Markets Hate the Paris Accord; Futures Lift to Record Highs

We’re robber barons again. Feel free to dump medical waste into your neighbor’s fresh water stream — killing off his fish supply — drowning bitch ass seagulls with vats of WTI crude. Gone are the days of catamite led climatefags; in come the industrialists.

On the news of Trump urinating on the faces of Macron and Merkel, S&P futures are hitting record highs in the overnight session, +5.

Additionally, WTI futures are down another 0.75% — because we’re gonna drill so many god damned oil wells, we’re gonna be knee deep with the stuff — especially in the Gulf of Mexico.

Incidentally, my quantitative model has been profitable in every week since I implemented it into action. The way the market stands now, I might be forced to reduce my equity exposure in exchange for GLD/TLT — since risk off assets have outperformed stocks this week. While it’s true, stocks have traded up, so have gold and bonds.

My top performers for the week have been SIRI (+6%), VIV (+4.4%), ALGN (+3%). My overall median return is 0.7% — outpacing the SPY by 0.25%.

The top performing market cap segment in the market has been $5-10b, which means I’d have to sell all of my $10-50b names. For bulls, this is a very positive sign, as speculative fervor moves down the market cap ladder — overall gains increase.

Our planet continues to warm. Ice sheets continue to melt. The weather channel will continue to ‘scream science’, while you reprobate coalfags continue to destroy the planet and permit Germany and China to become ‘leaders’ of the free world. Plus, you’re going to let them profit from a gorillion dollar renewable fuels market.

Great job, apes.

‘This goes way beyond US politics.’

It took the CEO of Goldman Ballsachs, Lloyd Blankfein, six years to find the inspiration and the courage to speak out in the world of Twitter. He has finally done so. Joining fellow executives, and world leaders, in decrying the President’s action in removing the United States from the world saving Paris accord, Blankfein expressed his deep dismay that America will not be participating in global warming rackets.

Today's decision is a setback for the environment and for the U.S.'s leadership position in the world. #ParisAgreement

— Lloyd Blankfein (@lloydblankfein) June 1, 2017

Elon Musk manufactures electric cars. Ergo, he removed himself from associating with the President.

Am departing presidential councils. Climate change is real. Leaving Paris is not good for America or the world.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) June 1, 2017

GE’s Jeff Immelt is disappointed.

Disappointed with today’s decision on the Paris Agreement. Climate change is real. Industry must now lead and not depend on government.

— Jeff Immelt (@JeffImmelt) June 1, 2017

The world has changed, forever.

The view out the window since Trump pulled out of the Paris Accord pic.twitter.com/9PgMONHNeF

— ??Ramp Capital™?? (@RampCapitalLLC) June 1, 2017

UPDATE: Disney’s Bob Iger has joined Musk in quitting the Presidential Council.

Update: @Disney CEO Bob Iger joined @elonmusk in resigning from @realDonaldTrump's business advisory board. https://t.co/k9jtE6VkMQ

— Recode (@Recode) June 1, 2017

Get in here Trumpsters and explain to me how the President intends to recover from this scathing retort by France’s Macron. Not only did he chastise the Amerifats for being a nation of idle retards, hell bent on DESTROYING THE PLANET, he also invited all of your scientists to live in France — sucking off the government tit — dodging suicide attacks in Paris, whilst trying to solve the sun’s fucked up effects on the planet.

He capped off his speech by cock-smacking Trump in the face, proclaiming ‘make the planet great again.’

Truly embarrassing, really.

Climatefags just got choked the fuck out with a plume of coal dust. You know what to do with your thermometers global warming shills — stick them way up your ass and enjoy the scenery — as America mines for coal in your fucking front yard.

The President announced today that he’s pulling out of the multilateral climate treaty — due to its onerous and deleterious impositions on the American people. It’s worth noting, pulling out of the deal doesn’t equate to free license to dump medical waste into reservoirs — but releases us from a vast, global, bureaucracy of inferior sub-humans who errantly punish the greatest people to ever walk the planet, in favor of third world shit-heaps.

In other words, the government will no longer impose rules and regulations on American businesses that people in Nigeria or China are free to ignore.

#MAGA

As a result of this bold, “America first” declaration of war on science, globalist libshits have lost their mind. Former President of Mexico and professional drug smuggler, Vincente Fox, said the United States has declared war on the planet itself.

Withdrawal from #ParisAgreement, @realDonaldTrump condemns this generation and those to come. He's declaring war on the planet itself.

— Vicente Fox Quesada (@VicenteFoxQue) June 1, 2017

CNN Fake News points out that by pulling out of the deal, the United States aligns itself with only two other countries, Syria and Nicaragua.

The US joins Syria and Nicaragua as one of the three countries not in the Paris climate agreement https://t.co/hKGFr7iTWn pic.twitter.com/X9Oe9JVPHl

— CNN (@CNN) June 1, 2017

That talking point is completely meaningless, however, since most countries around the world have barely moved past the invention of the wheel. The Paris Climate Treaty was designed to punish the United States, helping to ‘equal the playing field’ by permitting third world cesspools to grow their economies, ‘by any means necessary’ while America shut down industry in the name of carbon emissions.

BEHOLD: President Donald John Trump.

Most technical analyst fags eschew mean reversion because they’re always chasing alpha. I believe I’ve demonstrated here enough times that buying dips is a highly profitable and probable method, which has convinced even the most skeptical amongst you to take this trading mode seriously.

Yesterday oil stocks in Exodus were most oversold since 2009. Today they’re up 1.5%.

The poor lads at OPEC can’t catch a break. They keep slashing production and American shalefags keep offsetting the supply dynamics through wanton drilling. Now, out of nowhere, deep water drilling costs are collapsing, which has led to a resurgence in the practice.

The old line in the sand for deep water drilling used to be $100 per barrel. Since the, austerity corrected the wayward spending habits of overzealous drillers. Now we’re looking at $40 per barrel as being the break even point.

“There is life in deep-water yet,” said Angus Rodger, director of upstream Asia-Pacific research at Wood Mackenzie in Singapore. “When oil prices fell, many projects were deferred, but the ones that were deferred first were deep-water because the overall break-evens were highest. Now in 2017, we’re seeing signs that the best ones are coming back.”

Recent projects include Kaikias in the Gulf of Mexico by Royal Dutch Shell, with a break even of below $40. BP, the fucking destroyer of the GOM, is starting a new asshole project, ironically dubbed ‘Mad Dog Phase 2’ that will cost $9b, down from $20b.

According to Transocean, a total of 8 offshore projects are set for approval over the next three years — all with breakevens below $50.

Rental rates for rigs have been halved since 2014, leading many experts to believe a bottom might be in for the sector. If so, there are a slew of deep water drillers worth looking at whose shares have been obliterated — namely RIG (-37%), HP (-32%), NBR (-47%), OAS (-36%), WLL (-41%), ESV (-35%) and BBG (-51%).

One of the arguments for Bitcoins is that there is a finite supply of 21 million. However, Bitcoin isn’t the only game in town anymore. As a point in fact, there are upwards of 730 cryptocurrencies trading on the market right now. This is literally the definition of dilution, which will eventually lead to the inexorable destruction of the fake currency market being purported as the ‘next big thing’ to hit main street.

This craze was derided and laughed at until Fred Wilson and other VCs got involved about a year and change ago.

So here are some of the larger cryptocurrencies, affixed with market caps and percentage gains over the past 24hrs. You tell me if this is normal.

Bitcoins – $40b – +10.5%
Ethereum – $21b – -1.9%
Ripple – $11.9b – +43%
NEM – $2b – +18%
Ethereum Classic – $1.6b – -0.16%
Litecoin – $1.5b – +18.5%
Dash – $1b – +11%
Monero – $650m – +12%
Stratis – $550m – -7%
Bytecoin – $440m – +11%
Stellar Lumens – $405m – +31%
Waves – +$350m – +35%

GTFO.

Apparently, our beloved men of banking industry, the hands of God, aren’t thrilled by this wave of low volatility, new record highs, type of market. As a matter of fact, the low octane market has led to investor apathy, fuckers mailing it in — collecting all sort of wins for doing nothing.

Markets that heretofore enjoyed ‘idiosyncratic’ events were adored by Goldman, Morgan and the like, cravenly and without regard for common decency, preyed on the weak — relieving them from their currency.

Good for Main Street is wretchedly bad for Wall Street

“Volatility hasn’t been that great actually — it’s made for a very tough slog,” Eric Wasserstrom, a banking analyst at Guggenheim Securities LLC, said Wednesday on Bloomberg Television. Still, “I don’t know if we really want to be rooting for political dislocation as something that really helps the investment banking community.”

JP Morgan markets revenues are in a woeful tailspin, off by 15% in April and May (YOY) due to a harrowing decline in bond trading. Without the need for credit default swaps to hedge bets, the catamites at JP Morgan have been doing a lot of box watching instead of, ostensibly, marking up their clients. The same sordid decline is being endured at Bank of America, in the magnitude of -10 to -12%, while Goldman only admitted that trading was ‘subdued.’

“There haven’t been that many idiosyncratic events, and we need a few more of them,” Lake said. “As a sweeping generalization, low rates, a more cautious outlook on rates, and low volatility have led to low client flows and a generally quiet, subdued and challenging trading environment.”

The CEO of Morgan Stanley, John Gorman, reflecting on the rancid Bank of America numbers, said his firm was in a similar ‘fag-box’, stating that the troubled at JP Morgan and Bank of America “are reflecting reality and I don’t think we’re very different.”

Debt issuance has been a problem on Wall Street, with nearly a 7% decline in America and -18% in Europe, while emerging markets were flat. New loans dropped by a heart attack rate of 28%, globally, according to Bloomberg.

Because of this, coupled with a flattening yield curve, shares of Wall Street’s big banks have slumped. Goldman is down 15% over the past 3 months, while Morgan Stanley shed -9%, JP Morgan -10%, WFC -12% and BAC -10%.

What Wall Street needs is a good olde fashioned market calamity.

Stay tuned.

Last night President Trump typed in a word ‘covfefe’, which lit the internet ablaze. Obviously, we can’t have this man have access to the nuke codes.

Some believe Trump was in a drunken stupor, and wrongly typed indiscernible words into this phone. Libshits were swinging from vines, attempting humor at the President’s expense. Since then, translations of the mysterious word have surfaced.

The White House said the word was typed on purpose and that they knew what it meant. Either way, this is juvenile horseshit.

Alas, Hillary Clinton attempts to capitalize on grande stupidity, taking her cool factor from -10 to -100.

People in covfefe houses shouldn't throw covfefe. https://t.co/M7oK5Z6qwF

— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) June 1, 2017

Don Trump Jr. checked and mated her. Game, set, match.

What house is he in again??? That's what I thought. You're trying too hard. https://t.co/9Yomz1Emb5

— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) June 1, 2017