iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,793 Blog Posts

Let Me Explain to You the Type of Person that I am

I woke up this morning and most leisurely, with extreme equanimity, sold out of the following stocks for profit.

NKLA +16.6%, AMC +16.6%, NBAC +11.1%,PEIX+10.9%,EH +9%, SABR + 7.9%, RMG +5.2%

I then made myself some coffee and toast, a bit of brioche, and have been listening to classical music, whilst reading a book, ever since. In between refilling my mug, I casually glanced upon the oils and said to myself “I am an oil man”, so I bought SLCA. I just sold SLCA for a 6.6% profit.

Life is easy as a stock investor. I create nothing, but merely transfer money from someone else’s brokerage and into mine, very fast and very clean. I don’t punch clocks and I most certainly do not have a boss. I swing as far as my dick will permit and if it weren’t for the fact that I have kids and an aversion to ruin, I’d be a fucking degenerate. But I’m not, just like a dog isn’t an underwater mammal, or how women aren’t funny at stand up.

Into National Festival, now with the Dow above 30k, a MOST SACRED NUMBER according to our leader, I want to trade small but smart. I want to be tactical, but mechanical. I want to win, whilst also enjoying being the underdog. Trading well requires a delicate balance, in all things. One must have a certain disposition to do this effectively, which is why I profess most of you shouldn’t even try it.

You could live 1,000 lifetimes and never be as good as me, so why bother? Eat the fish that I provide and live well and comfortably under the bosom of House Fly.

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2 comments

  1. purdy

    White-shorted tennis ..brioche ..reading. Ferking yanks have ruined the place.

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  2. indie

    drinking bambu ova here.

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