I once set upon Plymouth, MA during one of my escapades into the northeast. Upon seeing that stupid rock, a tour guide happened to be there to remind all Americans in attendance that natives hated the rock and visited it each and every year, mourning the day they let pilgrimfags land and make a home in America. He described it as ‘the worst mistake they ever made,’ which is probably true — but it wasn’t for him to say. While you sit there in your Mcmansions, devouring turkey legs and watching the foolsball on your 75 inch OLED screens, native Americans are freezing their balls off spitting on an inanimate object in Plymouth.
Yours truly is very busy in the kitchen, attempting to make the stuffing — but it’s crowded with others trying to cook too, so I’m taking a break. For those of you in need of a truly great holiday present, might I suggest my first published story? It’s not on sale, because sales are for losers. However, it’s a fine book and tells my tale during the dot com days — a time and place that will forever be remembered as the most perverse occasion in American history. I am nearly complete with part 2, which should be ready by New Year’s — god willing.
I haven’t drunken anything aside from water so far. I did crack open a bottle of champagne, but that was for the turkey and it’s on ice. What do you GIGNATIC FAGGOTS drink on this celebratory day? I’ve been on a straight gin martini diet for some time now, only mixed with a little olive brine when I’m feeling adventurous. For today, however, I might go champagne, red, white wines and then vomit. Maybe in that order, or perhaps mixed up a bit.
At any rate, I am very ornery and some of you are not very good people, so you deserve to be beaten about the face and gums. But on this day, whilst the Indians sob over a fucking rock in Plymouth, MA, I’d like to wish you and yours a very Happy Thanksgiving. I said “I’d like to wish..”, which is notably different from actually doing it — so there’s always that.
Stan Getz is booming throughout the house…the kitchen is clearing out…the champagne is on ice…time to go.
Cheers,
Le Fly
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the stuffing is crucial and having a sous-chef make it is really a good idea because the stress on the chef is already great. the stuffing should be ready by 11:00 am which I assume you did. Put a dash of sherry in, and have a glass. Champagne? maybe at desert? Coors Lite until just before the gravy is made then triples of whatever. A high quality red wine, Italian with the meal. Nighty-nite soon after.
Had a nice Pinot with turkey dinner. Will probably switch to bourbon neat. Angel’s Envy. Incredibly smooth, which is good since I’m half the drinker I used to be. Cheers.
Dark and stormy
Happy Thanksgiving
Dr. Fly!!
Have a slice of that
`Facundo Paraiso` based
pumpkin pie.
No.
Native Americans don’t know what would have happened to them subsequent to successfuly fighting off invading Europeans.
Cherry picking would-a-coulda.
I take it you’re no longer a grass-fed blogger?
As it happened, after a fine feast I prepared with loving care and satisfying beyond what wall-street money could buy, I left my mother’s abode and 5 minutes later it caught on fire. Since she is blind, she is essentially helpless in a fast-moving fire but my 7-year old grandson saved the day. He drug her outside with all his little might, despite her opposition, and phoned 911 with her phone. Firefighters are calling him a “hero” but he was just being his usual self.
House is in ruins but no lives were lost. Thankful…
Not sure what to do with this, but since you posted here I choose to laugh hysterically. God bless your grandson. Long live the Queen!
Pretty convenient that you left 5 minutes before the fire broke out, don’t ya think?
Arson department gonna have some questions for you.
Dinner was over and everyone went home (including my nephew firefighter who left several minutes before the fire broke out).
It was only by God’s grace that my grandson remained, thus averting almost certain tragedy.
We would all be served well in these halls by acknowledging it is the Lord Who provides our income, health, family and safety.
Thus it is God Who gets my gratitude and deserves yours.
Nice quick story Le Fly, I mean ” Bob Smith”
Where the hells FLY?
Musta drank too much champagne..
This site shut down??
Where’s the bitcoin and stocked markets post where you expound at great length the brilliance of the Fly and the riches to which he has guided his flock via Exodus oversold signals? Happy thanksgiving.
Indians that had not invented the wheel yet had it coming!