iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
18,227 Blog Posts

Another Day of Massive Wins at House Fly — You’ve Been Dispatched

Winning is nothing without the sweet taste of revenge — the decidedly dumbfounded look on the faces of my enemies. Over the past 3 weeks, I’ve been on the greatest and most prolific trading streaks of my illustrious career.

I recall during the dot com rise a streak of twenty straight successful trades, but I didn’t know any better and the wins were taken for granted — because I was young, very overzealous, and entirely retarded.

What I’ve done here is nothing short of magic — a 25 for 28 streak that has produced percentage gains in the high double digits. I’ve received emails from several of you, showing off account balances tripled in value — all thanks to my very hard and steady market hand.

Listen to me now and listen to me good: I will never lose money in a stock trade again. I will navigate this market perfectly and trade to and fro with space alien magician (SAM) precision. If you’re fortunate, and also lucky, you can glean from my wake and benefit from my wins, feeding your families steaks and potatoes instead of grilled cheese and pasta.

Heading out the day, winshipping.

Top picks: OSTK, BILI, EVBG, QTWO, and CBLK

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8 comments

  1. it is showtime

    We need Chart Art,
    it should include a river rat. lava. and a botched hernia mesh.

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  2. acehood

    Moar coyote stories please

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  3. ericbakerbruce

    You had me until you picked Overstock

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    • joyous__ending

      OSTK has formed a nice base. I didn’t but any today with that 3$ move.
      Buying tomorrow.

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      • wolfdaddy

        Does that piece of shit move up with crypto? I would guess there is a short lived crypto bounce coming soon.

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  4. ferd

    “Winning is nothing without the sweet taste of revenge”

    Ha.

    In the revenge genre, what are your favorite movies??

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  5. jbandy

    You dont have ENPH? Rippin after hours!

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  6. stuckcity

    all hail King Fly first of his name.
    Thanks to your picks i’m showing these ungrateful bitches who the real boss is. Acats in steady flow.

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