Greetings, I bring you wishes of good tidings from the comfort of my deck, whereupon I am smoking my estate pipe and drinking unsweetened black coffee and eagerly awaiting to consume meats. Like all other red blooded Americans on this day, I too celebrate the great many achievements of our true ruling class with both grace and the dignity of our kind: the patriarchy.
We have ruled upon this planet for as long as its been around, created all of the great many comforts you enjoy today, all the while fascinating people with inventive sporting achievements — both in game and in markets. We of course destroy one another for the slightest reasons and have made it a point to remain in conflict for as long as we rule. We have found that war and violence is the best tonic to advance society, whereby the weakness alleles in the genome are eliminated via acts of horror. Without it, dare I say, none of you would be reading this upon your cellular phone gadgets right now.
On Patriarchy Day, which of course is a global holiday, I enjoy to eat rare meats, smoke British tobacco from a pipe, and partake in a bit of alcohol consumption. Not too much, however, since being the primary bread winner of my large family, I am of course responsible for working tomorrow — for it is a Monday and men of my cloth and statute enjoy to practice being industrious.
Throughout the day, however, I will watch cinema featuring extreme conflict, perhaps segue into a documentary, and perhaps also read some Ernest Hemingway — in order to set myself right and properly celebrate life as a man — the greatest genetic gift a person could have — the strongest class, the brightest.
I’d blog more about this fine topic, but my bacon is nearly finished and I must summon my wife now to refill my 15oz mug with coffee. Do enjoy your day and count your blessings for never having to menstruate and also for being fortunate enough to pass your helix down to another generation in order to re-invigorate the patriarchy which we have all grown to love and admire for many millennia.
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After that diatribe, I’d say your bacon is fully cooked. However, I’m sure Mrs. Fly adores you as do the rest of your tribe. Happy Patriarchy Day.
thank you
Happy Father’s day.
Our nada who art in nada, nada be thy name thy kingdom nada thy will be nada in nada as it is in nada.
“Not too much” my ass.