iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
16,545 Blog Posts

#Resist Trump; Sell Your Stocks and Short the Market Until It Crashes!

At the vanguard of President Trump’s boastful Presidency is the wondrous stock market and its gains. Therefore, and in an effort to take that away from him, I want the market to be destroyed.

Let me explain.

Just like walls, this President is evil. His infectious brand of greed is making people on Wall Street clamor for gains, causing asset prices to overheat. Back in the glorious days of Obama, he lectured us to ‘eat our peas’ and to ‘pay our fair share.’ We might not have liked to do any of those things, but Father Barack knew what was best.

But with Trump, all we get is cocaine parties and obscenely gauche stock market extravaganzas. Someone has to put an end to all of this success.

Bear in mind, if the market keeps going up, there’s no fucking way we could ever install a decent American into the White House. People will be so high off the drugs and the euphoria of being rich, they’ll reelect the orange orangutan, punishing the intellectual elite in this country to another 4 years of twitter shitposting and making trannies suffer under the pangs of restriction.

If you are a true American patriot and care about your children and their gender of choice, you will sell your stocks now and ask your stocked brokers to sell them again, so that you could be short.

Sadly, the only way we are going to save this country is by breaking it first — into thousands of little pieces, causing grave unemployment and hunger not endured since the Great Depression.

When the history books are written, we need those authors to paint a picture of Trump that is black with evil intent, one that depicts a man who presided over the greatest and most calamitous stock market decline ever. It will make the tulip mania decline look conservative. I am talking ZERO BID for JP Morgan, motherfucking 2 cents for Berkshire Hathaway.

We need Bill Gates to cut his own head off on a fucked up and jumbled live Xbox feed that will keep timing out, forcing people to watch still frames of his arteries being severed with his Nesmuk blade.

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14 comments

  1. lastbid

    great fuckn post. fuckn zero bid. I want to see $W and all that bid up garbage steamrolled into motherfuckn pennies.

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  2. schadenfreude

    US President Donald Trump says North Korea “will be met with fire and fury” if it threatens the US.

    Notice he said if North Korea ‘threatens’ and not if North Korea ‘attacks’.

    Sen. Lindsey Graham said last week that he believes military action against North Korea is “inevitable” and that “if there’s going to be a war to stop them, it will be over there. If thousands die, they’re going to die over there, they’re not going to die here and [Trump] told me that to my face.”

    Man, IDK. I am thinking war with North Korea is inevitable at this point. 70 years now, nothing has worked. Things seem to be coming to a head.

    1) North Korea is eventually squeezed so hard that they finally lash out after realizing that regime change is inevitable, preferring to ‘go down fighting.’
    2) Some random event sets off conflict. Japanese civilan plane shot down or something involving Russia / China / South Korea.
    3) Trump and generals initiate first strike because US is ‘threatened’…. also last ditch rescue attempt of horrid poll numbers.

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    • it is showtime

      People on social media in the region said we’re used to this, we’re used to it, every so often. I said it looked different this time: around Dec/Jan

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  3. southernjam

    Wow. That got dark…

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  4. WrongView

    Is the liberal social agenda tearing the country apart, or is it this:

    https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/08/07/opinion/leonhardt-income-inequality.html?src=me

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  5. bushwacker2

    Don’t look, but the NASDAQ registered a Hindenburg Omen signal ever day last week. Yesterday was the 6th day in a row now. Your crash is coming….

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  6. Cricket

    BRK to zero and BTC to infinity. Charlie Munger in the soup line. Overnight intergenerational wealth transfer. Karma.

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  7. levrage

    Fade the extremes. That’s all need know.

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  8. roundwego

    Awsome.

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  9. mr_peartree

    6 months ago you were sucking off donald harder than monica lewinsky — what happened? did he ruin your dress?!?!?!

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