John Stumpf Steps Down From Wells Fargo to Collect Upwards of $100 Million in Compensation

I know they didn’t word it that way, since he’s officially ‘retiring.’ But you and I both know, Warren Buffett wasn’t pleased with Mr. Stumpf’s asshole performance on capitol hill, which saw him skewered by a crazy fiend in Elizabeth Warren. Hindsight is 20/20 and I know Mr. Stumpf would’ve loved to keep his asshole of a job, but public speaking classes might’ve come in handy. You’d think the CEO of one of the world’s largest banks would be able to handle the questions of little gremlins in Washington. But now that he is ‘retiring’, with no wrong doing of the fraud that he led for years, he is set to receive upwards of $100m in compensation, and other niceties, from the olde chuck wagon bank.

Tim Sloan, the COO, will succeed him and become new CEO.

“I am grateful for the opportunity to have led Wells Fargo,” Stumpf said. “I am also very optimistic about its future, because of our talented and caring team members and the goodwill the stagecoach continues to enjoy with tens of millions of customers. While I have been deeply committed and focused on managing the Company through this period, I have decided it is best for the Company that I step aside. I know no better individual to lead this company forward than Tim Sloan.”

Via Fortune

But that’s not all. Wells Fargo’s latest proxy statement says that Stumpf is eligible for salary continuation, which presumably means that he would continue to get paid his $2.8 million salary or a portion of it, for a number of years after he leaves the company, including it appears even if he were fired. In addition, even after Stumpf leaves Wells Fargo, he won’t have to drive himself, or answer his own calls. According to the company’s latest proxy, Wells Fargo will continue to pay for a part-time driver for Stumpf for two years after he leaves the company, as well as an adiminstrative assistant. Wells Fargo says the benefit is worth an additional $200,000 a year. The proxy statement does not say that he would lose assistant and driver even if he was fired for cause.

God forbid this King amongst men would have to drive himself or answer the phone. It’s especially endearing to shareholders of WFC to know that this disgraced moron of a man will receive his full salary, based from recent statements, for a ‘number of years’ after he leaves the company.

Do these people realize how obnoxious and arrogant this all is to the average American?

Definitely not.

After months of uninterrupted, hedonistic elasticity, treasuries are taking a breather. TLT is down for the third consecutive month, all of which have produced no greater one month decline than 2%. The drop, when compared to the volatility of stocks, is laughable. Plainly speaking, TLT is doing what TLT usually does in October: trade lower.

As soon as people get it into their thick skulls that (a) hiking rates will never happen, and (b) even if it did, that should affect short duration bonds, not on the long end, the ark still float, magnanimously adorned atop a choppy sea — albeit filled with grape shot and a bit tattered from the weather. Nonetheless, it floats.

Gold and silver stocks rebounded today — after a month of tumult — which brought many gold traders to their knees. Overall, gold stocks are lower by 15% over a one month period. It’s truly a horrible thing to endure such a drawdown. But, putting the drop into perspective and contrasting it versus the year to date gains of 96% — it was a little more than a blip.

The gold trade, similar to the bond trade, is contingent upon frayed nerves and an overall sense of apathy amongst the investing public. Should those nerves breakdown and people begin to sell in large quantities, both GLD and TLT will be ripping tits to the upside.

It seems to me, the single best place to invest money in 2016, for non-stock pickers (it’s important to make that distinction), has been in defensive sectors and a reflation of the China/energy trade.

Have a look.

Gold +96%

Foreign Utilities +52%

Steel +49%

Trucks +41%

Airlines +37%

Semis +34%

Copper +32%

Major oil +22%

If you believe energy will continue to move higher and the China recovery is for real, stay long copper, oil and buy some steel. If in fact, however, you believe the move higher in energy is not to be trusted and the China experiment in control economics will end up in disaster, fade industries like copper and big industrials.

Contrast the winners of 2016 to the losers and there is a narrative to discuss.

Solar -42%

Tankers -35%

Drug Delivery -29%

Generic Drugs -26%

Biotech -24%

Oil refiners -18%

(1) Why are airlines higher and not solar? (2) If China is doing so well, why are tankers getting crushed? (3) Drugs going lower? I thought America needed them? Refiners trading off? (4) Why are the oil producers doing so well and refiners are getting killed?

I’ll try to answer those questions with brief bullet points.

(1) Solar companies are wholly reliant upon the end user for their revenues. They need government subsidies to exist and Joe Public to earn those subsidies by accepting to place those fucking hideous panels on their homes. Also, much of the solar business is municipal. The problem isn’t on the government side. Obama is very willing to lavish them with free money. The issue is, indelibly, on the demand side. People do not have money to spend on fucking solar panels, especially with oil down so much. Moreover, municipals are hurting too.

(2) Tankers, like solar, are dependent on demand. With global growth slowing, there is less demand for crude than was previously expected. There are too many tankers and not enough customers. As such, carnage.

(3) The revolt against the biotech and big pharma industry is about money. That’s right, people are broke. With Obama care wreaking havoc across the nation, the student loan bubble expanding and investment in American industry at 40 year lows, you shouldn’t be surprised to learn that people aren’t happy with Epipens selling for $600 a pop and other drugs pricing out most Americans who live paycheck to paycheck.

(4) Refiners are wholly dependent on the crack spread to make money. In recent years, they profited from the divergence in price between WTI and Brent. The great oil collapse of 2015 resulted in RECORD production out of the middle east, while much of U.S. production went offline. That’s right, the great oil correction only hurt American industry and the refiners, who depend on cheap WTI to make margins, are suffering as a result.

Notice a theme here?

God only knows why people are scared of a December Fed hike. I mean, doesn’t anyone have a fucking brain inside their skulls? That didn’t sound too cerebral. I get it. But I have a cussing problem online. In person, it’s a true rarity to hear me tell you to ‘fuck off.’

They aren’t going to hike. After holiday retail sales miss targets, the Fed will bend the knee to the markets caprices.

Following yesterday’s rout, stocks are on edge today, with investors crowding into utilities and gold stocks, while running for the hills in healthcare. I think the ILMN miss and surge in the polls for Clinton is starting to truly worry degenerate biotech traders.

Let’s face it, biotech traders are low people. They don’t have medical degrees and often mispronounce the names of drugs — because they don’t care about the companies themselves. Biotech traders only care about stock prices and wouldn’t have an issue with an outbreak of the bubonic plague, as long as they were smartly positioned in a company in phase 3 trials to cure it. Better yet, they’d rather contain it. Cures are bad for stock prices. See GILD.

Anyway, it’s a slow Wikileaks drip of a day. Here are the out and underperformers in the market today, courtesy of the all glorious Exodus. Try it, you’re gonna like it (extra yo gabba gabba).

Wikileaks is truly fucking with Clinton — leaking out these emails slowly — Chinese water torture style. After all, Assange is a scorned man, holed up in some S. America embassy for years — effectively a prisoner with high speed internet access.

Thus far, here are the highlights. Enjoy these over lunch.

Hillary Clinton decided on Tim Kaine as VP in July 2015. "A little unseemly." #PodestaEmails https://t.co/sMPXali8WP pic.twitter.com/ZEjjJbsVkD

— WikiLeaks (@wikileaks) October 12, 2016

Neera Tanden: "With normal people, if you're accused of being a criminal, they expected you to deny it pronto." on #Hillary. #PodestaEmails4 pic.twitter.com/DwNxYYjKAE

— Bernie Wan Kenobi (@Old_Bern_Kenobi) October 12, 2016

.@HillaryClinton believed @SenSanders plans to reign in Wall Street were "naive"#PodestaEmails4 #PodestaEmailshttps://t.co/vr9szBFqwj pic.twitter.com/15x20wzVSy

— Carlton Banksy (@rtyson82) October 12, 2016

#PodestaEmails #PodestaEmails4 They really hate the Bernie people. #Email5423 pic.twitter.com/c8tblvcwvB

— Matan Herschel (@herschel_matan) October 12, 2016

The guy who devised the Super Delegates says let's "give" Berners a meaningless gesture and we still win. #PodestaEmails #PodestaEmails4 pic.twitter.com/dMCMpiKlO4

— Eric Isaac (@ericisaac) October 12, 2016

Proposing that Hillary shoud give a major address on how "Pope Francis Inspires Me."https://t.co/f59LIEAgKy#PodestaEmails4#PodestaEmails pic.twitter.com/Ehmh9gsjDe

— Patriotic German (@PatrioticGerman) October 12, 2016

Email from drafter of US Democrats Super Delegate system on @SenSanders #PodestaEmails4 https://t.co/RQXsmAKY0J h/t @ike_saul pic.twitter.com/5MxIPsOmeb

— WikiLeaks (@wikileaks) October 12, 2016

Ad for Hillary Clinton secretly written by Heat Street 'journalist' Louise Mensch https://t.co/BHAdbGPYqH pic.twitter.com/JFNXvHotm9

— WikiLeaks (@wikileaks) October 12, 2016

Dream on, dream on, dream on, dream bc your dreams will never come truuueeeeee!!!! #PodestaEmails4 https://t.co/b3XIOa8qWr

— Er Bear (@E_Lee_T) October 12, 2016

OH MY GOD@HillaryClinton had "OFF THE RECORD" meeting with DOZENS OF JOURNOS B4 OFFICIAL LAUNCH #PodestaEmails4https://t.co/NS54Hn48O5 pic.twitter.com/5ZPJjwRgPh

— Zach Haller (@zachhaller) October 12, 2016

#PodestaEmails4 @wikileaks how many #HillaryClinton camp staff members does it take to send out a #MLKDay Tweet? pic.twitter.com/WTlivalfFd

— JustinME (@Jeschert) October 12, 2016

If you voted Bernie, HRC played you!#PodestaEmails4 #Podesta #OHVotesEarly #FeelTheBern #MAGA pic.twitter.com/vjs1TtHQ3b

— Jesse Belvin (@JesseBelvinVIP) October 12, 2016

#PodestaEmails4 https://t.co/bo7YGYdnWc

— EVOLVEFASTER (@EvolveQuickly) October 12, 2016

This is INTENT!!! @FBI @LorettaLynch #PodestaEmails4 https://t.co/37bTLTDY4x

— Deplorable Sabrina (@Z3pp3in) October 12, 2016

#PodestaEmails4 https://t.co/HbqjwBrUZq

— Talk Conservative (@tlkconservative) October 12, 2016

Apparently, HRC owns the "BLACK VOTE," but seeks fluff appeasement Feb. 2016#BlacksArentAMonolith#PodestaEmails4 #FeelTheBern #MAGA pic.twitter.com/9OjZ30yPjm

— Thomas Bernpaine (@ThomasBernpaine) October 12, 2016

Dated March 20, 2016. Ugh. #PodestaEmails4 #PodestaEmails https://t.co/yjziq2H0cu

— Tonya Beltré (@grnigrl76) October 12, 2016

HEADLINES: #Wikileaks: Congressional subpoena intentionally subverted by #Hillary. #PodestaEmails4 pic.twitter.com/DTs72DXu1F

— Rebekah Worsham (@RebekahWorsham) October 12, 2016

In which there's planned Progressive subversion of the #Catholic church community & teachings: #wikileaks #PodestaEmails #PodestaEmails4 pic.twitter.com/8fspz5ZFnE

— retrophoebia (@retrophoebia) October 12, 2016

I’ll be announcing a conviction trade next week, based off what I believe is the best strategy heading into the elections and afterwards.

With Clinton way up in the rigged polls, I think it’s fair to assume her victory is all but priced into stocks already. Investors aren’t lazy and have no reason to wait until Election Day to price in status quo.

The thing about the status quo, it isn’t all that appealing, frankly.

Soon after the elections are over and Americans go back to fucking despising one another for non political reasons, we’ll be up against the retail season, Black Friday and Xmas. Now if you believe Amazon isn’t poleaxing your local mall, go buy some ANF — while drinking some Orange Julius. But if you’re like me and can see three, four moves ahead, you’ll prepare for worse than expected results.

Bear in mind, oil is at 52 week highs. Healthcare and college loans are crushing the souls and spirits of America’s youth. Corporate taxes are still near the highest in the world. In other words, there hasn’t been a stimulus during 2016 that might serve as a catalyst for assuming retail sales will come in better than expected.

The elections have been rough and they’ve revealed a lot of ugliness — especially about our media which is nothing more than agitprop. There’s a reason why my traffic is at record highs and why people are ignoring CNBC and CNN in record numbers. At the end of the day, I endeavor to pursue happiness without the agenda of these batshit neocons threatening the safety of my children. Also, as an avid investor in the market and someone who cares about the future of America, I’d like to see central banks destroyed — so that they could cease from meddling in open and fair markets. While you might enjoy rigged markets today, you will rue them tomorrow.

Did you enjoy the aftershocks of the rigged housing market in 2008?

Nothing good comes from lies, deceit and fraud.

1. Banks
2. Industrials
3. Retail
4. Energy
5. China

Yields are higher by 200%, only because they’re coming from practically nothing to 0.07%. The rationale behind the sell off in bunds  has a lot to do with the fact that bunds are in a bubble. We’re not seeing comparable blow outs in yield in other EU sovereigns. Some might argue Italy’s December 4th referendum is polling poorly and might lead to another EU crisis. Others will suggest the ECB will cease QE in March, leaving holders of bunds woefully exposed.

I simply think this is a momentum fueled sell off in bonds, worldwide. Yields are spiking everywhere.

It’s not exactly high yield at 0.07%. And, furthermore, it’s a good thing to have the German 10yr out of negative territory.

The neo-ottoman, Erdogan, is at it again — talking extreme shit to Obama’s sock puppet in Baghdad. I had to source this in several places to make sure it was real.

The beef is over Turkish forces in Iraq, pressing their rights against the city of Mosul. Since the failed coup in Turkey, Erdogan has been on the move in both Syria and Iraq — in a feckless pursuit to return the Ottoman Empire to its former state of utter shit.

Source: al-monitor

“Iraq had certain requests from us regarding Bashiqa, and now they are telling us to leave, but the Turkish army has not lost so much prestige as to take its orders from you,” he roared. Erdogan was referring to the Bashiqa camp, north of Mosul, where Turkish troops are training several thousand Sunni militia fighters loyal to Atheel al-Nujaifi, former governor of Ninevah province.

The spiraling dispute between the key allies in the US-led coalition against IS erupted last December, when Turkey deployed several hundred members of its special forces, together with 20-odd tanks to Bashiqa, sparking calls from Baghdad for the immediate withdrawal of Turkey’s “occupying force.” Washington has since been furiously mediating between the sides amid worries that the row could derail the battle for Mosul, which is expected to begin in the coming weeks.

Turkey insists that Baghdad was fully informed of its presence in Bashiqa. The Iraqi Kurds have backed Ankara’s version of events, saying that Turkish troops were in Ninevah to train Sunni volunteer forces with the “knowledge” and “consent” of Baghdad.

“You are not my interlocutor, you are not at my level, your quality is not at my level,” Erdogan said in the remarks aimed at Abadi. The president went on to say that the Iraqi premier’s “clamoring from Iraq” is not important, warning him to “know your limits.”

“Washington has repeatedly expressed support for Abadi. State Department spokesman Mark Toner laid out the US position, saying, “It’s up to the Iraqis and the Iraqi government to speak to Turkey’s role in Iraq.” The truth is that short of using military force, Washington can’t kick Turkey out of Iraq.

Another truth is Al-Abadi is a bitch and hasn’t been an effective leader in fighting ISIS.

To retort the hardcore words out of Erdogan, he took to Twitter to remind him they weren’t enemies. Smh.

To @RT_Erdogan: we are not your enemy and we will liberate our land through the determination of our men and not by video calls pic.twitter.com/EAX8V6sIMR

— Haider Al-Abadi (@HaiderAlAbadi) October 11, 2016

Not much to see here, other than $27b leaving the mainland, compared to $4b. In case you’re worried about the fate of the the great walled nation of China, just know that they have a spare $3.1T in the bank — for reserves. Contrast that with the fact that we OWE $20T to a sundry of central banks — including China — you know who’s really screwed.

I’ve discussed this before, even as early as today. The Yuan is lower for the sixth day in the row. This is fucking boring. None of you will listen and will eventually end up in a bathtub — crying yourselves to sleep over a bottle of gin — because you’ll be flat broke.

As you were.

This fucking idiot of a phone is a terrorist. It has nearly burned down an airplane. It has burned down several cars.  And this motherfucker has burned down homes.

Samsung should be bankrupted over this — or forced to keep 1,000 of these phones in the homes of their top executives for a period of 5 years. That would be a fair punishment, no?

After recalling 2.5m of incendiary, Dr. Claw-like blow up devices, the company has ordered mobile carriers to just give up and to stop selling them — else ISIS might find them to be convenient weapons of mass destruction.

“In the worst case scenario, the U.S. could conclude the product is fundamentally flawed and ban sales of the device,” said Song Myung-sub, an analyst at HI Investment Securities.

The company expected to sell 19 million of these little gremlins — which equates to $17b in lost sales. That’s a lot of kimchi.

Some S. Korean newspaper, called Hankyoreh, said the fucking thing was going to scrapped altogether.

“This has probably killed the Note 7 brand name,” said Edward Snyder, the managing director of Charter Equity Research.

“By the time they fix the problem they have to go through recertification and requalification and by the time that happens, they’re going up against the (Galaxy) S8 launch.”

Not to worry, however. There are still plenty of stupid Americans that are willing to buy their washing machines and refrigerators. Their market cap is upwards of $230b — with $69b in cash. Shares of Samsung are barely down tonight, off by 2.2% for the session — but higher by 20% for the year.

No one gives a shit about phones that explode in your pocket. They’ll buy the next device with vigor…because they hate Apple.

Epic fucking failure.