iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,904 Blog Posts

FATHER YIELD CURVE: PREPARE FOR RECESSION

The Father of the Yield Curve is warning Americans to batten down the hatches and prepare for recession.

Duke University professor Campbell Harvey says the bond yield curve is “flashing code red” for a recession.

The yield for the 3-month Treasury has been above the 10-year since May, a condition known as an inverted yield curve that has predicted the past seven recessions.

Harvey encourages investors, business executives and consumers to prepare now.

How does one prep for a sharp economic downturn? Should one collect evidence against his employer to blackmail him/her in the event of a firing? If one were to gather some strong evidence, one could certainly protect one’s job against termination.

What does it mean to be in recession?

I bet you millennial and zoomer retards haven’t the slightest idea what it would entail. Well imagine a world that behaved like Bitcoin in 2018, or perhaps an avocado toast that has already browned and gone bad. Would you eat said toast? Probably not. Or how about a pineapple that looks nice on the outside, but after cutting into it you find out the pineapple is in fact bad. This is a recession, small people of the internets.

Then you get the panics, people freaking out that the recession can turn into something worse and dreadful — a depression. During a depression there aren’t any avocados left in the store, because the dust bowls wiped out the crop. The only White Claw flavor left is grapefruit and the pineapples are only in canned form. As a matter of fact, during a depression, organic foods will become extinct and beef will be laden, mind you, with harmful chemicals — as ranchers “treat” the meat to last longer. The halcyon days of grass fed beef would be nothing short of a wistful memory of better days.

Markets will descend into the pits of hell, festooned with margin calls and financial advisors overseeing their businesses destroyed from the fires.

The way we would extricate ourselves from said depression would be war. The blood of the many will be used to nourish the tree of capitalism, paving the way for a new era of crony capitalism and grift.

In short, prepare young lads, prepare for the worst of times.

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7 comments

  1. mad marsupial

    Is that a Mossberg 500 Cruiser in that photo?

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  2. ferd

    But fortunately for native Carolinian’s, there’ll be a plentiful supply of unarmed northeast long pig.

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  3. metalleg

    “How does one prep for a sharp economic downturn? Should one collect evidence against his employer to blackmail him/her in the event of a firing? If one were to gather some strong evidence, one could certainly protect one’s job against termination.”

    That’s EXACTLY what I suggest one should do.

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    • numbersgame

      In the East, the typical recession job prep involves moving near Washington, DC, and joining the ranks of the Federal Government, which has no budget constraints.

      There are plenty of defense firms, too, for those of Red-state persuasion. Speaking of which, I thought that part of the bonus of an isolationist policy would be reducing how much tax-payers have to contruibute to these firms. How naive of me.

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  4. natehois

    None of that shit sounds bad

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  5. soupbone

    All the fancy sports cars disappear off the streets. The streets are lined with property for sale signs. Your stock portfolio drops 35% or more. Massive layoffs in the news everyday. Cost cutting of the nasty sort. If one is already poor it’s a nothing event, might even make someone feel better..

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  6. flea

    Hah! Fly must have been hungry when he wrote this.

    Recession: your neighbor lost his job.
    Depression you lost your job.

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