iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,441 Blog Posts

Tech Diverges From Dow — Momentum Stocks Surge to Record Highs

How many of you faggots are long AAOI because of the AMZN datacenter 100g upgrade cycle? I bet zero of you, myself included. Nevertheless, we’re in a market that is splintered, with retail, commodities, healthcare and industrials flagging, all the while tech surges to record highs.

This is, without question, reminiscent to the days of 2000, when my friends and I would lay waste to the old men snoring in the boardroom, long ‘old economy’ stocks. As punk youngsters in dot coms, the ‘new economy’ offered both opportunity and profit. I’d take market gains and spend them, thriftlessly, at my personal jeweler. I did everything wrong, as a young moron market participant in the latter days of the tech bubble.

Today, we have grandeur in a select few stocks, heavily owned by the laziest asset managers the world has ever known.

Here are today’s standouts.
SPWR, AAOI, MTCH, VSLR, VIPS, OLED, JD, SHOP, TWOU, DIOD, YELP, YY, SHOP, BABA.

Here are some non-tech stocks making waves.
RH, RAD, LFUS, TREE, TSLA, WYNN and of course PETS.

All of those stocks, more or less, irk me — save YELP. But no stock annoys me more than FIZZ, the makers of the ridiculous flavored water La Croix. Whenever I see those fucking cans in the store, I recoil. Upon seeing people place them into their wagons, I rage. I don’t know exactly why it makes me so mad — maybe because I missed the trend and used to talk about the stock when it was $15. Now that revenues and earnings are soaring, thanks to a ridiculous surge in flavored sparkling water in this country, I seethe with contempt.

Truth be told, the country is enwrapped in a sparkling water fad, in the same sort of way that drove MNST and Green Mountain Coffee higher in the early days. Admittedly, as much as I’d like to see the company bankrupted under a heap of returned La Croix cans, the stock is likely to trade higher.

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17 comments

  1. wolfdaddy

    I drink 12 of those faggot drinks per day

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    • NotGekko

      Co-sign. Love those faggot drinks. Topo Chico too.

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    • Dr. Fly

      I can’t wait for 97% of scientists to say they cause cancer.

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      • tradercaddy

        The cans do (Har Har!)
        Found this: The second concern is the fact that LaCroix cans contain Bisphenol A (BPA), an organic synthetic compound used to produce many common plastics. One common use of BPA is in aluminum cans. BPA has been a hot topic in recent years. Animal studies have found that consuming too much of it can have a negative effect on hormone levels and increase cancer risk.

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  2. tradercaddy

    PETS?
    Isn’t that the Pets.com symbol with the sock puppet that went bust in the .com bubble?

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  3. TheBigRagu

    Time to get your DRANK on.

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  4. fxtradepro

    My wife stocks our basement fridge with the shit. I’ve been a diet coke drinker for years, until this seemingly overnight anti-soda revolution has come about. La Croix does not taste good by any means, but this has somehow become a trendy drink for women. Perhaps more women are heading to the grocery stores these days than men. I know the only time I make that trip is when a bbq is on the schedule, otherwise I don’t have time for it.

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    • mensch

      As a man who enjoys the company of women who like to drink bad tasting fluids, La Croix is my favorite tell. The mere sight of the can and I am ready for action.

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  5. bushwacker2

    Yo—I actually have AAOI and I bought shares on Joolie 10th @ 67.30. Having fun.

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  6. bountyhunter1

    My ex wife used to drink La Croix back in 2009.. hence the ex part. That Topo Chico shit is pretty good though !

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