iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
17,003 Blog Posts

Took the Day Off to Walk About Princeton to Get Cursed at By Youngsters

The market was boring, so I took my aging ass on a fucking walk throughout the genteel streets of Princeton. I was wearing a button down shit, admittedly a tad tight. I’m not fat by any stretch, weighing in at 160lbs, but the shirt was a little neat if you know what I mean. To accompany the shirt, I wore blue jeans and a pinkish hat that I bought in Newport, RI. My beard is grown in and I look like a disheveled hipster in search of crack cocaine — a regular jackass fool in layman’s terms.

I ventured off to the local record shoppe and purchased some old jazz records, an avocation of mine. After that, I went to the bookstore, passed over a 1st edition Hemingway (A Moveable Feast) and bought a book on philosophy. I figure philosophy is a good method to teach my young ones about life — aside from experiencing it.

Then I bought a fucking kale salad, because my new vegan life demanded it — along with an order of fries — otherwise I’d starve to death.

So I’m walking to my overpriced car and a gaggle of 12 year olds, cycling on the sidewalk at frantic speeds approached me, making weird siren sounds with their mouths. One of the red headed brats, looked in my general direction, but avoided eye contact, mouthed off and said ‘FASHION POLICE, WHAT SORT OF FUCKING HAT IS THAT?’

This demonstration of virility in our Princeton youth made my day. I tipped my hat to them and proceeded to jog on, both amused and proud that our future is being secured by a recalcitrant generation filled with prospectively violent thieves and robbers, ready to do battle with the Whores of Babylon wearing funny hats in DC.

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28 comments

  1. zombie

    FIG

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  2. it is showtime

    4:44pm from fly And SPX close 2,444, As a few days ago, Looks like it was aimed, 12:30-3:50 general pretty even straight drift to the area, Last 10 min bump reaches up ‘somewhat suspiciously’
    I contend 2 triple-4 was a programmed outcome. For today

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  3. metalleg

    4 is bad luck for the Chinese. Anyone here Chinese?

    Anyway, Señor Fly, please head to HD and purchase a small, perhaps 18″ long, piece of wood. The next time some foul mouthed man boy rides past you on his bike and gives you lip, just stick the piece of wood inside his tire through his spokes. Front tire works much better and doing it at speeds over 15 MPH makes for a great experience.

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    • Dr. Fly

      Nah, boys will be boys. I used to shoot bee bee guns at men like me when I was their age.

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      • heaterman

        Caught my twin daughters throwing grapes at passersby from underneath the blue spruce in the front yard when they were about 8.
        At least they were’t chucking eggs…
        Kids.

        They eventually turned into reasonably well adjusted adults and are now knocking down low 6 figure incomes from social networking sales.
        Go figure.

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  4. oldmantrader

    Glorious day.

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  5. hanging on

    My kid works at the Italian market on the corner next to said record store…..

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  6. hedge500

    I went on a walk in an area where I was flipping a condo. A group on youngsters rode past on their bikes and I said ‘hey guys’ as they were looking at me. The reply? “SUCK A COCK” I laughed and walked on. Filthy peasants.

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    • Dr. Fly

      Nice. Let them enjoy their youth now, for they will be fighting neocon wars overseas in the future.

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  7. traderconfessions
    traderconfessions

    Pinkish hat? 160 pounds. Adopting a gay lifestyle late in life is trendy. Live and let live I say.

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    • Dr. Fly

      I just reported you to my local ANTIFA chapter. They will be knocking on your door tonight to kill you.

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  8. unrelated

    I try so hard to understand the culture and kids these days, its all so cryptic! yet ironically or else ultimately they’re innocently a reflection of ourselves so it’s easy to blame the adults for the wayward youth, again us, this process of the incredible revolving blame, I recognize it in the youth I try to understand. Mirrors, reflections, etcetera. No fault, no blame is the end game to this logical conclusion.

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  9. fryguy15

    I once shot a AA battery out of a wrist-style stinged shot. Hit a jogger in the side of the neck, dropped him to his knees. Kids can be brutal.

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  10. joseph25

    First edition Hemmingway. Nice.
    With dust jacket?

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  11. mad marsupial

    I think I’m a bit older than you, but since you mentioned “hipster” check “this day in history.”
    Women arrested because they wanted to vote.
    Italy declared on Germany
    Emmett Hill murdered
    Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his “I Have a Dream” speech.
    Singer Wayne Osmond (The Osmonds) is 66.

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  12. acehood

    Sounds like the Clockwork Orange crew in the making.

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  13. The Other Good Doctor
    The Other Good Doctor

    I love this post. It’s the kind of whimsical writing that keeps me reading Le Fly.

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  14. The Other Good Doctor
    The Other Good Doctor

    Last year some kids egged my house. I was sitting in the office at the front of the house reading, probably a señor Tropicana post, and these eggs hit the windows in the office door and scared the shit out of me.

    I was furious and came wheeling out (paraplegic) brandishing a wooden Bokken training sword over my head saying “I see you little motherfuckers hiding in my bushes!”

    They ran off laughing. I gave them exactly the reaction they wanted I realized. And after I calmed down I chuckled at it all. Remembering the shit I did was much worse growing up on the prairies.

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  15. Marc David

    Princeton Record Exchange
    Labyrinth Books
    D’Angelo Italian Market?

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  16. bennyhill

    You are a kale salad in a pink hat? Literally laughing out loud right now.

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  17. 99 lead balloons

    No reply from sarc?

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