales. Heck, the short position is upwards of 20% and the fucking stock price is nailed to the floorboards. Yet, here we are, on a glorious “non-Africa hot” Tuesday morning and FTK is running lawn mowers over their faces.

All you need is a little push in the right direction and all of the chips will fall into place.

Aside from FTK, I am a chicken dinner winner in FITB, ATHR and OVTI. To be honest, I don’t know why anyone is short OVTI. For the love of pin-less hand grenades, they have close to $5 in net cash and their cameras are in the new iphone. You have to be a fucking lunatic to be short. My sense, the stock hits $20 by Labor Day.

Finally, the dollar is up, while oil is up; something has to give. I would not be surprised to see the dollar go negative and the Dow sprint higher by triple digits. At the moment, I am up another 2.3% intra-day.

UPDATE: Due to dollar strength, I sold out of my ERX position, just north of $38.

The market is about to knock your fucking head clean from your shoulders. As an aside, scoot on over to Uncle Fucker’s blog. Jake has taken it upon himself to fuck with my writing dominance, here on iBC, via an egregiously funny script.

To further my aside thinking, it’s AFRICA HOT in THE HOUSE OF FLY tonight, thanks in large part to my central cooling system breaking the fuck down, via an assholish/very untimely electrical short in the fan motor.

Back to the main subject. Here are the top ranked stocks, per sector, courtesy of The PPT.

Basic Materials

Consumer Goods

Finanacials

Healthcare

Industrial Goods

Services

Tech

Utilities

UPDATE: Rogers on the markets.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szih3b2DwOo&feature=related 616 450]

Another “ho-hum” day at the office, up 2.2%. I was up more, but that son of a bitch, FTK, fleeced me towards the end of the day.

I enjoyed “better than your local broker” gains in SIFY, GLW, FNSR, ATHR, GLW, ATML and CNXT, while many of you just sort wasted the day away. It’s a sideways consolidation death for maladroit bearshitters.

For those of you interested in soft porn, please visit the friendly confines of “Denninger Danny” sans the silly facial expressions and navy blue blazer.

Just so you know, I have a lot of shit to do in real life, with regards to general contractors and asshole heating/ac guys.

Top Pick: OVTI

People are walking around Wall Street dressed in cashmere sweaters, due to “extreme coinage” being produced at the local brokerage firms aka “Asshatteries.”

I don’t know how these fuckers did it; but it’s 2006 all over again and I am making “dot-com” bucks over here. If you are short the market, do not feel bad. Everyone has a specific place or purpose in life, sort of like the first guy to take a land mine to the balls, in order to save the rest of the company.

With my money, I am long ATHR, GLW, FTK, SIFY, TRID, DELL, FITB, FNSR, amongst many others. The long and the short is, I am up 2.98% intra-day, while slapping my trader/servant in the face with wet pieces of ham.

Unfortunately, I have not consumed adequate amounts of caffeine, thus far. So, without further delay, I shall head over to my local Dunk’ Donuts, so that I may rudely and abruptly request service from the minimum wage kids behind the counter.

As I speak, oil is extending intra-day gains, while the dollar is weak. Hence, we are about to mudstomp a few bears into the bell.

I bought 20,000 CNXT @ $1.26 and 5,000 ATML @ $4.16.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, President Obama will get voted in for a third term. And, you may lose money.

The dollar is down and oil is up; therefore, stocks will likely trade higher today. Most of my positions are green, merrily swimming around in a shark free environment.

Early this morning, MWA, caught an upgrade, effectively pushing Senor Tropicana in the black. And, as you can see, FNSR does not go down.

For the most part, I’ve got my positions worked out, sans and semblance if a real asset allocation program. I will be using strength to reshuffle my positions, in order to slow down my beta. My number #1 pick is still GLW, based upon robust LCD sales, worldwide. In my opinion, I think the stock prints $18, maybe $20.

Bottom line: If you are stupid enough to be short stocks today, you are playing with fire. All of the ingredients for a break the fuck out tape are present.

Trade accordingly.