Oil Stocks Turn Positive for the Year; Massive Bull Rally Underway

With today’s 4% move in oil stocks, the median return is now positive for this once derided sector. Now that the crisis has passed and the bull market is back, we can all go back to our jobs in the Bakken Shale and start drilling for USELESS FUCKING OIL AGAIN.

Also, the biggest gainers in oil today are in the exploration names, due to America’s renewed interest in fossil fuels. Fire up that deep sea driller; we’re gonna drill, baby, drill.

The unhedged morons at CLR are higher by 8%. The once thought to be bankrupt WLL is higher by 9%, as well as BBG.

There is a party taking place in the oil patch now, lads. Are you man enough to buy them?

Since oil is now up for the year and everyone is making money again, what sectors are lagging?

Biotech -27%
Nuclear -21%
Tankers -17%
Solar -16%
Staffing -15%
Foreign Banks -14%

Have at it.

In a press conference this morning, Donald Trump promised to make America rich again. He is going to save social security and slay the Chinese dragon beast from eating all of our jobs.

Also, he discussed the low energy/strength status of Hillary Clinton. He cast her aside like a piece of parsley garnish on a rib eye steak, saying she had no business instincts and was terrible on trade.

It’s worth noting, Trump has many, many friends in China and isn’t mad at them. He’s only going to park the USS Reagan in the port of Beijing until we get better deals out of them.

There are two ways to judge the ECBs moves.

1. How will they affect markets?

2. How will they affect the economy?

While Kiesel Soze says it’s the hugest shit ever, the distinguished and eloquent James Bevan, from CCLA, says it’s complete horseshit and that it will have no material impact on the ECBs economic woes.

To that end, Bevan believes the ECB will regret these moves, and rue them in a mournful manner.

This guy looks like he has a few bodies buried in his basement. But I’m certain he’s a great investor. Who’s that annoying BBG female host? What’s going on over there, cocaine?

The new ECB plan is going to serve as a giant vacuum, depleting the world of income generating corporate bonds. This, inexorably, is going to cause investors to lower the bar, disgrace themselves by settling for high yield crap, according to Mr. Kiesel.

Should credit spreads tighten, as Kiesel is predicting, both JNK and HYG are screaming buys.

Who the hell are these people?

Who knows what these people are up to? Some of you actually believe the analysts say the opposite on purpose, just to gain an edge on an unsuspecting public. Fucking conspiracy theorists.

At any rate, with the recent rebound in crude, analysts have become much more sanguine about the oil sector. This morning, Goldman upgraded a slew of companies, suggesting the worst is behind us and there are nothing but cotton candy clouds ahead.

They upgraded OII, FTI, WFT, OAS, CRZO, RSPP and APC. They did, however, downgrade HP.

HP likely told them to fuck off, when asked about doing a secondary for them.

Gains are bountiful in Europe. U.S. futures are following their lead, as people digest yesterday’s ECB actions, coupled with the yuan strength, and decided it was good news after all.

Crude is higher again, despite a sharply stronger dollar.

The DAX is ripping tits to the upside.

And of course, NASDAQ futures are through the roof.

There is a massive move in European banks taking place in Europe today, thanks to incentives offered to them by the ECB for lending money. The whole thing is sort of a mess. But in the interim, European stocks are spiraling higher, led by Unicredit, Axa and Deutsche Bank.

The euro is selling off v the dollar, a net positive for European exporters.

Look at those banks run.

These RNC hacks are incorrigible with their brazen, immoral, behavior, openly talking about ‘brokering’ the RNC convention in order to steal it from D. Trump. In other words, the time invested by the millions of republican voters are absolutely meaningless to the miscreants in the empty suits.

In the past, they’d at least try to be subtle about their corruption, hiding behind scandal and perfidy, using a controlled media to frame the narrative. Now they just come out and say it: ‘fuck this guy. He’s not one of us. We are going to take the election from him. Isn’t that a great idea, folks?”

You didn’t build your business.

You can keep your own Doctor.

We’ve won the war.

The upwards move in the Yuan is going to give the impression that the Chinese economy is strong. This is imperially important to the continuation of the commodity rally, which by extension, is key to the overall strength of the market.

They’ve figured out how to jimmy the markets. At the centre of the early 2016 collapse was forex dislocations in China, which cast a wide cloud of doom over the global growth narrative, which then caused commodities and plunge and the rest is history.

The yuan climbed 0.20 percent to 6.4948 a dollar as of 10:46 a.m. in Shanghai, according to China Foreign Exchange Trade System prices. The offshore rate in Hong Kong climbed 0.13 percent to 6.4966. The People’s Bank of China raised its fixing, which restricts onshore moves to 2 percent on either side, by 0.34 percent to 6.4905.

“The fixing and yuan moves reflect euro strength and dollar weakness overnight, as well as Chinese officials’ anticipation for further strength in non-dollar major currencies,” said Christy Tan, head of markets strategy at National Australia Bank Ltd. in Hong Kong. “The new yuan index continued its downward drift after falling below 99 in early February, and this is in line with the authorities’ aim of keeping the currency stable but allow gradual weakness against the basket.”

Nasdaq futures are higher by 0.9% and German DAX futures are higher by 1%.

This is the funniest story I’ve read in 2016. I could see it now, the average savage going about his day in the stock market and an elusive Gekko type character steps into the fray to completely fuck all participants. Apparently, this “dude” is so big, he bends the market to his will. Participants are going apeshit trying to find him, but cannot.

“Nobody knows anything for sure,” Ozaner said in his office in a picturesque neighborhood on the shores of the Bosporus. “And this is Turkey, where usually we all know what’s going on.”

“Herif,” or “the dude,” has helped lift the average daily trading volume on the Borsa Istanbul almost 8 percent this year, compared with a 15 percent decline on the main exchange in Warsaw and a 27 percent plunge in Moscow, data compiled by Bloomberg show. The Borsa Istanbul 100 Index has advanced 13 percent in the period, outpacing Russia’s Micex and Poland’s WIG20.

Closely held Yatirim Finansman, which handled less than 2 percent of all trades two years ago, now accounts for the majority on some days.

On Feb. 22, for example, the brokerage placed buy orders for 486 million liras ($167 million) of shares, about 15 times more than Merrill Lynch, the second-biggest dealer that day, according to official data. And in the 16 trading days to March 8, it registered almost 1 billion liras of buy orders for Turkey’s six largest banks and Turkish Airlines — helping push the Borsa index to consecutive three-month highs.

In all of January and February, Yatirim Finansman bought a net 1.23 billion liras of stock, almost 70 percent more than the next largest buyer, UBS Menkul Degerler AS. This is why Istanbul Portfolio’s Ozaner said the secretive buyer is now “making the market.”

“There’s a giant bull in the china shop,” said Kerem Baykal, a fund manager who oversees about $610 million at Ak Portfoy. “He’s got deeper pockets than anyone else in the game and can move the market in any direction.”

“The Dude” is straight up fucking with Turkey, a menace of the first magnitude. I hope he fucking destroys the exchange and makes it crumble into pieces.