From the Desk of the Famous Stockbroker Vladimir Putin: “This Russian Business is Good, You Buy”

Hi, this is Vladimir Putin from Russia, how are you?

Listen, I know we’ve had difficult few months between our two countries. But maybe it’s time to put that on the side so that you can make a little money, no?

The name of the company is Yandex, ticker symbol is YNDX. Grab a pen, I’ll be brief.

The company makes lots of rubles in Russia. It’s like your Google, but much better and without all of the distractions of alternative businesses. Yandex will be bigger than Google, especially after we conquer your country and imprison all of the executive from Google and destroy its headquarters.

Look at how smoothly the search works, yes? I typed in a few questions and Yandex provided me with answers. Amazing.

Now you look at chart.

See how it goes up, like Russian spy inside your government? That’s good, very good.

Now look at quarterly numbers, which were just posted. Totally legit. Real numbers, no fakes like Google.

Reports Q1 (Mar) earnings of RUB11.41 per share, excluding non-recurring items, RUB2.18 better than the two analyst estimate of RUB9.23; revenues rose 25.4% year/year to RUB20.65 bln vs the RUB20.28 bln Capital IQ Consensus. Online ad rev +23%.

Based on the solid start of the year, we are increasing our revenue guidance, and currently expect our ruble-based revenue to grow in the range of 17% to 20% for the full year 2017.” This is a raise from +16-19%.

Now you buy, ok? The only question now is how much? Normally for my oligarch clients, I suggest purchase of 1 to 2 million shares, just to start out. I always like to say “Igor, if you want to facking make some money in the stock, take controlling interest, fire the board, and pay off government officials to make shares go higher. But if you just want to dip your toes, to give chance, buy 1-2 million shares. And don’t tell me you have to speak to Natasha. Who makes decision in your house to bake bread? Does Natasha ask you how long to bake bread, or does she just do it?”

So now you are familiar and very comfortable with Vlad. Now tell me my American friend, what is your social security numbers? I am going to fill out a new account form for you now — but it will need to be verified by a copy of your drivers license.

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