iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,417 Blog Posts

Massive Spike in Bitcoins Causes John McAfee to Make An Outrageous Prediction, Promises to ‘Eat His Own Dick’ On National Television

Now this is the sort of story you’re all interested in reading about. I can see it now, ‘man forced to eat his own penis after bitcoin bet goes sideways.’ This is the indelible position John ‘Jungle Killer’ McAfee has just placed himself into.

Unbelievably, he’s wagered to eat, mind you, his very own dick should the price of bitcoin not rise 22,636% to $500,000 inside of three short years.

Here is the Twitter thread where this outlandish bet was forged and made.

Thus far, it appears McAfee has the upper hand in this death bet, with bitcoins rising by an astounding 14% since yesterday’s trading price.

Even still, it will take a rally of monumental proportions to save the penis of John McAfee, who, obviously, places little value on his human anatomy. It’s worth noting, McAfee’s new company, MGTI, fashions themselves to be North America’s largest bitcoin miner — leveraging up to purchase high powered machines to mine the valuable cryptocurrency.

You can peruse his cocksure twitter feed, where he’s challenging a sundry of normies to six figure bets based off the eventual price of Bitcoin. He wants money to be held in escrow and will do a minimum of $100k.

He quite literally placed his balls where his mouth is. Let’s just hope it all ends up well for Mr. McAfee, as we’d all prefer to see him walking around, virile, with purpose, and placing future bets on his seemingly expendable and valueless penis.

No word on how he intends to ensure the removal of his penis by betting participants, who take him up on this venture.

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12 comments

  1. Raul3

    The world needs more dick wagerers

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  2. wolfdaddy

    Wasn’t is Cap? Who was supposed to eat his own dick? Never heard from him again. If he is wrong he probably blows his brains out. His pos company will fail and that will be the end

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  3. Dr. Fly

    Indeud it was. You can peruse the old iBC threads here.

    http://ibankcoin.com/flyblog/category/capsuckshisowndick/

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  4. RaginCajun

    oh man, ?. Too good.

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  5. brushfyah

    This made my day. Laughing out loud – thank you Prof Fly.

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  6. heckler

    Wow, ballsy move!

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  7. cancel19

    I am sure he meant that figuratively. Surgeons will be hired to temporarily dislocate a few vertebrae.

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  8. metalleg

    He has a goldfish named Dick.

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    • bushwacker2

      Either that or he is a flexible sort of fellow who can perform self-fellatio, thereby “eating his dick” in a perverse way, without having to severe his member and consume it.

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  9. dabigragu

    McAfee has been into yoga for decades. Think I’ll pass on viewing this pose though.

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