Happy New Year’s iBankCoin

The New Year’s festivities are almost here and I wanted to make sure I got to say thank you for supporting the site, before you headed off into the blue moon to inebriate yourselves to the point of retardation.

When I quit managing money in December of 2015, I was as happy as a pig in slop. Looking back on that moment now, seeing the results of the market, I am filled with regrets. Some people don’t know what they want to do in life. They hem and haw through life with indifference and half ass their efforts because their work isn’t inspirational. I was always lucky in that regard. Since the age of 10, I wanted to be a stock broker. As a young teenager, me and my nerd friends would play money manager using the Wall Street Journal quotes, some paper and pencil, and a lot of imagination.

When I became a stock broker, the dream of wanton success and elaborate degrees of winship was alive and well in me. I’d work furiously and without pause until I reached success. I achieved business success after just a few years, but was quickly disillusioned when the dot com bubble burst — causing me to lose tremendous amounts of money for my clients and personally.

Nevertheless, I moved on from that and slowly built my business back to be bigger than ever. However, the ebbs and flows of an economy on tilt, being rigged by central banks, eventually took its toll and I started to hate it. So in December of 2015 I quit.

Not having anything to do with myself, I completely immersed myself in iBankCoin, quickly moving on from personal trade ideas to news and then politics. The election season was too interesting for me to ignore. I realized by doing this, spewing out certain ideas and demonizing ‘libtards’, I’d abandon 30% of my legacy reader base — many of which had been very loyal readers since the beginning. But I couldn’t contain myself. The ideas put forth during the campaign and the pettiness that has occurred since then provided me with a golden opportunity to explore this nefarious outlet  — and I did so with great vigor and tenacity — as most of you know. In other words, I used to get angry at myself or the market for not adhering to my beliefs, now I just get mad at everything else.

I have deep seated anger issues, but I’ll be ok.

Part of reconciling with some of you retarded liberals was to lift all bans from iBC, forever. I will only ban people for making direct threats or spamming. In spite of the fact that I do not agree with many of you, I am mature enough now to see that ideas are just ideas, life is finite, and everyone should have a say.

The subsequent result of all of my bantering has led to a 60% jump in iBankCoin traffic and an appreciable spike in Exodus memberships (we do need to keep the champagne flowing around here). Aside from iBC being my soul and life’s work, it’s also a business and I take it very seriously. We’re working on some great updates for the software in 2017 and I intend to become very active in my trading account, in order to keep me focused and interested in finance.

I am very ritualistic about New Year’s Eve and believe it’s a time to cast away bad habits, old belongings, and move onto greener pastures. For 2017, I intend to return to my former glory and grace, thrusting enemy battleships into the ramparts of hell — sending all in my path towards a forlorn journey into the black abyss of never ending suffering and loneliness.

I wish everyone else a very happy New Year’s and may 2017 be the year that you finally grow a penis and become the man you were supposed to be.

NOTE: Exodus prices rise after midnight tomorrow. Lock in the lower rates now, else suffer the consequences.

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