RETAIL STOCKS HAMMERED IN ANTICIPATION OF KRAMPUS

This is one of those special moments in time that I do not need to read the news, for I already know what the problem is with retail.

The internet spawned Amazon. Amazon was created to destroy the brick and mortar retailer in order to free up storage facilities to eventually store our bodies, which will then be used as batteries to energize the Matrix. So when you’re enjoying your faggot latte tonight, whilst perusing over some eveningwear at Macy’s, just know that at some point in the not too distant future, your body will be stored there — with thousands of others — to provide the machines with the power they need to operate and manage the globe.

$JCP, $M, $DDS, $KSS, $M, $SHLD, $SSI, $ANF, $ASNA, $GES, $JWN, $BKE, $URBN, $FINL, $AEO, $TCS, $BKS, $PRTY, $DKS, $JOUT, $NLS, $PIR, $RH, $WSM.

In other news, sales for Call of Duty are way down — according to analysts.

Source: Fortune

NPD reports for November, sourced by Cowen analysts with access to the data (via CNBC), reportedly show that retail sales, aka physical copies of Infinite Warfare are down almost 50% compared to first month Black Ops 3 sales this year. This echoes a similar drop that was first noticed in the UK, and Cowen wrote in a note to clients that these numbers come in 17% below their expectations for the game. Overall, Activision shares are down about 20 percent from October.

Santa has been slain. Krampus is coming instead.