See a Bear; Punch a Bear

When I was younger, I used to methodically target people who shorted stocks that were heavily shorted. The theory was, during periods of excess, heavily shorted stocks would become ‘barn burners’, trapping shorts inside a house that was aflame. My purpose was merely to squirt gasoline at the house, roasting marshmallows and eating snacks, taking in the fumes of burning flesh with delight (no serial killer).

With Hurricanes menacing America, sweeping away whole cities, now is the perfect time to apply the figure four leg lock to shorts and target their favorite stocks.

Here are a few names, courtesy of Exodus, that might become enclosed burning coffins for bears soon.

RES, CRC, CAR, CZR, MTCH, GOGO, P, MNDK, NK, BLUE, IMMU, REGI, WLL

There are many ways to win with the above stocks. However, no win will be sweeter than the one presiding over the grave of a bear. They’re like nazis, but worse. They literally want to see markets go down and old people die of thirst. If you see a bear, punch a bear. If you know of a stock that is heavily shorted, buy it and make the shorts lose all of their money, property and family. After their wives divorce them and their kids come to learn how evil their Dad’s were, you can then throw gigantic parties celebrating your success.