Always Be Nervous Heading into Earnings

The only reason why I’m not crying this morning, following the SONO earnings miss, is because I sold half the position yesterday for a 9% gain. I got lucky, plainly — due to my memory of getting fried inside the pan during earnings season. It was an easy sell, since the stock had pressed higher by 13% for the day. Whenever a stock barrels higher like that ahead of earnings, more often than not the stock is going to drop after earnings. That’s just the way it goes.

With the balance of my position, I will likely sell it today and be done with it — because holding a stock diving lower after earnings is the definition of dead money.

Futures are appreciably lower, but there isn’t much to worry about. I still have 25% cash and two old man stocks, K and CLX, which can soften the blow of any market about to get poleaxed. I haven’t had a good poleaxing in a long time. Perhaps now is as good a time as any — whilst in the month of September and all.

I have a lot of lessons to teach you — and the most basic one is easy to understand: ALWAYS BE NERVOUS heading into earnings. Nothing is set in stone and even if you had inside info on a company — there’s no way of knowing how Wall Street is going to digest said news. If you have easy profits like I did with SONO yesterday, 9 times out of 10 take it.

Earnings will be reported after the bell and I am sure it will be good. Nevertheless, I have a 9% intra-day gain on today’s purchase — because I am the best trader alive today, so I just ripped out the position and will be keeping my original sized position (5%) into the fires of joy.

My basis is around ~$19, so I literally can’t lose.

WISH ME LUCK.

There was a brief moment this morning when I endured momentary pause, a temporary ambivalence opposed to risk. I’m past that stage in my life now and consider myself to be a changed man. There were moments when I’d fret for loss and pretend the market was actually up 400 points — because it made me feel good. I’d root and cheer and toss sandwiches into my mouth and swallow them whole.

Nowadays, I toss a few 6 min eggs into my mouth, alongside some bread and ham and a little mayo, and cheer and root for my portfolio to go up. It’s like a non-stop party here at House Fly — the residence booming with the tunes of Bach and the dogs barking, the dishwasher humming along. Ah, what a wonderful existence.

I’m double long into SONO earnings due to a fervor inside of me — one that has always dared death to test my mettle. I am not scared of bankrupted myself and I’m not even scared of death. We can only die once — what’s the big deal?

Having said that, I just took time out of eating the ham and the eggs and the bread to buy some QUOT. Try to stop me.

Off to NYC for a day trip.

The market has been celebrated this year for its returns. But look at my Bubble Basket and how the index has traded flat over the past few month — stuck in a trading range.

While tempting to exercise some bravado here, I cannot get myself to making an purchases just yet, especially with the profile of the market so weak and biased against tech.

Nevertheless, I scoured my position and decided to increase my stake in SONO — not because I love the company or believe in the speakers they retail, but only because the stock is heading higher.

Best case scenario, markets rip higher and the Nasdaq leads. Only then would I consider spending my 25% cash position on high priced designer stocks.

Dow futures are +60, Nasdaq +18 — because we’re in a bull market and there is nothing that can stop stocks from barreling higher.

First thing tomorrow, I am going to dive headlong into a pool filled with blood, bear blood that is. I endeavor to eat those who bet against me — ripping their flesh from their skulls and digesting their bones into my matrix.

I have a list of stocks that I want to buy and will execute those trades tomorrow, live in Exodus — because it’s the American thing to do.

Good night and sleep well.

These are the stocks that 90% of investment advisors are buying now for their clients. If they do not buy these stocks, they are fired, but first whipped within an inch of their lives.

Please play song while reading. Thanks.

These past 4 months have been glorious, as I’ve fashioned myself to be a high techFAG, cavorting amongst those in Silicon Valley, chuckling in high pitched tones over $50 lattes and handcrafted chocolates. But as the leaves turn brown, so does my heart turn black, pining for the dark and ominous days of when I was a coal man — stuck in a non-descript mine with nothing but a pick ax and a canteen of water to survive. I’d flail and punish the cave with my hard and angry swings, inhaling the gravy of the mountains deep into my lungs — tarring them with the butter of God.

Time has come, I think — to once again thrust myself into the cave, spelunking down into where the bats and the dragons reside, harkening back to an era of when America was young and beautiful and also disgusting and very dumb. But there was a romanticism in all of that ignorance, one born inside the coal mine — procuring the rock of Satan for the steamships of Athena and the power plants of Poseidon.

I’ll have you know that I am long CLF, in a small degree, but long nevertheless. I will also have you know that the stock has been trending wayward and up — away from any semblance of weakness. Under the Great Trump, America is mining again — men diving into small carts and being roller coastered into an underworld of wonder, danger, and also hard work and toil. Swinging the ax and picking at the cave for the combustible rocks that blacken the earth is a noble and just cause. If we do it enough, perhaps all of our problems will wash away, along with life itself.

Have a gander at the seasonality of CLF — implying now is a retarded time to barrel into the shares. I do so, nonetheless.

To some of you East and West coasters, working inside the bowels of a coal mine sounds foreign, mainly because you’re all lazy sloths, accustomed to having your cars powered by electricity and your coffee heated by solar panels affixed to your ovens. “The Fly” is a man of the people, sensitive to the plights of those inside the shitholes of America — far and distant places forgotten by the nation — because the memory of them was too injurious for most to reconcile with. While the people of Pennsylvania, West Virginia and Ohio might be laughed upon for their nonsensical existence, I support them and their efforts to reopen all of America’s coal mines and bring forth a new era of Victorian steel mills and steamship operators and cast iron works to be outfitted on new Second Empire Queen Ann homes for the rich and row flats for the working class — the honest class of beer swilling game goers.

I’ve been busy cooking s gourmet meal the past two hours and I had a brief opportunity to glance at markets and was delighted to see that it had bounced. I wasn’t particularly worried about its fate, knowing full well that all dips are bought and all upwards movements are piled into. My only reticence is my schedule, which is chaotic with personal issues and of course success. After spates of wanton success, I tend to become a contrarian fucktard — barreling into inverse ETFs and making a fool out of myself.

Nowadays, I simply reserve cash and trade in cannabis plays, hoping for degeneracy to grip investor psyche. It’s all sport, really. The game of winning and being right is the primary mover for me, not the money. I have enough money to sustain my lifestyle for the next 10,000 years. My goal here, and now, is to spread my brand of propaganda and teach people, as best I can, using the experience I’ve attained over two decades of money management — to cajole people into FIRING THEIR FUCKING STOCKBROKERS.

I know you asshats think you’re financial advisors or planners — but you’re just stockbrokers — so fuck off.

Have a good weekend gents and be sure to take an Exodus trial, or if you’re looking for a quick fix — visit our public assistance site FreeStockAlgos.com for our stock grading system.

Next week we’ll be back at it — killing bears for sport.

On my way out — I sold ENDP for a 7% loss and bought SPOT and SONO — because I like music, even though I don’t dance. I once took formal dancing lessons — learning the waltz and several other jazz steps — which was both cringe and humiliating at the same time. I suppose I could hold my own in a ballroom floor, but would most likely be ashamed of anything I might do on an actual dance floor.

Any of you danceFAGS actively embarrass family members by ‘tearing up’ the dance floor?

At any rate, my cash is still ~35% and I’m still long K and CLX. I will sell them next week and barrel back into some SAAS stocks — which are all very strong, and rich, and thin. Have a look at HUBS and behold it’s grandeur.

Wall Street is having an aneurysm over the Rogan-Musk interview — where Elon smoked a blunt and sipped on some whiskey.

According to Cramer, this is behavior unbecoming an a Senator publicly traded CEO. Instead, maybe Musk should become a stoner and play a guitar in a coastal city off California.

Here’s Cramer’s indignation.