iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
18,227 Blog Posts

Markets Surge and Storage Cryptos For the Win

The market looked weak early going, with trannies holding her back — but now things are in full hard cock mode — sprinting with alacrity.

Over in crypto land, things are looking popping. My favorite sector in cryptos has been and always will be storage cloud based services. Today, SC, STORJ and ELF are beasting to the upside — and there’s nothing you or your stupid friends can do about it. Both SC and STORJ are up 30% and 20%, respectively — a proper move for a proper set of coins.

The big story of the day has to be the turn in CMG. Much of the earnings beat is due to mobile. I suppose this trend could be confirmed by the share price performance of GRUB. Isn’t it odd how GRUB beat YELP to the punch on food delivery? The people from YELP should fucking kill themselves for missing out. They should’ve owned that part of the business. Instead they’re stuck dicking around with scam artists leaving fake food reviews.

Americans are very fat and also very lazy, which is why PZZA and DPZ go higher every day. Find a stock that sends food to Americans and I will show you a higher stock price. Privately held Panera is getting into food delivery in a big way. I’m convinced that the only way to thrive in this environment is to cater to the comfort demands of fat faced Americans.

Banks and industrials are not participating today. It’s all about tech, select basic resources, and some REITs bouncing off their tombstones.

I’m kind of frozen here watching SOXS and LABD punch my face off, only partially offset by OSTK. In my quant portfolio, I’ve got big dicked gains of 1.2% for the day — led by SJW.

Now we sit back and perform Voodoo rituals, eagerly awaiting for a most egregious reversal in the markets — helping HORATIO CLAWHAMMER come out of hibernation and into the limelight of blogging stardom.

 

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One comment

  1. juice

    I await the day when CNBC & Bloomberg will run with your market recap.. to wit —

    “The market looked weak early going, with trannies holding her back — but now things are in full hard cock mode — sprinting with alacrity.”

    “Americans are very fat and also very lazy, which is why PZZA and DPZ go higher every day. Find a stock that sends food to Americans and I will show you a higher stock price. Privately held Panera is getting into food delivery in a big way. I’m convinced that the only way to thrive in this environment is to cater to the comfort demands of fat faced Americans.”

    “It’s all about tech, select basic resources, and some REITs bouncing off their tombstones.”

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