“The Fly” Is Going on a ‘Hunting Expedition’ and You’re All Invited

I just got out of the shower, after languishing on the couch for a few hours, watching my eldest play a video game. He’s actually playing Romance of the Three Kingdoms, part IX — a game I used to play 15 years ago. I never got into the shooter games, aside from a brief period whence I took to the Halo game with my gravity hammer. As a young boy and man child in my 20s, I preferred strategy games. That’s how my mind works.

Speaking of which, I’ve decided to start investing with my balls again — setting up a small personal fund to partake in grand exhibitions like we used to do around these parts. Truth be told, every since I quit managing money, emotionally, I haven’t been obsessed with stocks like I used to. Many of you shitheads out there know it and have called me out on it. After 20 years in the business of killing myself trading stocks, losing my hair and my fucking sanity, I needed a respite.

I’ll still do the Exodus inspired automated portfolio management on a weekly basis. Quit frankly, that’s the future of our business and you know it. Alas, I need to have a little fun in this market place, with spirit. Fall is coming and Trump is a god damned animal driving a train, heading for a brick wall filled with plutonium. I want to partake in the volatility on a level that will satisfy my savage desires.

How would this new approach look?

I’m thinking along the lines of swing trading, maybe some day trades, based off news and good olde intuition. I cannot recreate the magic we once had here again — but I can certainly provide enough testosterone infused lambasting that will create new memories of when we were middled aged and stupid and made fun of CEOs and then shorted their stocks. Perhaps we will make fun of Bill Ackman again and go long his shorts, or even write open letters to some fucktard executive who dares to get in our way of greatness.

All are invited to this new chapter, even my friends in ANTIFA.

What I expect from you are ideas. Give me your best stories. I will look into them and maybe act upon the advice provided to me by the shadows in my urinal (inside joke for old schoolers).

For starters, I am thinking about buying FIZZ. Why? Well, I hate FIZZ because I missed out on the whole La Croix nonsense and it makes me mad every time I see their cans littering my stores. Therefore, the correct play here would be to go Constanza, the exact opposite of what I want to do, and then chide Coca Cola and Pepsi into acquiring the company — calling out their shit-cans filled with junk and how FIZZ is superior to them on every level imaginable. To be sincere with you here, both KO and PEP dropped the ball BIG TIME by not buying MNST years ago. If they miss out on FIZZ, their C-level executives should all be executed in the public square.

Goodnite.