PLEASE, BEN, I BEG YOU: MORE CRACK ROCK

Come on Ben, just one more piece of crack rock for the road. I can’t survive without that rock. I need that shit. A good friend of mine will likely suck your dick for a little piece. Don’t let us market players out here suffer, when you have lots of supply in your trap-house.

I promise, on a stack of King James bibles, I will hire 1 1/2 people if you just give me one more taste. I swear, after this taste, I will work real hard and forget about crack rock.

You don’t understand, the market simply isn’t worth trading without that SHIT. Folks like “Mars Attacks” Ackman are getting cremated in JCP and I happen to be long for the ride. Did you see David Einhorn today? He has gone mad, twitching like a mental patient on the teevee, coming fresh off a poker binge. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, oh please Mr. Ben, won’t you help out the millionaires on Wall Street with a little more QE. We have families and estates to maintain. Plus, my lovely wife wouldn’t like it very much if her supply of money was stifled. You wouldn’t stifle my wife’s $20k per month allowance, would you Mr. Ben?

Thanks in advance,

A fan and a friend

Wall Street

My old man stocks are doing great: KMB, CHD and PEP. Everything else is in super-dive mode. Risk appetite is nil; but don’t let one bad day shake you out of everything. I am scrapping my earlier idea of starting a new position today, which, by the way, was PCS. I am getting fucking hammered in a number of my holdings. If it wasn’t for my 40% cash position, today would have been a death knell day with EXK, YELP (now all but sold out), JCP, CPST, MOS and RBCN hitting the bricks.

Thank god I sold out of CMI the other day. It is imperative that you cut losses quickly, especially in names that are sensitive to global “de-growth.”

All of the data coming through the pipe is pointing to global recession. If we were to price that in, without a doubt, the market would trade down to 10,000 and below. However, thanks to the Federal Reserve and their fucking printing presses, stocks have a bid. Make no mistake, without that bid, we are in fucking trouble.

In short, I am getting punched in the nuts, but only 60% as bad as the guy fully invested.

I have a huge cash position and now find myself fishing for ideas. There are a few names that have my interest, one of which looks really good. I might pull the trigger, as it is my belief this market has an upward bias.

DMND looks great; but EXK and RBCN look like shit.

JCP has rebounded from this mornings lows and MOS sold off hard.

My intra-day losses stand at around 1.25%, putting me to about +22.5% for the year. The goal is to preserve these gains by cutting losses quickly and taking moderate sized positions, in order to avoid another YELP situation. My average sale price on YELP was above $25, since I sold half above $27 last week. Ultimately, I believe the stock will trade north of $40; but I have little appetite for risk now and would rather gnaw off my own arm and eat it, than ride this fucker back down into the teens.

Stay tuned for a new buy.

I sold the majority of my YELP position today, leaving a token to remain.

Earnings are not for another month. Therefore, I have no interest in riding the social roller coaster back down. Looking at stocks like ZNGA, P and GRPN makes me feel grateful for having an opportunity to close this trade out profitably.

I will revisit.

Full disclosure: I have no idea what this market is doing right now. Sovereign yields are lower, alongside the euro. European markets are up; but we just gave back a monster open. None of the inverse ETFs are doing anything, yet select stocks are being smashed. The TLT is lower, lending to my confusion.

On the other hand, I see strength in stocks like MTW and TEX and wonder, what the fuck is going on? Perhaps it’s just “one of those weird days”. The problem I have with enduring “weird days” is often times they morph into fucking routs. People are holding onto shares now, in the face of a big reversal. But if the indices start to go down in earnest, I suspect things will get ugly and fast.

I am sure about one thing: I am not adding to anything right now. My cash position is about 30% and I am leaving it there until there is clarity.

The sooner some of you bastards stop fighting me, the faster you will begin learning what you need to be taught.
-Professor BEAS, 1896

The market is up and running, but there is weakness in a number of my stocks, namely YELP and JCP. Yesterday,The PPT flagged OVERSOLD for SPY and TNA, with near flawless results, giving me the confidence to hold– into what seemed to be a helpless tape. Nevertheless, I am down this morning because we are in a stock pickers markets, and at this time, my stocks happen to suck balls.

The solution is to catapult the losers out of my city walls. Gone.

This is not a time to be stubborn, waiting for stocks to pan out. The heavy lifting was already done; I’ll be damned if I let some asshole stocks derail me from greatness.

For the remainder of the summer, expect Senor Tropicana to position into what’s working, short squeezes and hot sectors, less idealism and thesis trades.

Back when I was a pleb, I rode a stock from $45 to $2. It was during the dot bomb burst and those types of occurrences were in abundance. The original thesis behind the trade was a “chart, breakout, above some homosexual neckline.” This fucking stock– single handedly– destroyed my business and blew up my personal account beyond repair.

It threw my career into a tailspin and sullied my reputation at the firm. My production levels plunged from $100k per month to $20k, aka an ordinary Joe on Wall Street. Truth be told, if you’re not banking $500k on Wall, you’re wasting your time. Get to work.

Back to my catastrophe. I allowed a “technical” trade become fundamental. Then I convinced myself not to sell because “it was already too cheap.” Well, the cheap got cheaper, then it got perverse. The same could be said about those who chased coal down the sewer pipe.

How do you avoid such things?

The answer is simple: don’t buy stocks in industries under duress.

My blow up occurred in tech. Back then, their balance sheets were impaired and credit got tight, real tight, at the very worst time. Fast forward to today, coal, natural gas, alternative energy, solar and steel are all under pressure. Before buying a stock, know the balance sheet and avoid any name that might have an issue raising money.

Sure, CLF looks attractive and the stock is “real cheap.” But their business is intertwined with the very worst global de-growth has to offer. With a market trading at 13x, you have no excuses for chasing shit down the rabbit hole. There are countless names, trading at reasonable valuations, worth investment. Also, I tend to avoid names that have fucked up earnings reports, like FIO, DELL, HPQ.

Why gamble on a loser, when there are fucking winners out there? An analogy of sorts for iBankCoin versus the competition.

BONUS: Top 15 technically ranked stocks by The PPT.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IK7h1tnRiwA

PCX, JRCC and others plunged today amidst rumours of imminent bankruptcy filings. Who would have thought the coal industry would have gone kaput under the Obama administration?

With every death comes a birth. As I sit here in the scalding hot weather, enduring temperatures that haven’t been seen since the grounds of Carthage were salted, I had an epiphany.

Milk the farmer.

Why the fuck not?

Those silly bastards are going crazy trying to salvage an already ruined corn crop. They will be forced to invest in irrigation systems and bulk up on fertilizer. The food supply as we know it is in jeopardy. I believe the United Steaks will begin importing grain from South America soon, if not already. This is a great blight on a nation filled with blights.

I want to be long excessive amounts of MOS. Therefore, into the bell, I bought more.

I want to own VMI, LNN and maybe some MON. I want it all.

In the hallowed halls of The PPT, one of the most reliable and trustworthy signals was flagged today. If you weren’t such misers, you’d know about it.

All in all, today was a set up day, where the weak got hoodwinked by the pinless hand grenade action in coals and other basic materials, while everything else set up for explosion. You need to be in the right sectors and industries, small man. Most of you are too inexperienced or stupid to see the forest through the trees. Take it from a space alien magician (SAM), with over 15 years in professional money management: it’s dangerous to be short here.

European markets were barely down. The Euro is up, as well as commodities. The only thing that can be pointed to as a negative is rising Spanish and Italian yields. But what is gold and silver telling us?

Have you seen corn today? That fucker is up more than 5%, based off dust bowls forming in the heartland.

Call me crazy, but I want to be long ag and silver. I want to own MOS, EXK and maybe a little LNN at lower prices. My holdings no longer revolve around the caprices of YELP. I have other fish to fry, some very delicious indeud. My newly minted RBCN position has shorts in knots, beating them to death with iron clubs. JCP is going down in a very orderly manner, a true gentleman of the exchange. Frankly, despite the somber tone, there is nothing to fear in this tape. It’s just an ordinary down day.

You’re better off eating a bag of sandwiches than trying to short this tape. I am telling you now, it is a bag of lit dynamite sticks waiting to explode.

I never knew how much shit I owned until I had to pack it all into boxes. Without a doubt, the garbage men who are “lucky” enough to pick up my trash hate me. The amount of money that I’ve wasted on toys, clothes and odd items is staggering.

Mrs. Fly wanted me to give the garbage men $100 “for their trouble.” However, I overslept and didn’t get the “opportunity” to throw them some soft dollars. On top of that, my brand new refrigerator has a condensation issue and is collecting ice under the freezer, which is causing it to leak, every so often. I’ve contacted the fucked-faces at Samsung; but they aren’t too interested in my plights.

After I move to the new house, Mrs. Fly has 10 years worth of renovations scheduled, in her never ending attempts to bankrupt me. I am sure she sits in a dark room plotting ways to ruin me. It must come as a great surprise to her how the money keeps flowing in. She’s never asked how I make so much money. I assume she believes I am in the mafia, rubbing out people for sport and leisure. Nonetheless, I cannot wait to breathe in some fresh sheet rock and step on some wet paint.

As for this market: it looks tired. It needs to unwind and go on vacation. Some of my stocks look good, like RBCN. But on the whole, there is nothing here to get excited about. I tried my hand with nuts on Friday, buying up DMND. But that’s gone to shit today, alongside everything else. Let’s see if any buyers step in later on today.