iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,419 Blog Posts

Bernie Sanders Says He Might Run for President in 2020, But Statistics Suggests He’ll Likely Be Dead

I know a lot of people who like Bernie Sanders, even republicans. Having Sanders as President of the United States would really irk the deep staters. His grande ideas are, generally, marxist in nature — which jibe pretty well with the true nature of neconism. However, where he strays off the reservation is when it comes to war.

He’s not a big fan.

Plus, he fucking hates bankers.

Nevertheless, good olde Bernie said he might run for President in 2020.

When asked if he might give it another try, in spite of being pitchforked over the coals by the DNC and Hillary, an associate of Sanders said “yes.”

Yes, is the answer,” said one Sanders associate who helped with the senator’s previous bid, in response to a question about whether the Independent senator from Vermont had begun to think about another run.

“He thinks he’s earned the right to run again, and he believes if he would have been the [Democratic] candidate he would have won against Trump.”
The source also suggested that Sanders is making his plans with other candidates in mind.

“The last thing he’s going to do is step aside and let Joe Biden take it,” the Sanders associate said.

Granted, a bullishit affirmation by some unnamed associate borders on fake news. I get it. You can thank The Hill for that. But I wanted to make a more salient point, one that adheres to the actuarial laws of life expectancy and mathematics.

In 4 years from now, Mr. Sanders is more likely to be dead, than picking out a campaign manager for another failed Presidential run. According to recent statistics, the life expectancy for American males is 78.7475. By 2020, Mr. Sanders would’ve surpassed the expected expectancy for a man living in America — placing his chances of success at exactly zero.

Please do not argue with math, it just makes you look like hairless gorillas.

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23 comments

  1. stockslueth

    Old socialists never die, they just fade away.

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  2. nocigar

    The government says he’s got more than 10 yrs left https://www.ssa.gov/OACT/STATS/table4c6.html

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    • sarcrilege

      so it must be true if the .gov says it ‘cuz they never lie or misrepresent stats

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      • nocigar

        It’s simple actuarial science dude.

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        • metalleg

          If they want to pay you less today, they’ll tell you that you’ll live longer. That’s not science. It’s FAKE NEWS.

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          • nocigar

            So every US male over age 9 is going to die tomorrow, right?

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          • nocigar

            79

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          • sarcrilege

            Nobody is questioning the math here – which makes your argument valid. However, the issue here is the data itself given the impeccable track record of .gov apparatchiks’ ever so bent on goal-seeking desirable results to push their policy. As metalleg said, “If they want to pay you less today, they’ll tell you that you’ll live longer.” and provide you with “their” data to support “their” agenda.

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  3. sarcrilege

    Bernie would’ve been the deep state’s darling…cuz Bernie is pliable, unlike Trump.
    But, on the other hand, another reason why Bernie won’t run in 2020, if he’s still alive, is that he may be in jail along with his fat wife for fraud….just sayin’..

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  4. 99 lead balloons
    99 lead balloons

    he would be a good vice president. perhaps, this is how the dems will do it next time.

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    • metalleg

      Forget about thee Dems next time, with or without Bernie or his corpse.

      It doesn’t matter. Nothing does until this entire shit show blows the fuck up.

      The collapse of the US economy and monetary system is a fait accompli. Now that’s actuarial science. No easy way out of this one.

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      • sweetbillyv

        By that logic wouldn’t Japan be first?

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        • metalleg

          Based on very simple reasoning, perhaps, but each circumstance is very different with so many complexities. Maybe one goes and all the dominos just fall.

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          • moonshot

            Spoken like a true economist: well, it will happen this way, no doubt about it. Oh, the facts historically haven’t borne that out so far, according to my own theory? Well, real life is complicated you see, a lot of other factors come into play.

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  5. ironbird

    While the cucks in full bend one over mode watching the pathetic Game of Cunts. Something is about to blow.

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  6. Cricket

    Bernie, the ‘Independent’, will never get any traction without the backing of the Democratic party. His role last election to bring in the radical left millennial vote for Hillary.

    A little over a year ago I posted on a liberal San Fran board that Saint Bernie “Enough about the emails already” Sanders was not what they thought – he was just playing the game for money. Got severely attacked from all sides. It was a fascinating display of cognitive dissonance.

    Then within a week or so of endorsing Clinton he bought his third house with cash that he received from a 6+ figure so-called ‘book deal’ signed immediately after the DNC convention. Yeah right, that was a surprise.

    Here’s another prediction: Kid Rock is going to be a US Senator by 2019. He’s another Trump-like politician, the more they attack him, the stronger he will get.

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  7. ferd

    The math is not wrong, your use of it is.

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  8. moosh

    Are we talking hrc, drinking human blood dead or Weekend at Bernie’s, dead?

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    • moonshot

      I think a lot of Deep Staters would love the idea of electing a dead president, if they could get rid of those pesky succession rules.

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  9. hattery

    They can weekend at Bernie’s his entire presidency!

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