MARKETS WILL BE IN TURMOIL SOON

My trading was mixed this week but ended up in spite of some fucked LABU and SQQQ sojourns. Over all, I was up around 2500 in trading gains and lost 1.95% for the week using my new stratagem. Whilst this may seem bad, my quant was RACKED for -9%, as I am sure the vast majority of you underwent similar drawdowns.

This is the time of year to be festive, not some soured Scrooge like person angered at the world for his own unhappiness. I shall not bestow upon you, the unwashed reader, what I internalize daily.

But if you asked me over drinks, I’d show you this.

And then I’d tell you this.

There is nothing you can do to stop it. The great Xmas smash is upon you. All attempts to forgo drawdowns will fail, unless of course if you are net short.

I ended the session DOWN 2.4%, but with hope and optimism — as I am now 143% leveraged long very large amounts of TZA and SQQQ. Before taking on such large positions, I did some research and asked around: “Is anyone gonna stop me from making money in these?” No one dared answer.

I have also received official documents, or at least was told there were official documents, that stated the following: “the grid is under attack” (source: Bubba from the Pelican Room).

Sirs (women are not allowed to read iBankcoin)

We have a problem.

May the blessings of 1000 Turtle Gods enrich your families with joy and springful radiance. However, the stock market is now in dire straights and I am afraid that there is nothing that you, nor your stupid friends, can do about it.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter