Gartman the Gibberish: Stocks Higher, Gold Higher (in euro terms), Oil Has No Choice But to Go Lower, Dollar to Soar, Yen to Collapse–FUCK

Before I started doing finance news, my world was secluded to a very small, unexciting, corner of the world. You had to deal with my caprices, either through my bitching and whining or discussing the glorious nature of my victories. After 8 years, believe me, it got boring. Ever since I started to write news, I’ve felt a renewed vigor in my prose and a strong desire to paint a narrative for all of you out there. Granted, none of you are able to understand, let alone realize, that I am in fact painting a masterpiece. But you will in due course.

Tonight I throw shit at the canvas and label it ‘fucking art.’

Dennis Gartman went on the teevee, with his fucked up, non-bespoke clothes, and talked a whole lot of gibberish.

Stocks to go higher, ‘lower left to upper right.’

‘Oil has no choice but to go lower.’

Gold is going higher too, but only in euro terms. Trust me when I tell you, 99.999% of traders don’t bother to convert into a foreign currency before going long gold. Also, it was one of iBC’s own, J from Australia, who gave Gartman that whole cockeyed idea of going long commodities in different currency denominations.

Also, he’s calling for a 15% drop in the yen. Yeah fucking right. Good luck with that. And, on top of that, he thinks the dollar is heading for parity with the euro. That’s more than 10% from current levels. Ha!

With the dollar viagra’ing its way higher, he still thinks stocks will rip tits to the upside. Lastly, oil has no choice but to trade lower, naturally.

FUCK!!! (head explodes)

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